Present: Deliberations & Dilemas
by jenjen.davieees
Summary: DISCLAIMER: LR takes full credit. No money for moi. Please check profile for further description but... Ace Gang grown up but not together? But a renuion is on its way at Jas & Tom's wedding. Gee's not seen Dave in 14 years. Yet. Oh and she has a kid.
1. Mistakes

**I'm backkk! (After not even being away for a long time but still...)**

**Here is my new story. One that I know not everyone will like but I hope that you all give it a shot with this chapter at least. **

**There's not really much background info I need to give you as I've tried to include it all in this chapter - all the stuff you need to know now anyway (:**

**Please please PLEASE give it a go... you may just like it :P**

(And also I have a Harry Potter fic up as well! PLEASEEEEEEEE check that out because the "readers" over in the HP section don't know me or anything so probably won't be bothered to read it. But I do have a good feeling about the fic and it's got a really good storyline coming up! So I really hope you give that a go too! Thankyouuuuu)

**Mistakes**

**Wednesday 2****nd**** September**

**Bryony**

I wonder what age I was when I figured out that my mum never really wanted me. I mean, I'm thirteen now but it seems like I've always known. I can't pinpoint the _exact_ moment I found out.

Don't get me wrong, I know I sound like some selfish little girl craving attention right now but I'm not like that. Or so I like to think. My childhood was actually pretty great. I had loads of people (ok adults) around me. They were great. I've never been that 'popular' girl with a load of friends. In fact, I don't even have a group of close friends. Well, except for Callum. He's pretty much the only person under the age of eighteen that I would trust with anything. We met in year 2 or something way back in Primary School. We've been friends for ages anyway.

I go to school with Callum which is just as well because if it was just me it really would be _just me_. I don't know what it is about me, but I just don't seem to get along well with girls my age. Wait, that came out wrong. It's not that I've ever been in arguments or fights with my 'fellow' classmates, it's that I've never really made that effort to make sure I was best friends with everyone. I guess you could call it laziness – I had so many older people fussing over me and looking out for me that I didn't feel the need to put myself out there and introduce myself to people I may not even like. Cal, of course is the exception.

Because there wasn't a so-called 'effort' there when we first met. It was just easy and comfortable. We clicked – got on, just like that.

He's amazing. The best friend anyone could ever have.

My mum is something different altogether. I don't think I could ever do her justice in description – you just have to meet her to get her. I know I said before that she didn't want me, plan for me, expect me. But since I was born, I'm pretty sure that changed. In truth, she's been the best mum in the world. Well, maybe that's a bit false. In truth, my mum is more like... a really groovy (and slightly older) sister, which is probably why I prefer to call her by her name – Gee (short for Georgia) rather than 'mum'. When I was little she didn't punish me or anything – probably because she was getting in trouble the same way I was. She's like that though – just a big kid.

It was my Grandma and Grandad that dished out the punishments, to me and Gee alike – and they still do. That's alright though, because if Gee didn't have them to watch over her I'd worry about who would then be watching over me. This one I'm not sure on, but I think that when she was pregnant the Grands didn't want Gee to have the baby – me that is. Or at least not _keep_ me. Maybe this is just an assumption. There's definitely no evidence for that now – they love me like I'm their own child. Well, I guess I part am – they were around _a lot_ when I was growing up. I think me and Gee stayed in their house until I started Primary School.

To say my mum is my role model is a bit farfetched. I don't, for example, want to have a kid at sixteen (sensing the irony?). However, 80% of the stuff I've learned so far in my life has been from Gee, however twisted and crazy the info was given to me. Half the time I don't even think she knows she's giving me a "life lesson". She just goes with the flow. I guess sometimes it's quite shocking that words of wisdom actually are present in her brain, but they've flown out to me often enough.

Ok, off with the boring 'here's my life story in a page' crap. I think intro's are a complete waste of time (hence why I don't have many friends). The important stuff should just come out over time, not in the first two minutes of meeting. Here of course, I am a fully-fledged hypocrite as I've practically blurted out my entire childhood in less than 1000 words. Still, I'll try not to hold it against myself.

I'm back to school in 6 days – that's Tuesday 8th September for those will as slightly dishevelled maths brain. I'm indifferent to the return to be honest. Year 9 is nothing special. It's not as if I'm starting my g.c.s.e's or one of the 'newbies' the teachers take pity on. In fact, come to think of it year 9 is probably one of the most pointless of all years. Especially now that they've stopped S.A.T.s. There is officially no reason for learning all the stuff we will soon be.

Callum will be there to make the year bearable though. I never really doubt whether Callum is 'enough' friends for me. Gee does though. I think because she had quite a large group of girl friends when she was my age. After my first half-term at high school when I still only had Callum as my friend she started to worry. There were several conclusions I remember hearing her discuss with Jas on the phone;

That I was being bullied

That I was socially handicapped

That I did have friends but was embarrassed to bring them home to meet the 'family'

Of course, known of these are true. In fact they're all complete crap. And Gee doesn't bother anymore, or at least doesn't let it show. Maybe she just understands I'm happy with having Cal by my side. Maybe.

As much as I've always loved my mum, and as much as she's always talked about stuff, (i.e. a lot) her 'childhood' has always rather intrigued me. For one, she went to an all girl's school, _all girls_! I think I would so refuse to go to school if Gee had made me go there. School without Callum is not school worth going to.

Anyway, before I interrupted my line of thoughts, I was talking about me wanting to know the mysteries, or rather the details in Gee's 'growing up' years. Or at least I _was_ wanting to know, until two weeks ago.

On Friday 21st August I found Gee's diary. Or rather _diaries_. Yes – multiple ones. Ten in fact. And after having read them, it's safe to say that I know more about my mum than I know about myself. The stuff that she got up to,I can't believe it. Although it's safe to say she hasn't changed much. And this makes me smile. I loved it at first, getting to know Gee from a different angle – a younger one obviously. The things she went through with everything – boy especially. Will I go through that in a year or two? Do I want to?

The diaries stopped right about a year before I was born. Isn't that convenient?

When I was 11, Gee told me that while she was pregnant and for two years after her parents made her live in Blackpool with her Aunt Kath and my Gran. Now this, clearly, is hell. Not only was she (and me I guess) forced to live in the dump of the universe but also had two old women nagging over her head constantly. (I never really got how annoying mums could be until I read Gee's diaries. Like I said before, Gee isn't really a typical mum.)

Anyway, the Blackpool factor wasn't even the worst part. Until reading her diaries, I didn't realise the worst part of her moving – leaving her friends. The "Ace Gang" they were called. From the way she wrote, I knew she loved them so much, even Jas. No, _especially_ Jas. I think that if people fight and make up it just means they are closer friends. I mean, me and Cal have little arguments all the time. It's actually quite fun.

I wonder if I'll ever make it up to Gee after she had to abandon her whole life for me. It was full of trivial problems yes, but she loved it I know. The only thing I don't know is whether I should tell her I found her diaries and read them.

I've never seen the 'angry' side of Gee. Not yet anyway.

**Libby**

Sat at home biting my nails like normal. It's a horrible habit I know but drastic times call for drastic measures. If you call this drastic that is. I do.

I'm starting Uni in just over 3 weeks. A Uni I'm not even sure I want to go to anymore. It's weird, I'm not an impulsive person, yet apparently when I wrote down my Uni list it was on impulse. Or, as I like to say, panic.

Of course I can't tell my parents that I'm unsure about my decision – they yelled at me for putting Nottingham as my top choice in the first place. Apparently the fact that it's a top Uni went over their heads when they realised how far away it is (and it's not even that far). They just don't want me anywhere that they can't keep an eye on me.

I don't know why. I'm fairly certain I haven't done anything 'crazy' since I was four years old and gave my friend a makeover. Bear in mind he was a boy.

But still, it's not like I'm... Georgia.

So here I am, shaking in my seat. What was I thinking accepting my place at Nottingham? I can't go all that way down south. Or however far it is. I get homesick just _thinking _of going. And I don't even love my home that much.

Of course, there's much more as to why I'm worried about leaving. My friends. My sister. My niece. I'm not good with change, I know that. When I was five and my mum and sister when to stay with my aunt for a while (long while) I cried for a whole week. Apparently.

My life is structured and orderly; my parents saw to that. I'm not a party girl or rebel. I don't even like the taste of alcohol and I'm eighteen. How the hell am I going to cope with Uni?

Answer: I'm not. And to make matters worse for me I'm missing the first two days of Fresher's Week due to Jas and Tom's wedding. So instead of going down on the Saturday along it the normal people who will bond and make friends I'm arriving on the Monday, _two_ days later and worse off from it.

All of this is exactly why I'm biting my nails, shaking on my bed and also hitting the floor repeatedly with my right foot.

I should just not go – just stand up and say that I don't want to go to Uni. No, I want to stay home instead and get a job. Right, cos that's going to happen. I'm the biggest coward I know – I couldn't even tell my dad I was the one that broke his favourite Elvis mug until three months after it happened. And that was only a couple of years ago.

C.O.W.A.R.D. Coward.

I'm constantly on edge, or so it seems, trying not to screw up. I guess that I'm acting so weird right now (practically hyperventilating) because I _haven't_ screwed up before. This is all new to me. And I'm not sure quite how to handle it. Which of course, as things go, makes me panic even more.

Izzy, Charlotte and Ellie; they are all excited about going to Uni and seeing different people and places. Even Izzy who only speaks to people after ten hours of contact to ensure they aren't a drug addict, alcoholic, crazy or generally not nice. And people say _I'm_ the weirdly shy one.

Although, in my family I guess the labels of "shy" and "quiet" and "boring" belong on my door. If we had labels that is – though that would be beyond odd.

Mum and Dad, no matter what they say, love to argue and rant and... well shout pretty much. Georgia, well she's pretty self-explanatory if you've met her and definitely the most outgoing. (See how I veered clear or 'overly loud' and 'intrusive' there?) That then leaves Bry, Gee's daughter and my niece. She's... well I'm not really sure how to describe her in a couple of words. I'd say bar me she could possibly be a candidate for 'quietest' but then... she certainly has her loud and un-shy moments. I guess it depends on what she's feeling like, or who she's around. Nevertheless she's certainly more confident than me and she's five years younger. Great.

I get on with Bryony really well though. Which I guess is quite odd seeing as we are rather different and I am then forced to sprout some rubbish about "opposites attract". Silly clichés.

The relationship I have with Bry is possibly a more grown up relationship with Gee and she's turning thirty this November – but that's Gee all over. I doubt she'll ever properly grow up. She's a lot like Mum and Dad though – they are really crazy but just hide it better.

In fact, if it wasn't for video proof of my crazy antics when I was a toddler I would claim with quite a lot of evidence that I am adopted. I'm not though – and still deciding whether this is good or not. Bryony started off crazy. But where was the shock in that considering Georgia is her mum? Gee always used to tell me that Bry reminded her of me when I was that age and she was of a similar age to what Bryony is now.

This news, for some reason, made Bry laugh her head off. And made me blush with embarrassment. How that's another thing. I get embarrassed way too easy. Especially living around the people I do. I may as well paint my cheeks red for the rest of my life – that's how often I'm made a fool of.

Bryony is one of the few people who doesn't make fun of me, even though sometimes she doesn't understand my reasoning's. Maybe she's been a little bullied in the past or something – Georgia carried that theory for a while when Bryony didn't make any new friends when she started high school.

Now _that_ is one thing that I could understand. Not the bullying (except from the family) but the making friends. It's definitely not my forte. But this just makes me all the more grateful that I have the great friends I do. There's only four of us put we've been that way since year 7 and nothing has split us up – not boys, arguments, jealously. Of course, now we sound like a bunch of dreary hermits but we're not I promise.

We are rather... girly though. Or that's how I would perceive us. As in we have a tendency to dodge away from the ball (or anything flying our way), hop up onto the sofa when we see a spider (no matter how big) and refuse to go in some dirty grotty loo (_especially_ if there' s no loo roll). And, because we are extreme multi-taskers, we also have a tendency to scream while doing all of the above. So yeah, girly.

Bryony is not girly, or not girly in our way. In fact she's the one that would be yelling at us to "catch the damn ball" or telling us we're cruel when we ask someone to kill the eight-legged creature patrolling around the carpet. But yet, me and Bry still get on well, we always have.

My relationship with Georgia is a little different. Me and Bryony are different in some ways and similar in others. But me and Georgia, we are as opposite as two people can be. She is loud, I'm quiet. She's fidgety, I can sit still for hours. She doesn't think before she talks, I try to be polite. She doesn't think about anything, I... well I would say I _always_ think – over think things, but my ever so recent dilemma about Uni has clearly proved that statement false.

Maybe Uni won't be as bad as I'm imagining. Maybe I won't end up sitting in my room on Friday nights, friendless and alone because I refused to get drunk and throw up the next morning. Maybe. My course is English Studies and French. And despite all the negativity over Uni, I'm looking forward to the studying part, as odd as that seems coming from an eighteen year old. But, as you've probably figured out by now, I'm not the typical person for someone my age.

I love learning about other countries and France is no exception. I love this course because I get to mix learning the language of French with the cultures involved in France and Britain. I'm especially excited about the literature side of the course as well because I love to read – all those hours when others are out playing sport.

Bryony really amazes me. She loves to read (despite Gee's influence) and seems to have read _everything_ I can think of, yet still does every imaginable sport. I feel faint just thinking about all that. Amazing.

I'm really going to miss her when I go to Uni. She is possibly the one that keeps me sane when I'm not with my friends. I told her she can come and stay with me at some point. Although right now, I'm not sure for whose benefit that little promise was for.

**Jas**

Oh my god. 25 days. That's all it is. Is it? Yes, yes it is. 25 days, 600 hours, 36000 minutes. Until my wedding. _Our_ wedding. Mine and Tom's. And it's going to be amazing. I think. I hope.

It's been in planning for _ever_. Two years in fact. Tom proposed to me at the end of summer when I was 27. We had been living together for three years and after sorting out our jobs and everything, it seemed like the perfect timing.

I'm a Primary School teacher and co-incidentally teach where me and Georgia went – Greenwood. It's great there even though it has changed quite a lot. The kids are really sweet. Tom works for a conservation company and loves it. I'm so proud of him – he's really doing something he loves, we both are. The only difference is sometimes his work takes him away on several occasions where as I am pretty much rooted to the spot.

Anyway the wedding – yes, _the_ wedding. I'm wearing white, duh, and there's a special delicate pattern on the corset top before the long, slightly puffy (emphasis on the _slightly_) bottom end flows down to reach the floor. There's one little broach on the right of my corset that is peachy coloured to match the bridesmaids' dresses.

Tom is wearing a black suit as are the groomsmen with a peach tie so we are all matching. Yes, it really is going to be amazing. Or at least so I thought.

I think I may have made one of the biggest mistakes ever. And it may quite possibly ruin my- _our_ wedding. You see, Georgia is obviously my Maid of Honour. There's no one else that comes close to the best-friend spot. But then that leaves the matter of Bridesmaids. I was going to ask a couple people from work but it didn't seem right. I knew who I wanted, I just didn't know if it was fair to ask...

The Ace Gang pretty much split up (for lack of a better phrase) when we were all about sixteen and about to enter Sixth Form. It started when Gee abruptly upped and left to go stay somewhere with her Mum. It wasn't her choice of course and we were only told why she left a couple months later which as you can imagine, was not good. None of us could imagine Gee being a mum and we desperately wanted to talk to her to see if she was ok. Heck we _tried_ to talk to her, but her mum wasn't having it. Georgia was off limits for a while.

After her departure the next thing was College. I knew where I wanted to go, or rather where I wanted to stay but the others weren't too sure. In the end me and Ellen carried on where we were, Mabs and Jools went to a mixed college (shocker there) and Rosie, Rosie Mees, went to Sweden with Sven. Or at least we _think_ they went there – I never really figured out which country that boy was from.

From Sixth From was Uni. It didn't matter where I went in relation to Tom by this point because he had decided to go to America. Of course at the time this was possibly the worst thing _ever_. We decided we'd 'take a break' over the Uni period and date others if we met someone we liked. I didn't. I don't know about him.

Luckily, (and probably due to my praying) Tom didn't meet anyone special in America nor did he wish to live there permanently so he came and we... well I think the wedding is a pretty clear indication of what happened between us.

But being at a separate Uni to the Ace Gang, I don't even know if I called them that then, was odd. I made new friends but nothing to rival the friendship we had. I still stayed in contact though – thank the world for technology.

After Uni I came back to live locally and saw more of Gee than I could wish for – or want on some occasions. It turned out she returned just when I left for Uni – lovely timing. But when I got a job in the local area me and Gee connected again and frankly it was as though nothing had changed. Well, if you didn't count the five year old little girl she had.

I don't think Gee had really stayed in contact with the others though. Like I said, when she returned they had all left for Uni and didn't return having settled where they were. In fact, I think I was the only person to actually move back to my home town. And I know she hasn't spoken to anyone on the phone or the internet like me. And right now that's making me a little nervous.

I invited them all to the wedding. There, I said it. Oh, and they accepted. _Everyone._ Rosie, Ellen, Jools and Mabs. And their respective partners, whoever they are now. I spoke to them all quite recently and I know that they aren't still involved with their boyfriends from High School. It seems me and Tom were the only ones to survive all the change.

This isn't even the worst part though. On the contrary, me and Georgia meeting the Ace Gang again will probably be a rather happy occasion – one I would look forward to openly if it wasn't threatening my wedding. But like I said, it's not the Ace Gang that's making me worry-ish.

It's Tom's guests. Or as they are more commonly known – Rollo, Sven, Dec, Ed and Dave. All of them coming. All of my friends coming. And all of Tom's friends coming. Friends that used to be friends. Friends that used to be _more_ than friends. Friends that _aren't_ more than friends anymore.

Anyone else sense a recipe for disaster?

So do you agree? It was possibly a mistake to invite _both_ sets of friends? What if they kick off? What if they start ridiculous arguments of 'who broke up with who'? They could ruin the happiest day of my life. They could...

And it doesn't stop there. My biggest mistake is one I'm still carrying out. I haven't told Georgia yet. I haven't told her that Dave is coming. I haven't dared.

What happened with her and Dave... no one really knows except them. And even then I don't think that Georgia's 100% sure. Dave is the one topic she won't talk about. Ever. Of course this just makes me want to know more but after eight years of getting no response, I learned to drop it.

Bryony's coming to the wedding. And again, I don't know whether this is a mistake, as much as I love the girl. This'll be the first time that everyone sees her. Come to think of it, I'm not even sure the lads _know_ about her. But either way she'll be the new toy everyone wants to play with and I don't know how she'll take that. Something tells me she's not one that likes to be petted and although I haven't seen it yet, will Gee as a mother I'm fairly certain she has an explosive side.

And of course once people meet her they'll want to know things about her. They'll have questions. And one question in particular which is one of the first we asked thirteen years ago. The one that never got an answer.

Who is the father?

I'm just gonna have to tell her. I'll just come right out with it when she's round here. She won't mind right? Nothing _that bad_ could have happened between her and Dave could it? Nothing bad enough that she would ruin my wedding for right? Right?

Maybe I'll e-mail her. Or write a letter. I'm clearly too chicken to tell her in person. She may biff me. In fact, she would _definitely _biff me. And my body is still recovering from High School.

The phone – I'll phone her. That way all she can do is yell at me a bit. No harm done right? Plus if I tell her now that gives her chance to cool off before the wedding. That's super smart thinking that is. Yes, that'll work. It'll be fine. All fine.

Gee won't over react... ok that sentence should never be used as it is clearly more crap than... a crap thing. But maybe she's finally matured? Oh wait, that sentence is crap too.

Ok, now or never. I'm by the phone. In fact it's in my hand. I can do it. Press the buttons. Just pretend she's a... rabbit. Yes, a rabbit. Rabbit's don't argue back when I talk to them in the fields. Oh no, I really shouldn't have said that...

"Hello? House of the most amazing girls ever. Well unless this is someone equally amazing, then you are clearly in the wrong house."

Do it do it do it! "Gee?" I said quietly.

"Ooo Jassy! What can I do for you?"

**Georgia**

Oh my giddy god. No wait, that phrase is way too happy for this doomed situation.

Oh my pantyhose. Oh my God in hell. Oh my Lord Sandra. Oh my knicker-eating crap.

It's happening. It's actually happening. I knew it would someday I just thought it would be a day way, wayyy in the future. I'm talking light-years. I can't believe Jas or Tom or both of them or whoever invited him. _Him?_ How could they invite _him_?

And she tried to soften the blow by telling me the Ace Gang would be coming as well and it'll be like a big puffy rainbows in the sky reunion. How dare she mention rainbows when she's just told me Dave is going to her wedding. If she was closer I'd biff her.

There is no upside to this situation no matter what Jas was saying – or trying to make herself believe. I shouldn't go. I should put my foot down and say "Sorry Jassy you made your choice and clearly you have chosen Dave."

Except I'm Maid of Honour and I really want to wear the pretty dress. Grr. I need help.

Puff puff pant pant up the stairs two at a time. Who says my sporting days are behind me? I told Bry I was heading out; she's fine by herself for a few minutes. I legged it all the way here (the Old's house) and am now struggling to get my breath back as I charge into Libby's room where she's sitting on her bed looking like she's about to faint.

I almost ask her if she is ok but then I remember this is about me and my dire situation. Sometimes I am almost too kind for my own good. Sometimes.

"Libs I need your help." She sits up straight quickly and moves to let me collapse on the bed. Then she even lies down in a similar position next to me. This means one of two things – either she understands the crapiosity of my problems already or she has her own shit going on right now.

I'll go with the first because she is a rather clever, intuitive sister.

"I'm scared," she says just as I open my mouth and I think for a moment she's stealing my thoughts. I glance over at her to see she's pale white so think maybe there _is_ something up with her and maybe, just maybe she can go first. So then she will be full attention-wise for me later on of course.

"I don't think I want to go to Uni anymore." She says and I open my mouth in shock. Libby not going to Uni is about on the same scale as the Pope giving up Christianity. To my parents anyway. I sort of feel sorry for Libs. She used to be amazingly cool and... well crazy when she was little. But then, well, I got pregnant.

After that it seemed Mutti and Vati decided to change their parenting style to "hardcore". Not wanting to make the same mistake they did with me clearly. So Libs grew up with the Old's watching her every move. I don't know how she did it – I would've picked up and left home long ago.

Libby's now like the opposite of who she was as a toddler. All shy and calm and... she actually _thinks_ before she does stuff. Odd right? And yeah, I guess this is kind of my fault... so I try and help Libs out when I can.

"Why d'you say that?" I ask to which she shrugs into her duvet.

"I... I'm not good with new stuff." That's true. When she had to start High School she practically convulsed. But it's not surprisingly considering Vati practically kept her locked up until the age of sixteen.

"This'll be different," I say though I actually have no idea on the situation because I never went to Uni. "Why don't you talk to Jas?" I suggest because she's the first who I think of Uni people. But then I remember that I now hate her and am officially ignorez-vousing her.

"No actually don't," I say before Libs has chance to answer. I see her turn her head to the side to look at me though. "She'll just betray you."

I can see a smirk on my sister's face but I pretend it's not there because I am trying not to take my anger out on her right now.

"And how did she betray you this time?" Libby asks and I don't miss the mocking tone. Meh.

"She invited Dave to the wedding." I blurt out before realising this was probably not the best thing to say. She's intrigued now though. I can tell.

"Dave... Dave as in the Dave that you went out with when you were younger?"

I frown and stare at the ceiling. "That'd be the one."

"So why is that a problem?" Libby asks and she sounds so innocent that I just can't tell her. Even if I was considering it for a millisecond.

"It doesn't matter." I say finally sitting up and walking over to the door. "I have to go."

Libby sits up too but doesn't get off her bed. "Err... ok. Sure. Just... don't tell anyone what I said ok?"

I give her a small smile. Does she really think I want the Old's to squash her? "I won't," I promise. "And Libs?" I say just before I go, "Uni'll be ok. It will."

She nods but doesn't believe me. I know this because she goes back to biting her nails. She always does that when she's worried or nervous. I used to tell her (when she was eight) that one day her nails would never grow back. She of course went and looked it up in a book from the library (somewhere I never ventured at her age or... ever).

Anyway she came back to me and said, "You made a mistake Gee,"

I nodded and said, "I do that a lot."

**I hope you liked that but if not, please let me know how I can improve it, I won't be offended I promise xD**

**This was really just a trial chapter to see what people think. In future chapters you may only get a couple of point's of view or maybe some different ones. **

**The majority will be these four girls though I reckon.**

**Again, please review it will be mucho appreciated (:**

**P.S last thing - I need a better title for this fic so it is due to change. Be aware. **

**Horns out ;)**


	2. Surprises

**DISCLAIMER: totally Louise Rennison's characters (bar one). She takes full credit.**

**Hey! Thanks for such brillopads feedback! I'm glad that you're liking it so far. If you want a better description of this story then go to my profile (:**

**You won't get the next chapter till Thursday unfortunately. But I am on me hols so thats why :P (south of france.... tis vair VAIR hot!)**

**In the mean time check out my Harry Potter fic that will eventually be Hermione/Draco. It's on my profile: "Truth is Stranger than Fiction" **

**Surprises**

**Tuesday 15****th**** September**

**Jas**

12 days to the wedding. Not that I'm counting or anything. I just know it's 12 days. 12.

I think I'm ready. Everything is in order; the caterer, the outfits, the reception room. We're getting married in an old, local Church of course, even if we aren't that religious. We wanted a Church wedding. They reception is at this lodge place that doubles as a hotel – that's where the _majority_ of the travelling guests are staying. I say majority because up until last Thursday it was going to be _all_.

When Rosie and Sven appeared on my doorstep I didn't know quite what to do. It's probably about two years since I've spoken to Rosie in person (we met up half way between our houses, she lives further down south these days) and about ten years since I've seen Sven. In the end I ran forward clumsily and hugged each of them individually. I didn't know why they were here together – the last I heard they had split up whilst living together over in Sven's country. But there they were, together, on mine and Tom's doorstep.

"Well don't you look like you've been flattened by an angry toad!" Rosie had said.

And then me, flustered beyond belief asked, "What kind of toad?"

After that rather poor introduction, or rather re-introduction (since we do already know each other) things got easier... and weirder. Rosie explained that yes, they were accompanying each other to the wedding but no, they were not in a relationship. And just when I thought I couldn't get any more confused Sven opened his mouth and nearly scared the inner owl out of me. A part of this was because he now has a well adjusted English accent, but I have to say most of it was down to the actual words.

"We're married." Yes, that's right. Those exact words. Married. But get this – they're not '_married _married' as Rosie pointed out.

"What?" Was the only word I could form after trying to grasp this ridiculous news.

"Well Sven wanted to come and live in England permanently." Rosie said, "But was having trouble getting a visa. So I married him," She said with a shrug of the shoulders like it was an everyday thing; which I suppose it could be in Rosie and Sven land.

"How long for?" I asked.

"Six years."

"Crikey. Why didn't you tell me?"

Rosie grinned, "I wanted to surprise you." Right, of course you did.

She is crazy. Mental. Weird. They both are. "Well I see you haven't changed," I said. They looked at each other and smirked before turning back to me and shouting "HOOOOORN!" Right, of course.

Some people are just downright odd. I told this to Tom the next day when we were mushroom picking for my mum. He agreed.

So Sven and Rosie are staring with us until after the wedding. They don't mind staying in the same room either which is just as well because there isn't another one spare.

These last few days living with them have been bizarre though. Sven gets up at half 6 every morning so he can go for a run before he makes everyone breakfast. Breakfast! I shouldn't really complain because the food is nice but it's a tad odd isn't it? I'm getting freaked out by the Rosie/Sven situation the more I see them together. Rosie keeps trying to assure me that they're not _together _together and true they don't normally live in the same house but still... it's so weird. And Rosie really didn't help matters with what she said last night at tea.

"We're thinking of having a baby."

Me and Tom actually froze. Well, I froze; he proceeded to choke on his (beautifully cooked) piece of chicken. I helped hit him on the back to... well let him breathe again before I said what both of us were thinking. "Are you crazy?"

Rosie looked hurt for a second but shrugged it off easily enough.

"Well we have to make this marriage seem realistic."

Tom swallowed, "That's definitely realistic."

Georgia and Bryony came round at the weekend to see our new guests. I was a bit nervous before hand but now thinking about it I don't know why. I should have known that Rosie and Gee would act like they'd never been apart and get on like a house on fire. They were without a doubt the most stupidest- oh wait, I mean most _outgoing_ members of the gang. And even Sven joined in when they decided to show Bryony one of our old Viking dances. I can't believe they still remember them. That is so them.

Well actually to tell a secret I knew it too but lied and kindly offered to keep Tom and Bry company.

Bryony had a great time that night – she can really let go when she wants to. Definitely Georgia's daughter. I also think she loved meeting Gee's friends – besides her bestie, me of course. She certainly soaked up the stories Sven told, though I have to say they were rather exaggerated. None of us said anything though so we let Bry believe what she wanted to. Then later on Rosie decided to teach Bryony more of our dances while the rest of us cleared up from tea. Well, me and Tom did. Gee and Sven seemed more interested in throwing plates to one another which, by the way, was not helpful in the slightest.

After a minute or so of silence (after I'd yelled at them to stop trying to break my new china) Gee perked up again to say "Cheer up Jassy. Just because Rosie has just replaced you as Aunty of the Year doesn't mean you have to take it out on us."

I scowled at her. She is talking rubbish. Again. "Don't be so petty." I told her but she just grinned and stuck her tongue out. So childish. Sometimes I can imagine Bryony being the adult in their relationship instead of the other way round.

I like entertaining. The weekend decided that for me. (Despite the plate throwing incident.) Once me and Tom are married I'd like to make friends with some married couples like ourselves. Rosie and Sven's twisted... thing does not count as a marriage. Or at least not a healthy one.

Maybe a couple from Tom's work. There's lots of nice, normal, _sane_ people over at his conservation place. I met them all a few years ago at the annual Christmas party. Very nice, although a bit weird because the majority of them were older. Still, it was lovely to be around some mature people for a change. And that is in no way in offense to Gee or anything... obviously.

It's just older people have more life experience, so are obviously going to be more mature. Georgia's been living twenty odd years (twenty nine to be precise) as a fourteen year old so it's really no surprise she's the way she is.

I suppose everything has its advantages though. For instance Georgia is a writer for a teenage magazine. It's basically her _job_ to sound self-involved, moany and immature and trust me, she pulls it off very, _very_ well.

A lot of Tom's work friends are coming to the wedding with their respective partners so we'll get a chance to 'mingle' then. Tom speaks highly of them all. One guy was even going to be his best man at one stage, but in the end Tom decided on his brother, Robbie. Speaking of, I've not seen Robbie in a while. He's constantly moving around the country; drawn by wherever the music development is currently at his peak. He still plays and sings, but nowadays Robbie's main focus is helping new bands 'make it' and he helps set them up for their future.

I wonder if that's what he tried to do for Gee? I wonder...

**Bryony**

Surprises suck. Well actually that's not entirely true because normally I love surprises. But bad surprises, the ones that are more like nightmares as in the actual thing is completely un-thought of and when it comes its totally unexpected – those surprises suck.

I've been back at school a week now and like I predicted it's a complete waste of time. And as well as the work being pointless this year has suddenly turned unbearable.

Let me tell you what I did over the summer: I went to that famous tourist hot spot called 'my back garden' and sat in the lack of sunshine for six whole weeks. Now let me tell you what my best friend Callum was doing. And no, it doesn't involve contacting or seeing me. He went on holiday with his family to America like he does every year. His family is rich: very rich. Anyway after he came back from however many weeks away he didn't call or anything to let me know. Of course, normally I would not be bothered in the slightest by this. Callum may be my best (and only) friend but it's not as if we're inseparable or anything. I like my independence.

So when I didn't hear from him during the summer I didn't give it a second thought, except to maybe think he was staying for a longer time over the pond (he sometimes does that).

Back to school last Tuesday and I was ready to have a big catch up which was just about hte only thing I was looking forward to, even if the first day of school is possibly the only good day throughout the year (along with the last day and sport days). Everyone frets about their timetable and who they're in classes with. It's quite amusing to watch really.

But last Tuesday I wasn't amused. Why? Because it turned out Cal _was_ home for the last two weeks of the holidays but instead of choosing to spend time with me he... found more interesting company.

I know that right now I sound completely over-run with jealously and to be honest, I am a bit. And it's so weird. I don't think I've ever been jealous before in my life. I just don't get jealous, it's not me. So this is really throwing me off course.

Let me explain more. Or rather let me share what Cal told me, the day _after_ we returned to school. On the Tuesday he was way too hesitant (cough, _chicken_) to tell me. I guess because it's always been just the two of us. Three... that's a silly number. It's odd. All over.

While in America Callum's parents met some of their work friends and shock horror, it just so happened that they had a kid in the same year, at the same school. Fancy that? So instantly, as things go Callum and his 'new friend' were... forced (or so I like to think) to hang out together. It's the sort of thing Cal and me love to mock; stupid fantasy fairytale friendships where people instantly hit it off even though they know nothing about each other. (You may remember that the other day I said little introductions mean nothing. You have to spend _time_ with people to know you like each other. Well I'm still sticking by this... even if I'm not true to my words myself.) Apparently the fairytale thing is exactly what happened, but this time it was real. And it involved Cal. _My_ Cal.

His name is Nathan. _Nathan_. Straight away I knew I wouldn't like him (example of me ignoring my own words) because Nathan is an idiot's name... or a cocky arse. God, I'm turning into such a hypocrite these days. Like I said, normally I don't like to judge before getting to know a person. And usually I never _do_ get to know anyone new so the judging never comes into play. But Nathan, I knew he was bad news, I just knew it. And this past week after actually having spent some time with him has proven me right. Or so I think.

For starters, I did already know who Nathan was (as he has been in my year for the past two years) but we've never had any classes together so I didn't know what he was like as a person. Although right now ignorance seems better than knowledge. (Again, me being a hypocrite: I don't think it's right for people to have such a strong opinion on something they know nothing about. Gee does this a lot and I always scold her for it.)

Nathan Lloyd-Barnet is his full name. Or "call me Nate" as he said to me. Ergh. His family are of a higher wealth than Cal (which is saying something) but Callum is still deemed as an 'acceptable' friend unlike me. Apparently my single parent status and low income isn't up to the mark when it comes to _Nate's _expectation list for people he could be associated with. He is spoilt and snooty and where I may have come to this decision partly on his looks, his personality was the concluding factor to my assumptions.

Looking back (after that long time I call one whole week) any relationship Cal hoped me and posh boy could have was doomed from the start. As soon as he introduced himself (that's the 'call me Nate' bit) I wanted to turn around and run home to have Gee shout "HOOORN!" at me as I entered the house. Much more appealing than "Oh, hello there," in my opinion. I know I don't exactly have a lot of friends (okay one) but I never thought of myself as someone who would refuse to friends with someone because of their differences to me. And maybe I wouldn't have if Nathan had treated me as equally as he does to everyone else. But the way he looks at me; I can't decided between whether it's a look of pity or disgust. Either way it hardly makes me feel warm and happy inside. In fact it makes me feel horrible and then I think horrible things about him for making me feel horrible inside and then I feel horrible about myself for turning into a horrible person.

Nathan Lloyd-Barnet has brought out the worst in me and no one even knows because I haven't told anyone that I find him rather repulsive. Cal has surprised me in being friends with such a... different person to himself. I mean yes, they are both well off but since when does that mean anything to who you are? _Nate_ plays _tennis_ and _cricket_ in pearly white clothing that are probably washed every night. Cal plays rugby in the mud.

So yeah, Cal has surprised me firstly with his 'new friend' and his own choices I guess. And I've surprised myself; I've figured out I'm not the person I thought I was, or maybe the person I wanted to be. And realising this, _that_ surprises me.

I went to see Libby (my Aunt) at the weekend. She is normally good with this sort of thing; well when I say 'this sort of thing' I mean feeling rather incompetent and lost. I told her all about Cal and Nathan and their _special _bond that seems rather inexistent to me. Then I told her about how I don't feel well because I'm feeling rather jealous although looking back I guess that was quite self-explanatory by the way I described Nathan;

"He's just a stuck up rich boy who only knows how to do _rich_ things with his stupid black hair and dark eyes and-"

"Maybe we should talk about Cal," Libby said which is just as well because I felt like I was about to conjure up a Nathan doll and stab it one. She always knows when to calm me down. And _how_ to which is also important I guess.

"Cal... well Cal is still... being Cal I guess," I said with a shrug, "But it's hard to talk to him with Nathan hanging around. I don't know why Cal just doesn't tell him to go away."

"Maybe Cal likes him. Maybe that's why you're so angry."

I frowned but I knew she was right. Damn. I walked over and collapsed onto the bed in an untidy fashion. Libby shifted so she was lying next to me.

"I don't want to be angry." I said so quietly I barely heard it myself.

"You don't have to be." Libby answered, "Just don't do anything you'll regret."

"Like punch Nathan?"

Libs laughed, "I was thinking more along the lines of upsetting Callum. Although that would probably do the trick." I joined in her laughter then before we both fell silent for a few minutes.

It was Libby that spoke next, "You know, me and Gee were lying in these exact same positions last week."

I turned my head to face her. "Really? Why?"

"We always seem to end up like this when something's bothering us."

I nodded, sensing that I shouldn't ask what it was about. I'm sure they would tell me if I needed to know.

"Are you looking forward to going to University?" I asked to change the subject, but then wished I hadn't as Libby's face crumbled momentarily.

"It's... I..." she stuttered before sighing deeply. "I'm hoping it'll surprise me."

I glanced at her, "In a good way I hope."

She looked at me. "Me too."

Surprises suck. I said it before and I'll say it again. During my first week back I've uncovered more surprises than I could care for. I didn't enjoy it.

I guess this is the reason I'm heading straight to find Gee as I walk home from yet another miserable day of playing 'third wheel' at school. I'm going to tell her that I found and read all her diaries. I don't want to lie and I'm not going to wait ages so she can be surprised later. That's not fair. Surprises suck.

**Georgia**

If my Vati gave me a quid for ever time I've been surprised I'd have a vair lot of quids I would. And Vati, he'd be vair vair quidless. Let me think of some examples...

When Mutti told me we were going to move to Kiwi-a-go-go land

When Mutti said we no longer have to move to Kiwi-a-go-go land

When Robbie told me he was moving to Kiwi-a-go-go land.

When Robbie came home from Kiwi-a-go-go land.

(What is it with this bloody country?!)

I'll move on...

When I got a job as a writer for a magazine

When Angus died (bless his furry, chaotic soul

When Libby grew up... normal instead of a raging lunatic

When I found out I was pregnant

I guess that one's pretty much the main one. Yupp. No matter how loopy I was at 16 I did not _plan_ to have a baby. And it was rather unfortunate timing but hey ho, that's the life of Georgia Nicolson for you.

The best surprise was when Bry was born. Well probably a few minutes after all the pain and torture, _that_ was a pretty good surprise. It was just amazing the feeling of holding her. She was _mine_, all mine. I knew then that whatever had happened previously, that was the right choice; _she_ was totally the right thing.

Being a single-Mutti surprised me in that I _wasn't_ a single-Mutti at all. Once me and Mutti moved back home (Blackpool is a lovely place go visit...) there were so many adults around me and Bryony that I wasn't left with much to do. Jas and Tom (when he came back from Hamburger-a-go-go land were constantly round – they may as well have moved in. Mutti and Vati, no surprise here, decided to butt in whenever they could. Although I guess most of it was to help out so that was alright at the time. I'll let them off.

It was a few years before I finally managed to convince Mutti to let me and Bry move out. She continued to sprout some crap about me not being mature or responsible enough. Well look at me now? Doing alright aren't I? Ha! I showed her... ish.

Even when we were alone in our own house we weren't _alone_ though. Mutti and Vati were always "in the neighbourhood" and "just had to call in". Of course, my house is only 10 minutes from theirs so technically they are _always_ "in the neighbourhood". I never really told them this though because they seemed to bring stuff round when they came. I.e. a pillow or extra cups. Quite useful. I felt like putting a notice on the door; "No admittance without pressies!" Who knows what I would have gotten?

Libby was useful for baby-sitting sometimes and Jas actually _did_ move in for a bit. Just at the start to help us "get settled". Her words not mine. She soon scampered off back to her and Tom's house after a few biffs and midget gem bribes though.

Me and Bry were cool by ourselves for the most part – and when I say this I mean the _fun_ part. That is my speciality if I say so myself and I do.

Besides all the other visitors, me and Bry were just _me and Bry_. I mean, I knew that one day she'd ask about her Vati, or at least I thought she would. But here we are, 13 years later and not once has she brought the "Vati" subject up. Not once. Jas seems to think its unhealthy. Once when she was round for tea (and by that I mean _she_ was making tea) she started dropping hints to Bry (who was around 9). She was so trying to get Bry to ask about her Vait. I had to kick her in the shin to shut her up. Jas, not Bry.

When Bry does ask, and surely she will at some point, I want her to _want_ to ask, not just because someone else is pressuring her into it. And I will tell her all she wants to know. This is what I told myself and its exactly what was running through my head earlier on when bry marched right up to me after school today to blurt out that she'd read my diaries. Now _that_ was also a pretty big surprise.

Being the kind soul I am, I let Bry stomp around the room in a bit of a rant while she admitted to finding and reading my diaries. She was clearly panicked and worried about something. Did she think I would be angry? Am I angry about it? I just think I'm confused for now. When I was her age knowing anything from Mutti's past was cringe-worthy beyond the valley of cringeyness. But for Bry, I guess she liked knowing this stuff. But then again our relationship isn't exactly typical Mutti-daughter stuff. Even I know that. Not that I'm dim-witted or anything. Ish.

"I'm sorry, so sorry," Bry said in a vair rushed way, although she had stopped pacing now. "I know I should have told you but I started and then I couldn't stop you know? I just-"

"Ok time out." I said putting my hand over her mouth to shut her up. If she's not careful she'll turn into a rambling, ranting vole like Jas. _And_ she likes nature and stuff. I shall have to keep her away from Jas' bad influences in future.

Now where was I before I so rudely interrupted myself? Ahh yes, calming Bry down.

"Why don't you sit down before you fall down on your botty?" I suggested. Bry paused for a moment before plonking herself down on the sofa.

"I read them all," she said.

I raised my eyebrows, "Yeah I got that."

I waited for it – waited for her to ask what happened next. Surely she realised that it wasn't long after those diaries that I became pregnant? She is a rather smart cookie after all.

I sighed and sat down next to her, "So, I guess you have a few questions?"

Bryony frowned at me, "Questions? I... I... are you not mad?"

Am I mad? "No." There's my answer. Why am I always the last one to know these things?!

"But I invaded your preivacy! If someone read my diary I'd-"

"You keep a diary?" I asked, vair intrigued now. I wonder where she hides it. Under her pillow? Or is that too obvious? Under the bed?

"That's not the point." Bry said waving her hand around. Is there a fly in the room or something?

Pause.

"So... you don't mind?" I shook my head, "And you'll answer questions?" I nodded again before she continued, "Ok... I think I have one."

I braced myself. Should I answer truthfully? Is it worth it? Will she care who her Vati is? Will it matter?

"Why is Libby so different to how she was when she was younger?"

"Well it's complicat- What?!" I stuttered. Did she seriously not just ask who her Vati is? Why the bloody hell not? Everybody else has been asking me about it since they knew I was pregnant! And I promised myself that Bry would be the first to know anything. If only she'd bloody ask.

"Libby," Bryony continued, snapping me out of my trance. "Why has she changed so much?"

"I...err... I..." bit more stuttering, "...well after I erm, got pregnant... I guess, well I _know_ that the Olds went rather strict with her."

"What do you mean? Give examples."

"Ok," I began, "Well she wasn't really allowed to go out, like to friends' house or boys- _especially_ not to boys' houses. They made it really difficult for her to make friends so she that's why she became really shy I guess."

Bryony frowned, "That's horrible." I nodded in agreement.

"Well then..." Bry started again, "... why weren't the Grands like that with me? I've had loads of freedom."

"Well duh, that's because you have the most awesome Mutti _ever_."

Bry laughed like a loon. A loon on loon tablets in fact.

"I put my foot down," I said in what I like to think was a serious-type voice although it just made Bry raise her eyebrows so I guess not.

"Ok so I may have a little bit, slightly yelled at Mutti and Vati. But it was only to tell them to butt out and let me make the rules and stuff. Sometimes they just needed reminding that you're my kid not theirs."

I looked to see Bryony with an amused smirk on her face. "You yelled at Gran?"

I nodded in a 'maturiostiy at all times' way. "The things I do for you right?"

She laughed again, "Right."

**Tom**

Life, for me, is an amount of time sectioned into various stages. Obviously the biggest is the year, which is split into months, then weeks and days respectively. Of course some people would choose to decipher further with hours and minutes too but days are fine for me.

Life is important; very important. And since days make up life I like to do something important each day. I guess this is what you could call me 'philosophy of life'. Something important, something helpful, encouraging, useful; whatever it is if it is life affirming I fit it in everyday.

My job obviously helps with my life values. Working for a conservation group enables me to constantly help the environment, animals and nature in general. In truth, I love my job and I'm happy to say it. Everything I'm doing is everything I've ever wanted to do. Just last week I was working on a new scheme in a forest. There's been a reported drop in numbers of badgers there so we went along to check out the area and hopefully make it habitable again so the badgers will return or re-populate. It's all good stuff.

But there is a downside, as I'm sure there is with the perk in everyone's life. I just consider myself one of those lucky people that can call their 'perk' their job and have it be such a big part of my life. But the downside is unfortunate because it's positive and negative all in one. Being a conservationist means I have to travel to the various conservation parks around the country. And trust me, they are _all_ round the country. In fact, the nearest one is just short of an hour's drive away. But the actual travelling is not the bad point – far from it in that I _like_ driving and travelling around the country. I think it opens my eyes to new ideas.

No, the hard part for me is being away from Jas. I miss her so much its un-real. It's hard on her aw well I know, and that's why I'm especially glad and so grateful that she has Georgia by her to keep her occupied. It's always a safe bet that Georgia will keep Jas' mind off things if anyone.

And there's Bryony. Jas loves that kid. We all do. There's something about her that no one can quite pin the point on. She's very bright for her age, but I guess that was bound to happen with so many people watching over and helping her from a very young age.

When I heard about Gee's pregnancy I was just as surprised as everyone, maybe even more. But along with the shock of surprise came something else... anxiety? Worry? Intrigue? And all of that wasn't really based around Georgia for the main part. No, for me those feelings were towards two of the people that I loved most in the world at that time; my best friend, Dave and my brother, Robbie.

When Robbie staggered into my room during the night fourteen years ago in March I knew something was wrong from the off. For one, Robbie does not _stagger_; he marches, walks or strolls. This Robbie seemed clumsy and unsure. It was almost as though he was drunk – which he wasn't after I discovered several tests later.

But his hair was oddly messy and he was doing was rocking back and forth on my bed, his head in his hands.

"I can't believe I just... oh my god... why did I let it... this is bad... but it felt..."

I went and sat down on the bed next to him though refrained from touching his shoulders for now. The only other time previous to this I had witness my brother this bad was when he was deciding whether to go to Kiwi-a-go-go land or not. And still, this was ten times worse.

"You erm, want to talk about it?" I offered.

Robbie shook his head so I stayed silent. But no sooner had he finished shaking his head that he spoke.

"I slept with Georgia."

No _that_, that surprised me.

**Woop woop! what's going through all your heads now?! I hope that has added to the excitement!**

**And before I go... who is your fav character so far? I know at the moment they're kind of all in that non-moving state but when the wedding kicks in loads of different directions will flow for them all (:**

**horns out ;)**


	3. Expectations

**Yes title has changed... it'll make more sense in the future me thinks :P**

**3rd chappy here and things are about to get interesting! ish.. haha (: naa lots of good stuff to come I promise!**

**thanks for all the reviews and ponderings.. i love reading them!**

**also i know i am probably the most annoying person in the world because i keep saying this but check out the harry potter fic on my profile! please (:**

**Expectations**

**Saturday 19****th**** September**

**Libby**

The world is run by expectations. Everybody knows it, but most people don't like to acknowledge it. I'm one of those people. Expectations scare the hell out of me. Well maybe not the exact expectation part, just the idea of failing to live up to it. Screwing up basically – _that_ scares the hell out of me. Ever since I turned, what, five? Well since then Mum and Dad have kept me on a leash. A very short leash. I wasn't allowed to go out with my friends, go to friends houses unless their parents contacted mine, join a club after school, even have remote contact with boys.

I know my parents did this because they _thought _they were doing me a favour. Which I know sounds ridiculous but they had their reasons. Basically they didn't want me to screw up and have a baby like Georgia did. Well, that's putting it a bit harsh. For one, I don't believe Georgia screwed up at all. If it wasn't for Bryony I'm pretty sure this family would have driven me crazy years ago. Bryony's kept me sane.

Most of my expectations are negative. That way at least I don't get my hopes up only for them to be crushed, which is what happens in the case of most expectations. The main 'expectation' (if you could call it that) on my mind at the moment is Uni. As in it'll be complete crap because I won't fit in at all. I don't know _how_ to live like students do. They like partying all night, drinking till they drop and living in an environment fit for a load of rats. I _don't_ like that. I like things clean, my head clear not dizzy and a good night's sleep. In all, I'm probably more like a fifty year-old than an eighteen year old.

Thinking about it, I don't know why I'm like that. Well no, I do know why, I just don't know _why. _Mum and Dad, although they tried a different parenting technique with me, they didn't change that much – according to Georgia anyway. None of them are particularly... orderly or insistent on certain things. In fact they are very _very _mad and scary to outsiders. And me sometimes as well. They don't make sure everything is in place or nothing is dirty like I do.

So I really don't understand how they drilled that into me without following it themselves. Very odd.

The sun is one big over-expectation in my opinion. People love to love the sun. It's the 'thing' to do. But in reality, having good expectations of the sun is just a waste of time. Everyone (supposedly) loves to sun-bathe and get a tan. Of course if I tried to do this it would result in me turning very, very red. I do not tan.

But that's not the reason I don't like the sun. I just hate the trickery that it possesses. People marvel over the sun. They think its omnibenevolent and life-giving. Ok, so maybe it does help life a... lot, but it also kills life. The sun has so much power that it can destroy or kill whenever it wants. Think about it, plants and animals are constantly dying from lack of water. And why is there a lack of water? Because the sun is so bloody hot that it evaporates the water away causing a horrible drought. Selfish.

And when it comes to us people the sun is no more generous. I don't understand why people are so satisfied with getting a tan. Gee loves it, my parents love it, my friends don't really _not_ like it. In fact, Bryony is pretty much the only person I know that shares my dislike for sun bathing. Because what is it really? It's just _burning_ your skin. Burning, ruining, killing. That's all the sun does.

And when you get older and your skin is all tanned it just goes horribly wrinkly. I like to take care of my skin and I can imagine nothing worse than old crinkled skin. Ew.

It'll probably come as no surprise to you now then that I am possibly one of the whitest people to ever walk the planet. Me and Bry that is, although even she gets a bit more colour as such than me because she likes to be outside.

I'm definitely an _inside_ girl. I can't stand mud, bugs, little creatures and anything with legs really. And the smaller they are the worse probably. That means I can't see where they are or where they're going. I'm shuddering just thinking about them. So grim. I like things that are dry and clean and in the place where I left them. Basically I'm rather up tight – though I'd never admit this out loud. I'm not _stupid_.

In fact, being smart is probably the only thing I _am_ good at. But then again when I was young and not allowed to be with my friends what else was I to do other than read? I still read now of course, but I never read more than when I was around fourteen years old. I'd end up reading a book a day – especially in the holidays. It was definitely my favourite thing to do and took my mind off how boring and unsatisfying my actual life was.

My friends love to read. Come to think of it, that's probably one of the reasons we all got closer. To read was the first thing we learnt everyone else loves. And since we all loved it in turn our friendship grew. Makes sense really. And for once my parents approved since Izzy, Charlotte and Ellie were hardly drunken, disturbed people who were a bad influence. Or at least not on the surface.

Ok, _that_ was a joke. Even if it was really, really bad. Being funny isn't really my forte in case you haven't guessed. The only thing I've got is sarcasm. Thank God for that.

Nine days till I go to Uni. Now people would expect most people my age to be jumping up and down with excitement right now. But that is wrong for me because;

I'm _not_ excited (unless scared shitless can be counted as being excited)

That would involve showing emotion and I'm too much of a reserved person for that

Bryony has been acting funny these past few days. She keeps asking me if I'm looking forward to Uni etc. This is strange in itself because normally Bry is the last person who makes me uncomfortable, as in she never does. But trying to come up with a plausible answer that's not a flat out "no" was making me more uncomfortable than I like to be.

She knows that I don't want to go of course. I haven't told her, but Bry is just like that. She _knows_ these things. Definitely a people reader. It's a gift. Sometimes. Other times, like now, it's rather intimidating.

I want to know what's brought this on though because Bry is never normally this... edgy? I don't know if that's the right word. But she does seem rather on edge and not herself. Almost like she's tip-toeing round me which she _never_ does. And I don't like it.

Of course I'm way too chicken to actually go up to her and ask straight out what's up. That is possibly ten times to bold on my scale of shyness. (I did mention a little something to Gee though.) And Bry is basically one of my best friends; does that illustrate how timid I really am?

I don't like offending people. Which is often the reason that I _don't_ say what I'm thinking. Ok, I hardly _ever_ say what I'm thinking. But I think offending people is such an easy way of making enemies and so confrontations. And if there's one thing I hate more than creepy crawly bugs its confrontations.

I would be the worst person to have on your side in a fight, physical or verbal. The mere thought of me trying to actually fight someone is laughable. I'd probably break something trying to run away rather than at the hands of the 'opponent'.

God forgot to give me rather a lot of qualities – confidence, the ability to not stammer when nervous, co-ordination. It's a bit mean if you think about it. People like Bryony have it all and I'm left with... not a lot.

Georgia... Georgia likes to _think_ she has it all. But clearly she's kidding herself (and I mean that in the nicest possible way). She's got better, I think. But she certainly thought highly of herself when she was a tad younger. It was in an amusing way though, and now I think about it I bet a lot of it was just to amuse _me_.

If I was sat on the wall outside (carefully analysing it before getting onto it of course) a twenty-one year old Gee would attempt to climb the tree saying stuff like "don't worry Libs I'm a tree climbing expert" or "I used to be in the Olympics for tree climbing you know".

However different we are, she never fails to bring a smile to my face. And _that_ right there is her best quality. Forget whatever else she thinks or used to think she is. Making me smile. That's a pretty good thing to possess in my opinion.

I only wish I could have done the same for her during the hard times in her life.

**Gee**

Expectations mestations sultations ignations expectations. Mush.

Nobody holds any expectations over me. Most people pretty much _stopped_ making expectations of me when I got pregnant. So my life is free for however I want it. Ish.

I guess even before I was pregnant people didn't really have expectations of me anyway. I mean, Mutti and Vati were too wrapped up in their own world to really notice me (surprise surprise) and the Ace Gang were... well they knew me well enough not to _expect_ anything in particular.

There was pretty much only person I remember holding any sort of real expectations over me. And I screwed that up more than a screwed up thing on a screwed up day. But ain't that the story of my life? I am such a fool. And he clearly didn't deserve me. Maybe.

It's eight days to the wedding. The wedding where Jas and Tom get married. Or more importantly in my case, the wedding where I will see Dave for the first time in what? Thirteen years? Nearly fourteen? One of them.

How long did we go out for before all the 'trouble' started? Four, five months? Was it even that long? I know it was good, marvy even at one point though. Before everything went crappy and I broke expectations that was. Stupid expectations. I don't even know why I did it – not at the time, not now; probably won't ever know.

Nobody knows what happened between me and Dave – at least not the whole story anyway. Sometimes I'm even unsure and think I'm remembering stuff wrong. When I do remember that is – mostly I try to _not_ remember because it's weird and... hurts I guess. I know it ended horribly. And I know there was a lot of yelling, shouting akimbo and blubbing. Definitely blubbing.

But I suppose that's the past and this is now. I've gotta grow up (ha) and show my maturiosity side at the wedding. I will be the bestest maid of honour ever to walk the planet and I will stay out of Dave's way. Yupp yupp.

Jas' hen night is on Thursday. I wanted it on Friday but apparently she wants to be "alive and kicking" (how lame) on Saturday to sort out (that means panic over) the last minute plans for the wedding. Oh pleaseeee, if stuff isn't sorted by then, it's clearly not going to be sorted in time anyway. But that's Jassy Spassy alright. Silly vole woman.

We're going round to Jas', (Tom'll be out) then taking things from there. I've made a super surprise for the party that they don't know about yet. Basically it's this list of things that have to be completed by the morning. I'm _expecting_ it to be complete, even if expectations are stupid.

It'll be me, Jas (duh), Rosie, Karen and Christina (people from Jas' work) and the rest of the Ace Gang. They're all coming up north early. Jassy doesn't know – it's a surprise. Originally they weren't gonna come but after Rosie turned up we figured the 'reunion' as such might as well start early. And it'll make Jas happy. I hope.

Libby came to see me yesterday saying that she thought something was up with Bryony. This I thought was vair odd because Bry has been fine with me. I'll have to take Libs' word for it that it's only when they are together.

Speaking of odd things (and I know all about odd things trust moi) it's been four days (my maths skills are fabbity fab as ever) since Bryony told me about reading my diaries and _not_ asking any questions about her Vati. That's right – no questions. Questions: zero. Zilch. None.

It's not that there's been no questions. I've had loads about the Ace Gang and stuff we got up to at school. We even talked about boy stuff for a moment. And by that I mean I was wondering in my head if she had snogged anyone yet. So I thought back to my first snog – with Whelk boy and thought I should give her some tips. You know – stay away from creepy, sucky monsters and whatnot. I brought up her bestie Callum and casually asked her if he had snogged her yet. In a normal way of course.

"So have you and Callum reached number five yet?"

"Don't make me puke."

Anyway when we were talking about general mess Bryony kept asking questions about the other girls – she really hit it off with Rosie and keeps going round to Jas' to see her and Sven. Now a responsible parent would keep her away from a creature like Sven at all costs but a Georgia Nicolson parent, well she would let her daughter learn from her own mistakes. Oh yeah.

In true moi fashion I ended up blurting out the surprise about everyone coming for the hen night. Although that's not really scary potatoes shocking since I do tend to tell Bry quite a lot. She got really excited and starting helping me with the list of stuff too. Although I think her suggestion of "spin the bottle with a load of strangers" is a bit too tame for my liking. Plus if we don't find any strangers in time it'll just be a bunch of girls playing. Erlack. Just before Jas' wedding is _not_ a good time to start up the lezzie rumours again.

In fact _no_ time is good for that.

I think when the Ace Gang have their reunion we should totally make Bry an honorary member. We've been putting on some loud music and practising all the dances every night. Apparently Rosie and her are 'performing' them at the wedding reception so she wants to get it perfect. I wonder if Jas knows. That'll be a fun conversation. I'll have to let Bry borrow my horns so the audience gets the full effect. And I wonder if I can dig out my paddles too...

Rosie. Sven. Rosie and Sven. Rosie Mees. Sven... what is his last name? Something Swedish I think. Is Rosie even still Rosie Mees? Is she not Rosie Sven? (That's the substitute for his last name. How creative of me to use his _first_ name.) Who knows. I certainly don't.

What in the name of Big G's pantyhose (if he has them which he may in today's modern world) is going on with them two anyway? It's a vair freaky thing if I say so myself and I've been through some vair freaky stuff. Freaky deaky with knobs on. Me and Jas keep on twittering about it whenever we get a free moment (Rosie seems to be _everywhere_ – that's quite scary too.)

Jas thinks that it's all just an act on Rosie's behalf. She says that Rosie is actually in love with Sven though he just thinks she married him so he can stay in the country. Poor Ro Ro if the Old Wise Woman of the forest is true. She will have her Viking heart broken and I certainly know what that's like. Minus the Viking bit.

Unless of course Sven feels the same way. Then they're both in love with each other but are pretending they're not in love with each other but just matey mates. Matey mates that are married but don't live together but go to weddings 'together' even though they aren't in a relationship.

My head is confuzzled.

It's nice to have the Viking Queen around again though. And Sven though I'll be dead as a dead fish on a platter before I admit that. He's still as tall as ever. And as blonde. But weirdly enough his accent as gone all funny. It's not quite English but not quite Reindeer-a-go-go land-ish anymore. That hurts my head too.

Rosie has... not changed in the slightest. Luckily. She's still the same mad old bat that actually makes me look rather normal. Which I am of course. Norma normal. There's nothing like Rosie, my Mutti or my Vati to make me feel normal. And people say I'm the noisy one. Just cos I'm _lively_.

I wonder if Rosie knows Jas won't let her wear her Viking horns during the ceremony. I asked once if I could wear my blue and white striped scarf if it's a little chilly. I got a biff on the head for that one but don't worry my dear fans... I biffed her back. Harder.

Much how Angus used to do; bless his crazy, mad, lunatic, raging, wild, furry soul. He died quite a while ago actually. We had a little ceremony for him in Mutti and Vati's back garden. About the only right thing in there. Gordy is still alive and moving. Well, _moving_ is probably exaggerating a little too much. He's an old thing now he is. But he still manages to give a good hiss and scratch every now and then. Good times.

But in my opinion, if there's ever been anyone in the history of ever who's exceeded expectations it's Super Cat Angus. If he were at Hogwarts and doing those silly frogspawn tests he'd get an EEE: extremely exceeds expectations. He was brill and fab and amazing beyond the valley of everything brill and fab and amazing.

R.I.P mate. I hope you're happily ripping off body parts and causing as much chaos as possible in kitty cat heaven. That's my boy.

**Bryony**

I don't think I've ever felt a need to live up to expectations. And I don't really want to. People have never really expected anything of me in particular so it's never really bothered me.

Recently, as in the last four days though, that seems to have changed; with Gee that is. And I know why even if I am playing the unknowing, oblivious idiot. (That I have to say I am pretty good at. I should be an actress.)

It's not as if I've never thought about my dad. I mean I have gone 13 years alone with Gee so obviously I don't know the first thing about him. I guess this is why Gee keeps wondering when I'm suddenly going to snap and ask a million things at once about him. But the thing is, I don't _want_ to know anything about him. I'm not one of those girls you see in films that leave home in order to find out their 'true identity'. I _know_ my identity and I'm perfectly happy with it.

Despite what people may think, having just the one parent hasn't been in anyway bad for me. Not even in the slightest. I've got everyone I'd ever need around me whenever I need them. There's Gee for everyday stuff and having fun, the Grands to tell me off, Libby to help with my random problems and recommend good books to read, Jas to teach me about nature and help me with school work occasionally and Tom for the "why are you boys such idiots?" conversations, although up till now we haven't had to have one of them.

I say up till now because I can sense one coming on very, very soon.

Nathan whatshisface is the most arrogant, big headed, conceited person to ever walk to the planet. That right there is a fact. I don't think I can handle another four weeks with him under half term. But even then it won't end. Why? Because Cal is now insisting we'hang out' when we're _not_ at school. As in I actually have to spend time with _Nate_ outside of the obligatory corridors of Richmond high school. And at least then I can ignore him/block him out by choosing to work instead but outside of school? I'm screwed, as I learnt today.

Cal tricked me of course. Sneaky schemer. He knew that I would just make up an excuse and not go if he had told me 'good old' Nathan was coming. And he would have been right. But as it turns out I got excited to actually be spending some time just me and Cal like the old days for nothing. I can't believe Cal did that to me. Although at least it means that he's finally got it into his head that me and Nathan are just not going to be friends. I still don't know why he _expected_ us to get along in the first place. We are just so different. And he is... not nice.

We met up at 9 this morning for badminton. I should have known something was up just from that. Cal is definitely not a morning person like me. But then again I just figured he was trying to make it up to me for bringing such a tit into our lives. Damn I wish that was right.

Of course when I turned up at the sports hall to be greeted by that smug face it put a damper on my morning. And Cal was ten minutes late which meant I had to put up with _his_ company until someone normal came. Callum said it was because he got up late, which would normally be a reasonable excuse for him but I know that he was 'late' on purpose so that me and Nathan would have to talk. Well his plan failed. To the max.

At first it was alright, or at least bearable. We sat at opposite ends of the court 'sorting our stuff out'. And by this I mean I pulled out the same battered old racket that Tom gave me and Nathan started polishing, yes _polishing_ his shiny new perfect expensive racket that might as well have had a sticker on saying "yes I'm better than you" on it.

And just when you expect someone can't get any worse, they do. It was not enough for Nathan to sit in silence. No, he had to make his way over to me, swinging his racket dramatically so that it just missed my head. I made sure not to move.

"What do you want?" I hissed at him to which he just smirked. Jerk.

"Nothing, nothing," he said casually, "You any good then?" Clearly that was a remark towards my racket.

I stood up then so that my face was inches from his. His eyes are scarily dark. "I don't need money to win my way on the court." I said angrily before pushing past him and walking to the other side. I didn't get far though because he followed me. Apparently annoying me from afar is simply not satisfying enough.

"Are you questioning my talent?" Nathan asked, an amused expression on his face.

I think I actually snorted at that point. It would make sense as to why Nathan's face twisted anyway.

"Maybe you shouldn't judge people so easily Bryony." Ergh what is he now? A bloody philosopher and shrink? I tried to ignore him and walk away when I remembered I had left my bottle over by my stuff was went back to get it – still ignoring him at all costs.

"You're awfully pale you know," he said out of nowhere. I mean come on, what brings someone to say _that_ when you're about to play badminton? It didn't stop me turning to glare at him though and of course notice how tanned his skin is. Of course, something else he apparently 'beats' me in.

Libby told me how she believes the sun's basically the hidden enemy of the earth because it kills stuff, burns people and sucks the life out of things, (most commonly known as heat stroke). I like that theory and tend to stick to it. I don't care if I don't tan because frankly it would look stupid anyway what with my hair being a sort of dirty blonde colour. And Libby, her hair's properly blonde so looks good with her white skin. Or at least I think so. Tanned people are just _burned_ people.

This thought comforted me as Nathan removed his jackets, clearly just to show off his brown arms from the summer, if you would call it that. Personally I prefer showing off his tainted skin, which is all it is. He's _English_, not African. He _should_ be white not brown – that's going against nature.

Anyway where was I before going off on that tangent? Oh yeah _lovely_ Nate and his stupid comments about my white skin.

"Well aren't you observant," I said sarcastically. Nathan opened his mouth to reply but it was then that Cal turned up looking all flustered and with his pathetic excuse of sleeping in late. It's a good job he came when he did before I ended up using my racket for hitting things other than shuttlecocks.

Nathan wouldn't be having kids after that.

Putting all my energy into slamming things at Nathan really helped my mood though. Cocky arse decided he would go on his own against me and Cal. Obviously he was expecting us to be shit because he strolled around the court at first like he owned it. We showed him though and ended up winning, even if it was closer than I would have liked.

Not that I'll ever admit it out loud (it's bad enough here) but Nathan is annoyingly good. But then again his super rich parents probably bought him his own court when he was five. It wouldn't surprise me.

I'm glad he lost. I don't think I would have been able to refrain from really hitting him if I'd had had to see his stuck up face _congratulate_ me for my efforts.

I need to get Nathan out my head. I guess I could do what Gee wants me to (I think) and start obsessing over everything to do with my dad. If only I felt the need. But I don't.

I don't need to be rich and have lots of money. I don't need to have the perfect family with a mum and dad and brothers and sisters. I don't have to have loads of friends constantly around me to make me feel happy. I don't have to do any of that because I guess that's what most people would _expect_ a girl like me to want.

Normally I'll admit that people generally want what they don't or can't have. But me, I'm perfectly fine with what I've got, whether it be my bizarre family or my whiter than sheets legs. I'm happy. And I don't need anything else, not a tan or an annoying rich friend or even a dad.

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Jas**

I like expectations. Expectations make for better people; they give us all something to aspire to. This is why I like to set my expectations high, even if sometimes I can't reach them. If you put the effort in, that's all that matters.

It's eight days till the wedding and everything is in place. Of course, I suspect that there will be something else that just happens to crop up in the mean time but I've prepared for that. I've got from now till Thursday when my Hen Party is (God help me since Gee is planning it) and then Saturday to refresh and make final plans – Friday will most likely be spent sleeping.

It's not going to be a big hen party. There is only five of us in total, but I'm expecting Georgia to do something... Georgia-like and I'm ready for that. I hope. I feel quite sorry for Karen and Christina right now (friends from work) as they've never met Georgia before. Or Rosie for that matter. The most they have to deal with is noisy, little, Primary school children. I can't even begin to imagine what they'll make of these big kids. My career could be over.

Me and tom have decided that from Thursday onwards we're going to 'separate' until the wedding. It was Tom's idea and I like it – very traditional. Unfortunately, as with most things, this has a downside. For me, it's that I have to live with Georgia for three days. I may go insane. I put my foot down for the hen night though – that's taking place at mine while Robbie takes Tom out somewhere so we don't meet.

Although thinking about it I'd quite like to see Robbie again. He hasn't stayed up here for longer than a night in over five years. He surprised me, Robbie – I always took him for a 'home' person if that makes sense. Like the people he made friends with as a child he would keep for life, and he would always live in the area he was brought up in. Clearly I was wrong though because Robbie hasn't 'lived' here since he took that trip to London with the Stiff Dylans years ago.

I wonder if he's still friends with them? Well bar Masimo of course who... well they never really got on. And if Robbie is in contact with the other members it's not as if he sees them often. But he travels so much that I guess it's hard for him to have really close friends. Apart from Tom of course – him and Tom are closer than even I knew. I'm glad he's Tom's best man. I bet he's really looking forward to the wedding and seeing everyone again – Tom, his parents, old friends, his family, Gee, even Bry probably.

Robbie's only met Bry a few times, but every time he does he seems to have the time of his life. They connect really well though those two. And not just in the normal adult-child way. They joke and play and laugh constantly as well – Robbie is really good with her.

I wonder if Bryony remembers him. Wait, what am I saying? Of _course_ she'll remember him, the last time she saw him (even if it was only for a day) she was ten. I teach children of years seven and eight and they remember _plenty_ of stuff.

_I remember one short trip of Robbies – he had said that it would be his last in a long time (and he was right – 3 years!)_ and he choose to spend all his time with Bryony which, knowing their connection wasn't too shocking. But I recall a specific moment when Bry called him "Uncle Robbie". She only said it once but the look on Robbie's face; he looked crushed. Till this day I have tried to work out what Robbie was thinking back then. My first thought was that he didn't want it to be just "Uncles". I know that at one stage in the past Robbie was really in love with Georgia. Maybe he was thinking back to when he imagined it would be _his_ daughter in front of him with Gee, not his 'niece' as such.

But like I said, that was just my _first _thought. Other than that I've considered that Robbie was upset with himself – thinking that Bry thought of him as an Uncle but he wasn't around enough to be a 'worthy' one. Maybe he felt guilty? Of course this is ridiculous if true because Robbie is a fantastic role model and if need be, Uncle, for Bry. And she likes him a lot. Surely he knows that?

The weird thing is that Bryony never called Robbie "Uncle" after that one time. Or maybe it's not weird – Bryony can be a very perceptive girl when she wants to be. She knew, just _knew_ that Robbie was uncomfortable with that naming so didn't use it again. That's something I love about Bryony – she picks things up, learns things to help her in the future. I wish Georgia would do that.

My parents held high expectations of me when I was younger and I think that was a good idea. Despite certain bad influences (basically the whole of the Ace Gang) I worked hard in school got good grades and even made Head Girl in Sixth Form. Ok, maybe I still would have done the same otherwise, but I believe that my parents' expectations of me pushed me further.

When me and Tom have kids (and we will) I will expect them to have good manners, a good work ethic and generally be well behaved.

I expect we'll have two kids. Two is a good number. One girl and one boy so it's even. See I'd love a little girl to dress up and teach about the natural world and I know Tom would love to baby her too. But then there's also the 'boy factor'. I can see Tom teaching a little boy to play football or something – he'd love that.

So yeah, one of each sounds perfect. Maybe the boy first, so he can be protect his little sister as they both grow up. Gee always says that since I work around little children constantly that it would put me off having them myself. But if anything it's made me even more excited to have my own baby. I can't _wait_ to get married and start a family. It'll definitely be the best moments of my life I'm positive.

And I don't care if people think I'll "jinx" the future by holding high expectations, I _have_ high expectations but I _know_ that Tom or any child we have will totally exceed them. Bring it on.

**The wedding is getting closer! oo oo oo! keep reading & reviewing to learn more about present stuff & gee's past! xD**

**ps. harry potter fic: truth is stranger than fiction**

**HORNS OUT!**


	4. Habits

**Bonjour everyone, thanks for reading & reviewing... good stuff coming up soon (:**

**Habits**

**Tuesday 22****nd**** September**

**Gee**

I don't have bad habits. All my habits are tres excellent and marvy. Because I am a marvy person and a marvy friends – marvy with knobs in fact.

And if it wasn't for my marvy habits and my marvy self and being such a marvy friend Jas would not be getting such a marvy hen party. So luckily for her I am that marvy. It's quite amazing really.

Only two days left until the fabby party. Jas is moving in as well earlier that day the lucky devil. If she tries to tidy stuff up like she normally does though I may be forced to give her a good biffing or two.

Anyway the party starts at 8-ish – that's when me and Jassy will be going to her place. The rest of the Ace gang (not Rosie since she's already here) are turning up around 9. That should be fun. I can't wait to see Jassy's face when her old pallies knock on the door. And she thinks she's not going to see them until the wedding! Ha! As if the Ace Gang would miss a golden opportunity like this! Jassy Spazzy about to officially wave goodbye to the single-mingle club. This sounds like it needs a send off Ace Gang style. Oh yes!

I think I might be a tad nervous about seeing the Ace Gang again. But it'll all go smoothy smooth of course. Plus from what Rosie has told me and Jassy there are some surprises to come from other people as well... hmmm.

Robbie came home today. I like seeing Robbie even if it is a bit awkward at first. I haven't seen him yet though so the awkwardness is still to come. I haven't told Bry that he's back either. She's rather distracted at the moment and not in a good way so I figured this surprise will cheer her up.

Bry and Robbie get on really well. Like spookily well. More than me and Robbie ever did. They actually have stuff they can... _talk_ about. How odd. But I'll let it slide.

I wonder what it is that has upset Bry recently. I know it's something to do with Callum because normally he's round here every second and I have to shoo him away but he's not been round in a while. They've definitely had a falling out. Or maybe Bry's discovered that she actually does _like_ like him and it's making her feel funny. I should talk to her about it. I'm sure I've been through whatever it is that's troubling her if it's to do with those silly boy-type people.

I'd better watch what I say though. It seems I have a rather bad habit of saying too much. You know the general foot in mouth disease or where I dig a hole that's so big you can't actually see the bottom looking down. Nightmare. But I blame Mutti and Vati. They brought me up.

When I was younger I definitely had a bad habit of having the horn. The Cosmic one totally. And it totally screwed me up. But now, turning _thirty_ in two months I have no lads. How depressing. Bring back the days of the horn. Well, no I don't mean that but a bit of... dating would be nice perhaps. Unfortuanately a lot of (cough _every_) guys are put off by the kid factor. Which is stupid because Bry is 13, she's hardly a kid anymore. And she's very mature for her age also.

But guys don't like that. They don't like all the baggage as such. Not that I see Bry as baggage. She is so not baggage. She's super cool with knobs on. And it's good because she gets on with everyone, particularly Libby which works out super duper well for moi because Libby is scheduled to look after her on Thursday night when I'm out at Jas' hen party. (Fabbity fab hen party I should say). They'll have a good time I'm sure. Bry is very excited about it anyway. I'm sure she'll keep Libs entertained she always does. They can have some boring talk about school and reading and crap. Not particularly my cup of tea but hey ho, I'll be up partying it up with the Ace Gang.

The door bell just went so I'm hopping down the stairs to the answer the door. Well not actually hopping as that would be a vair stupid thing to do on the stairs but the point is all there. Watch this for a welcome.

"HELLLLOOOOO-"

Oh my giddy god. Robbie is standing at the door. Looking vair tall and handsomely gorgey if I say so myself. And I _so_ do.

He smiles at me. Swoon. "Hey Georgia."

"Err... h-h-hi." I stutter which just makes Robbie grin more before leaning forward to hug me.

"It's great to see you," he says and I blush. At least I think that's blushing.

I nod like a nodding fool, "I... yeah- you too."

"So... can I come in?" Robbie asks, waiting for me to answer. I nod again and step back so he can follow me in. This is odd. Vair vair odd.

In the kitchen with Robbie. We're sat round the table but it's only ever so slightly... erm what's the word? Ahh what the heck it's gone.

"So are you excited about the wedding?" Robbie says and I avoid his eyes.

"Yeah it's going to be... it'll be... great?" Did I just ask a question?

Robbie's smile disappears from his face and he shuffles his chair around the table so we're sat closer together. Is it hot in here or is it just me?

"You haven't seen him since... everything have you?" Why is Robbie so smart? He seems to know everything.

I want to tell him to shove off because really it's none of his business but I don't because I like Robbie and I don't know if all that is exactly true. "No I haven't." I say and my voice is all quiet like. I wish I had a drink or something to distract myself with. And to stop my throat from feeling so dry all of a sudden.

"You know," Robbie begins, "I... well I'm here for you if you... you know."

I look up then and can't help but meet his eyes seeing as he's not exactly sat a million miles away.

"I know," I say but I don't think I'm all that sure about it. Things have taken a turn for the worse. I don't want to feel this... sad and worried. I want to be happy and... me.

"Did you ever tell anyone? Anyone else I mean?" Robbie says and I'm thinking we've definitely dived in at the deep end here. This is the first time we've seen each other in three or so years. But we're friends so I guess that's ok.

"No," I say and it's the truth. I never told anyone except Robbie what happened. In fact he probably understands things a lot better than me. "I didn't. Did... did you?" Oh crap I can't believe I haven't thought about this. I mean, Robbie said all those years ago that I could trust him. I did trust him. I _do_ trust him.

"No." Robbie answers quickly. Too quickly.

I narrow my eyes. "No?" I question and I can practically hear his heart beat increase. Although maybe that is because we are so close.

"Ok, ok," Robbie says and rubs his eyes with his hands. "When... after we... well I told one person. Tom." Oh lovely.

I push my chair back and go to stand up. "You told _Tom_?!" I try to yell but due to the dry throat it doesn't work too well. "So Tom will then have told Radio Jas who let's face it will have told the _whole_ bloody world and so really they've known all this time and I-"

"No... no!" Robbie yells and his is actually loud so it makes me jump. "I'm sorry," he says and rubs his head again before standing up and walking over to me. "Tom didn't tell anyone, _anyone_. Not even Jas," he adds. Probably due to the look on my face.

I sigh and shake my head. I don't really know what for but it felt like the right thing to do.

I can't believe he's coming. Of course I don't realise I've said this out loud but then Robbie says, "Well I guess he had to come sometime."

I look to Robbie and say, "But why now? Things are good now."

He shrugs, "You've got to face it you know. Bryony will learn everything at some point."

"She'll judge me. She's not like me. She's... collected and quite normal in fact. What will she think?"

Robbie starts laughing then which I don't think is very appropriate. Isn't he meant to make me feel better right now? He grabs my hand which takes me by surprise and sort of places it in both of his.

"Gee trust me, Bry is _not_ normal. She's your daughter for god's sake."

I frown. Did he just insult me? Me _and_ Bry? "That's not very-" I begin but Robbie cuts me off.

"Bry is an amazing girl. And he will understand anything that you have to tell her. But _you_ should tell her. You owe her that."

I nod and this time at least I know why I'm nodding. Robbie's right about Bry and pretty much everything. Grr he's so smart it's annoying. I should definitely biff him for this.

Robbie squeezes the hand he's holding and then pulls me into a hug. It's nice but rather... intimate? Yes this time that's definitely the right word.

"Erm Robbie..." I say quietly and he moves away in a flash looking rather upset with himself.

"I'm sorry," he apologises. "I... old habits die hard you know," he tries to joke and smile but it's wavering. Poor Robbie.

And it makes me feel worse than anything so I go to him this time and hug him for a bit longer. It makes us both feel better I think.

"Thank you for... just thanks." I say.

"You're welcome Gee."

Then I heard someone come in. Shit.

**Libby**

My habits are basically all bad ones. I'll admit that. I'm clumsy, I'm a coward, I worry too much, I bite my nails, I'm really shy... there's a lot more but I really don't want one of my habits to be 'boring people to death'. Although it wouldn't surprise me.

I am possibly one of the most boring people to walk the planet. Especially next to Gee. She seems to always have something going on – some party, something planned, some excited thing in her life. There's always something for her to talk, gossip and muse about with either me or Jas or anyone.

And I guess considering all this I shouldn't really be _too_ surprised to find Robbie and Gee in her kitchen hugging when I barge into the house to see my sister.

Let me refresh because 1) I don't normally 'barge' anywhere and 2) ok there isn't a number two but it sounds so much better than just the one bullet point.

I was round at my friend Charlotte's place this morning. We were just talking about random things; movies we want to see, books we've read, (not usual topics I know but hopefully by now you've realised I'm not exactly normal for an eighteen year-old) birthdays coming up, events, and then came the dreaded topic... university. Of course it had to come up at some point seeing as I was there for around three hours and hot chocolate cannot be drunk without a good chat.

But it was still majorly depressing because Charlotte was just so happy and excited about going to uni in Durham. That's all she could talk about and it was driving me crazy. I can't believe that my friends, the people who should know me the best, don't even realise how nervous I am about uni. I mean, they know that I'm nervous, but they don't seem to register just _how_ nervous.

Because I really am freaking out right now. Izzy and Ellie and Charlotte are all leaving on Friday and we won't see each other in... god knows how many weeks. Who will I talk to? Who will I moan to? I will I go to when I want to escape the mad place that is my own house?

Well I guess I shouldn't bother with that bit too much because in truth I will only be alone for three days untilI go down to Nottingham on Monday. Remember, me going late to Uni? So everyone will have already made friends and I'll be left out. As if I'm not socially handicapped enough already with my abysmal greeting skills.

When Charlotte finally did stop going on about how great Uni life is going to be we decided to ring up the other two and arrange a time to meet up tomorrow as a final goodbye thing. I'm busy Thursday because I have to help Jas move into Gee's house and then I have to watch over Bryony that night because it's Jas' hen party. The hen party I was invited to but politely declined because parties scare me. Especially when they're organised by Gee. Plus things worked out fine anyway because now they have a babysitter.

So tomorrow me, Ellie, Charlotte and Izzy are meeting at Ellie's for a 'celebration' before we go our separate ways. I don't really think its cause for 'celebration'. More like constant worry and scariness in my case. But I'll pretend to be excited because otherwise I'll ruin the mood for the others. And I want it to be a happy send off if a send off is what it must be.

As soon as I left Charlotte's I ran straight to Gee's house. Well of course I didn't actually _run_ but that was just to illustrate how urgent I was. That's the reason I didn't knock or even falter when I "barged" into Gee's house. And I had to go to her because she's the only one who I officially told about my doubts about Uni.

I knew she'd be in the kitchen (with the food) so I didn't even bother to call her name to find her I just ran straight in.

And found her hugging Robbie. Rather... intimately as well. Because clearly there's not enough on everyone's place right now.

They heard me come in because straight away Gee pulled back like Robbie had electrocuted her or something.

"I err... we erm... hi Libs!" She said after that momentary stutter.

I eyed her curiously, "Hello Georiga," I inclined my head towards Robbie. "Robbie."

He smiled up at me. I like Robbie. Obviously we're not exactly close or anything. In fact I think (if Gee's retellings are true) the first time we "met" I talked matters of poo. Still... I like him; he's one of the more sensible people Gee knows.

"Are you erm," Robbie coughed, "Are you ok? It's been a while."

I nodded, "Yeah it has. I'm... I'm good thank-you. Are you?" God small talk is awkward.

"I am yes. Very." He said, "I was just... I was leaving." Robbie waved a goodbye to me and then gave a sort of 'you get that?' look. Hmm I wonder what that's about. Of course if this was any one else I would stay well and truly out of it because it's none of my business and I'm not a nosy person.

But it is Gee. And I can tell from the look on her face she wants me to give her a reason to talk about it or something so I sigh and say, "So... Robbie's home."

Georgia nods frantically and goes to sit down at the kitchen table. I walk over and sit opposite her.

"Yeah," I say, "That's new."

She shrugs, "Yeah. He's...," then she smiles a really... _affectionate_ smile. I didn't even know she _had_ that emotion. Wow. "He's really nice."

"What's up Gee?" I ask her right out because this is confusing me.

Georgia looks up and sighs, "You remember that other day when I came to your room and said that my old boyfriend Dave was coming to the wedding?"

I nod. That was when I mentioned the Uni stuff as well.

"Well _that's_ what's up." Georgia says and I frown.

Why wouldn't want him to come? Or rather why is she so flustered about him coming? I know Robbie's really great and everything but why would this Dave make Georgia worry so much that he has to console her.

Unless of course he is the person who everybody (and by that I mean me, my parents, Jas and Tom) wants to know about. As in the Bryony's dad. Or maybe I'm just jumping to conclusions.

And come to think of it I'm fairly certain people like Jas and Tom know already even if Georgia hasn't exactly told them. I mean, they were there around her when she got pregnant – surely they knew who she was sleeping with at the time. I suppose it could have been Dave. Georgia never really said when they went out so it could have been at that time.

I won't ask her though. I won't pry. She'll tell me when she's ready. Or when she wants to.

"I'm sure everything will be great," I say trying to be positive and cheer Gee up. She does that for me a lot.

She laughs when I say it though and replies with; "Yeah right. Big G is so trying to make everything go ballisticimus."

I'm not even going to pretend like I understand what she just said so I just look at her with a confused expression on my face. Gee laughs again but it's a happier laugh rather than an ironic laugh.

"Are you still nervous about Nottingham?" Georgia asks me. Probably to get the attention away from her – which is strange because normally it's the other way around.

I nod though because it's the truth and I don't lie. And that's not just because I'm an awful liar – although I suppose it does contribute to a bit of the reason.

"If it helps my life is much more sucky right now," Gee says, "or at least it will be in exactly five days when Dave turns up."

"You know that doesn't really help actually," I say and rest my head on my hands, "I don't like to see you worrying about stuff like this," I tell her, "it's all so... normal. You're scaring me."

Gee looks up at me and smiles. And this is nice. Right now.

But of course it'll go awkward soon so I move things on swiftly, "When's Bryony home?"

Georgia checks her wrist for a watch that isn't there then looks to the clock on the wall before saying. "Pretty soon I expect. School finishes now."

**Bryony**

Callum isn't talking to me. Which is as strange as it is annoying. Callum is _always _talking to me. I don't think we've fallen out ever. And I didn't even do anything wrong. Ish.

Okay so I may have ever so slightly pushed Nathan into a river while we were out in the fields on Sunday but I really can't be blamed for my actions. Nathan wasn't supposed to be there! Cal didn't tell me he was coming just like with the silly badminton thing the day before. God it's all so messed up. This isn't supposed to be happening. It's meant to be me and Cal not _Nathan_ and Cal. That's just not right.

And now it's after school and I'm waiting for Cal. We've walked home together since year 7 but yesterday he left without me. I'm hoping he won't today. It'd be pretty hard for him to "miss" me as well seeing as I am stood at the school gates. I took a toilet break five minutes early so I could get out. The teachers won't notice.

Callum is walking this way. That's good. Well apart from the fact that he's acting as though he hasn't seen me. I feel like jumping up and down and waving my arm. It's the sort of thing Gee would do. But I really don't think it'd work in this situation.

"Cal!" I said perhaps a tad too loud as he is only about 5 metres away now as he walks past me onto the path. Ok this avoiding me thing is really annoying.

"Callum Cresswell stop ignoring me!" I yelled grabbing his arm so he's now facing me. He doesn't look happy. He looks the opposite of happy. He looks angry. Ouch.

"I don't want to talk to you Bry." He said and I think it was through clenched teeth.

"Why not? Because of Nathan? I can't believe you're letting _him_ get in the middle of us? We promised each other we wouldn't let anyone come between us!"

Callum stopped. That's good. But he still doesn't look any happier. "Nathan isn't the one that's _come between us_." Ouch I don't like the way he said that. "It's you! And the sooner you realise that the better. I should be allowed to have other friends Bry."

"I don't care whether you have other friends or not," I yelled, "Just why does it have to be Nathan? He's horrible and arrogant and rich and- "

Cal laughed. Not a nice laugh, a horrible, you're-talking-bullshit laugh. I don't like it. "Are you saying he's those things because he's rich?" Oh no. "Is that what you think of me?" I opened my mouth to argue but he beat me to it, "It's got nothing to do with Nathan and you know it. This is just an old habit of yours." Habit? What habit? I don't have any habit of any sort.

"What are you talking about?" I asked to which Cal raised his eyebrows sardonically.

"Every time I get closer to someone, every time _you_ get closer to someone you push them away because you get uncomfortable when it's something unknown."

What? That's a lie. I am very adaptable to change. I think...

"You don't like it when it's more than just the two of us. We're thirteen Bry, it's quite common to have other friends."

"But..." I stuttered, "But I... I don't need anyone else."

Cal stepped back and an apologetic expression appeared on his face. "Maybe I do."

Then he left. He just turned and walked away down the road. Away from me. I stood there like a completely numb and pathetic lemon. Was what Callum said true? About that habit of mine? I've never thought about it before. When I think about my habits I think about the good stuff. Like how I don't need to be a sheep like other girls and spend hours on make-up and my hair; like how I love playing sports and getting dirty doesn't bother me; like how I don't care what anyone thinks of me.

But that last one isn't all true I guess. Because I care what Cal thinks of me. And right now he doesn't think too highly of me apparently. Is it really a subconscious habit of mine to try and push everyone away bar us? I just figured the reason I didn't have any girl friends was because they are all stuck up, pretentious tarts who don't want to do anything for fear of chipping a finger nail.

And Nathan, I know exactly why I don't want to be his friend. He's obnoxious and he's mean and he's... _here_.

He's walking towards me. Why is he walking towards me? Why is he here?

Oh no wait he does go to this school and the bell did go around 5 minutes ago. I guess he just got out of class late. There's not really anyone else here.

I frowned at him. I thought maybe that would scare him off but alas it didn't. And he looks like he's frowning himself.

Nathan stopped directly in front of me and he's looking at me like I'm the devil or something. "I heard you." Was all he said.

I waited for him to continue but he didn't. This is the part where I would normally (on a good day) have a mature and civil conversation about what he means instead of the comment I _did_ make. "You shouldn't have been listening to other people's conversations. Ever heard of private matters?"

His face didn't change. I don't think he even blinked. What is he made of stone?

"You think you know me _Bryony_?"

What? "What?" I said slightly (ok really) confused. "What are you talking about?"

"I heard what you said about me. What you think of me."

"Oh," I said. This is weird. Every time we've had a verbal or ever so slightly physical fight (i.e. me pushing him in the water) in the past he's been light-hearted about it. This is... different.

"You know nothing about me ok," he growled, "_nothing_. So maybe in the future you'll think twice before judging people."

Then he left. In exactly the same way Callum had done about two minutes earlier. Well ok, maybe with a bit more anger. Cal seemed a bit sad when he had gone. But Nathan... he's just angry. I think.

Should I apologise? I don't think that I want to because I really don't like him except there's this really weird feeling in my stomach and I don't like that even more.

I started to run in order to catch up with him so I could at least say sorry but just as I got there he spun round to face me. He's definitely spooky like that.

"And for the record," he said and I could see his knuckles clenched beside him, "I don't like you very much either right now. I think it's _you_ that's the arrogant one and too obsessed with your own little world and friends to see anything on the outside. Why don't you try opening your eyes once in a while eh? You're just a stupid little –"

Nathan stopped talking. Very suddenly. Which is annoying because despite the fact that my eyes are now filled with water I quite want to hear what he has to say. What he thinks I am.

I can't believe I'm nearly crying. I can't believe Nathan just said all that stuff. That's all the stuff I think about _him_. I can't... I can't believe... why did he say that?

Down by the river. This is where I come to think. It's mine and Cal's place. Our own secret place. Which is why I was so annoyed when he brought Nathan here on Sunday.

I can't stop thinking about what Nathan said to me. Because if it is true (although obviously there's a high chance it isn't) then is means that I've somehow become all the things I never wanted to be and all the things I hate. I don't know how any of this happened. Things are screwed up.

Stupid Cal, stupid Nate, stupid me, stupid _habits_.

**Robbie**

It seems I have some rather unfortunate habits.

I think I'm doing ok, fine, good. I think I've moved on and have another life and everything is different and fresh and new and exciting.

And then I see her again. Both of them. And in that split second my whole "new" life collapses and I'm back in the same place I was all those years ago. Well, maybe not exactly the same place as Bryony wasn't around then. But I go back. And there's something inside of me that urges me that _this_ is where I want to be. Around people like this.

So I went to see Georgia today. Unfortunately Bry wasn't there but I'm sure I'll catch up with her sooner or later. I love to spend time with her. She's really a special kid; I could only wish to spend more time with her other than the limited amount we've had in the past. Although that has only been due to my work circumstances and all the travelling I do.

And Gee is worried out her mind about Dave. She should have spoken to him many, many years ago of course but after what happened I guess neither of them had the guts to be the first one to talk. Not that I have much room for that. Talking, I mean. If it wasn't for me... well things wouldn't exactly but easy but they'd be _easier_ at least.

But again, that's just another bad habit of mine. I try to be smart and head wise and sensible. It's almost ironic that I end up in the stickiest of situations when you think about it. But there's nothing I can do about any of that now I guess.

I'm so confused. There's something about Georgia Nicolson that draws me to her. I couldn't stay away if I tried. And Bryony, she's just the same. I feel so much love for them it's unreal. I only wish them happiness.

But that's not the problem. I know that I love Bryony and Georgia. The thing that's troubling me is in what _way_ I love Gee. Obviously there's something there from our past that is hard to forget; especially for me. But still, maybe it's just friend love? Or protective love? I care about her so much, I just want to make sure she's ok for the future.

(I have a habit of doing that – stepping in and trying to take sort things when I care about something. I've done it before and I'll probably do it again. Repeatedly.)

But then there's the chance that actually I _do_ love Georgia. And in _that_ way. Maybe when I look at her I imagine that it's us together raising Bry and tackling problems that come our way. And when I think of this, and wonder if this is how I actually feel (because I really don't know) it makes me wonder something else.

It makes me wonder how our lives would have panned out if Georgia had accepted my marriage proposal all those years ago when I first found out she was pregnant.

**ahhhhh it's all getting great! :P**

**horns out ;)**


	5. Breakouts

**Ok last one before the wedding and it's the hen party!! ahhhh good stuff to comeeeee! :P**

**Breakouts**

**Thursday 24****th**** September**

**Jas**

I think I'm drunk. I've never been drunk before in my life so I can't be sure but it's definitely a reasonable guess. I feel lightheaded and slightly crazy – like anything can go. Which isn't like me at all. So drunk right?

It's all Georgia's fault. Of course. I should have known when Ellen, Mabs and Jools came pouring into the house with a load of alcohol under their arms. Obviously I was happy to see the rest of the Ace Gang, but I still should have been aware of what was coming.

We spent the first couple of hours catching up and telling each other what's gone on in our lives while we've not been together. And it's all quite interesting stuff I have to say. Ellen, shy Ellen is an estate agent. That's basically talking for a living – but she has lost her stutter so I guess she's pretty good at it. Jools and Mabs have stayed really close like me and Gee. They share a flat in London and work for the same business company or something. My head is fuzzy so it's hard to remember the exact details. I do recall Mabs saying she has a "toy boy" though – he's _twenty four_. Well actually Jools said it and Mabs went bright red but what the heck. She hasn't brought him up north with her though. Jools has a boyfriend who is coming up on the train on Saturday. But according to Mabs there are some commitment issues there. As long as they don't make a scene at my wedding I don't care.

I probably should mention that before, during and after this "catch up" session there was alcohol continually being drunk. I tried to refuse as much as possible but apparently it didn't work.

And Gee has this 'list' of things that we have to complete throughout the night. It's kind of weird. The first one was that we had to play truth or dare which I thought was a bit pre-school.

Well that was until I got dared to ring up my postman and claim that I have always loved him and think we should run away together while Tom isn't here. And it was strange because it actually felt _fun – _another indication that I am clearly drunk. Because thinking about it, it doesn't sound fun.

And I'll never be able to collect my mail by hand anymore.

Then Rosie cracked out a cd with all our dance tunes on so we had to teach Christina and Karen _all_ the Ace Gang dances which trust me, takes a long while when you have eight uncoordinated drunk women.

After some more things like that (which incidentally involved Rosie dying her hair orange) Gee decided it was time to go out. I knew I was feeling scared somewhere in me but luckily the alcohol seemed to drown out most of it. Besides that was what was next on the list so we had to do it.

First we went to a bar. Then each of us had to go and make out with some random guy that the other seven people chose. Of course Mabs and Rosie dived right in there and asked to go first. I felt sorry for Karen and Christina at this point because they really are quite reserved.

Or so I thought. They seemed to _love_ everything – they're still having a great time.

My turn came last. Of course. I think I've kissed about four people in total in my whole life. This was not something I wanted to do. Plus, I claimed it would be cheating. That didn't go down too well.

"Just do it Jazzy Spazzy no one's going to tell!" Georgia yelled at me; although that was probably because 1) we were both drunk and 2) the music was really loud.

"But I'll know and it'll haunt me every day for rest of my life." I told them trying to sit up straight. And failing.

"You need to let go more missy," Mabs said, "It's actually quite nice if you get a nice one."

I shook my head, "Nope nope nopppeeeee."

Then Georgia looked at all the others with raised eyebrows before saying, "Do you really think Hunky's not going to get any action tonight?"

My eyes went wide then and it took me about ten seconds to slam across the room so I could stick my tongue down this guys throat. Who turned out to be the _wrong_ guy instead of the one they pointed out. So I ended up snogging a fifty year old. Ew. Tom must never know.

I'm going to kill Georgia.

It's now just gone twelve and we're in the middle of town – we left the bar about fifteen minutes ago. Oh and town is deserted. Probably because all the shops are shut and the bars and clubs are at the other end of the street.

"Gee Gee why are we here?" I said with a smile on my face. I don't know what's wrong with me but I can't seem to stop smiling. How odd.

"Because Mrs Soon-to-be-Jennings," Gee began and I giggled at that, "You need something borrowed before you can hitch up."

I nodded my head quickly as we walked along but really I was a bit unsure about what she meant. We stopped around a minute later. In front of the Jenning's fruit and veg store. Oh no.

"Well this is where you're going to get it from" Georgia declared and everyone (including me because I no longer have control over my actions) went "ooooooo".

Gee said, "You have to get something from here because this is where you first glanced an eye on that fruity fitty."

Then we all nodded our heads like billio until I thought my mine was going to fall off my neck. Why was I even nodding?! I shouldn't be nodding!

"But-t-t Gee..." I said pawing at her arm. I leant up so I could whisper in her ear, "I don't have the key."

She looked at me. "So?"

Oh crap.

I can't believe I'm doing this. But I am. I'm breaking in to Tom's parent's store. I'm bad. Very very bad. I should have stopped after the first glass. And not downed the rest of the bottle. Even if it was on Gee's stupid list.

"What should I get?" I called to the others who are standing outside with their faces pressed against the glass so their noses are all turned up. They look funnnnny. Hahahahaha.

"What do you want?" Jools said. At least I think words came out. Unless she was just mouthing it through the glass. Hmmmm what do I want? That's a weird question isn't it? What fruit do I want? What veg do I want?

"I want... I want Tom!" I yelled and stomped my foot on the ground to illustrate my point.

They all giggled at me through the window. Idiots.

Then Mabs nudged Ellen who said, "Well what reminds you of Tom?"

I looked around. What does remind me of Tom? I don't know. Let me think...

"Mango!" I shouted happily, grabbing the nearest one to me.

"Why that?" Karen asked.

"Because..." I started, "because... it's hard and strong on the outside like my Hunky... but-t-t on the inside it's... cuddly and soft and sweet..."

Uh-oh everyone is laughing at me. And I appear to be hugging a mango. Hey, how did that get there?

"But Jassy," Georgia yelled to me, "Tom is a weakling you know that."

WHAT?! I spun round quickly and threw the mango at the window where it splattered over Georgia's face. Well, bar the window.

Oh no, Gee is coming into the other shop with everyone and... and she's picking up an orange and she's looking at me excitedly. Oh no.

"Did I ever tell you what the next number is Miss Spassy?"

I shook my head and backed up. "N-n-no you didn't."

She grinned, glanced down at the orange in her hand then up at me, "FOOD FIGHTTTTT!!!!"

Oh no.

**Bryony**

It's actually quite late now. Gone midnight at least. And so far my plan is working. The plan where I get Libby back to old self that is. And when I say old self I mean _old_ old self. Like in Gee's diaries when she was a crazy three year-old. I want to meet _that_ Libby. I think she doesn't know what she's missing being so serious and quiet all the time. I want her to let loose and be free for once. And she has done. And it's great.

If I thought I got on well with Libby before, it's _nothing_ to what we're like at this very moment. She is actually on top of the kitchen table dancing and singing at the top of her voice to "Dancing Queen" which I think is quite appropriate as it says in Gee's diaries that she used to like that one.

"Bry get up here!" She yells at me and I smile. This is how she should be. Happy. I haven't seen her like this in... ever.

"Coming!" I reply taking her hand as she helps me up to the table which I'm pretty sure will collapse if we jump around on it for long.

It wasn't easy of course. In fact for the first four hours all we did was sit and talk before watching films despite my complaining. It was ok in the end though. I ended up blurting out loads of stuff about everything that's happened since the start of school with Cal and Nathan. If she judged me for what I did (since I told her the whole truth – you can't lie to Libs) she didn't show it and I was grateful for that. I even told her about how I was really upset when Nathan said those things to me on Tuesday. I wanted to know what she thought that meant but I ended up cutting her up before she could answer and asked if she wanted to talk about anything because she did seem a bit on edge. But she said no and I respected that. And I said I was done discussing my silly "boy" problems if you would call it that and Libs respected that. She always does.

I thought I could get round the film issue by putting on Mamma Mia so we could at least go crazy to that. But apparently Libby had scheduled the Abba events later on.

When the film ended around half eleven I decided to really push out the boat. So I thought I'd push her limits and see if that does anything.

"Hey Libs," I had said, "do you remember dancing round in your undy-pants to everyone and running down the road?"

She looked at me, an appalled look on her face and said, "I never did that."

I shrugged, "Maybe you didn't. But it's the sort of thing _you_ would have done at that age."

Libby gave a small smile, "Lucky I'm not that girl anymore then isn't it?"

I frowned and ever so slightly pouted as I said, "Maybe it'd be fun to be that girl again."

She didn't look convinced. In fact she looked positively terrified.

"It'd be like acting. You know that I love acting," ok that's not exactly true but I knew it'd work because Libby is the sort of person who thinks she knows me best.

"I..I... you do?" She questioned.

"Oh yes. But I love acting the most when other people act with me."

She narrowed her eyes, "You're a little schemer you are. Why are you acting like this?"

I shrugged and went to put on some loud music so it'd be hard for her to hear me. I think "poker face" was the exact track.

"I may have read Gee's diaries!" I yelled dancing around the living room like a mad loon. And I probably looked even worse considering Libby was sat stationary on the sofa. At least at this point she made an effort to get up and try and stop me moving. She didn't succeed.

"What did you say? I didn't hear you!"

I jumped up and down a bit more, "I know how you were when you were little!"

I grabbed Libby's arms so she was half dancing as she said, "What? When I was little?"

I laughed and pulled her around so we were probably psycho dancing on the floor. "Yes! I want you to be that person again!"

Libby laughed and threw her head back. Is that a start? "I don't think that's a good idea Bry. I don't even remember that person."

"I can help you!" I pressed, making her dance more until my head was dizzy. And hopefully, (to go with my plan) hers.

We collapsed on the sofa and I looked over to her. "Just one night? Pleaseeeee. For me, before you go off to Uni. We never have fun."

I regretted saying that automatically though because Libby looked upset, "You don't think we have fun? We have fun. We can have fun!" Ok I take it back, that statement seemed to work. I don't know what went through Libby's mind at that moment but it was what I wanted.

I smiled devilishly at her, "Can I decide what we do?" I put my hand out, "Shake on it?"

Libby looked at my hand hesitantly and bit her lip, "Oh well... what do you- I don't know I mean..."

I raised my eyebrows, "Fun fun before you're off for a longgg time remember."

Libs frowned before grabbing my hand (with more force than I thought she had) and shaking it violently.

"Great!" I shouted, "This means you're in!" Then I yanked her off the sofa to dance once more. This time she really let go.

So mad dancing is all we've been doing for the past hour or so. And I actually can't believe how much energy Libby has. I thought she never did any sport? I didn't even think she left the house. Which gives me an idea...

"Let's go for a walk!" I tell Libs as I jump down from the table and pull her down with me.

"What now?" She says and I worry that she'll snap out of this happy mood so I quickly grab the keys, shove them in her pocket and push her towards the door.

We're outside before I smile at her and say, "Yes. Right now."

"Hmmm..." Libby starts looking back at the house that's now empty. I turn her around, "Where do you want to go?" She asks.

"The river," I decide because it's the first place I think of. Mine and Cal's place...

Libs stops me in my tracks and grins a grin that I can safely say I have _never_ seen on her before. "Race ya," she says before racing off down the street.

Ok that did not just happen. Libby is... so un-Libby like! This is... one of the most fun nights of my life! I can't believe I got Libby to open up this much. Somewhere inside me something is telling me it's because something is up with her. But I ignore it. Probably because I'm having such a good time and am predictably selfish at this moment in time.

I quickly laugh to myself before running off after Libby. I need to show her our exact spot anyway.

It took us little less than ten minutes to run there, or _here_ I should say as it is where we are now as we laugh our way down to the bank. Libby is sort of leaning on me to stay steady which is kind of funny if you think about it because technically she's meant to be the adult. But I guess not right now.

When we get fully down to the river edge I halt in my tracks though. It takes Libby a little longer to notice but when she does she stops suddenly too.

There's someone on the bank. In Cal and mine's spot. And of course, because God seriously wants to ruin my fun night, it's Nathan.

He had clearly heard us (no shock there considering we were rather loud) because he was sat with his legs hanging over the bank but he had turned his body to face us.

"Bryony," he says frowning which makes me frown and Libby to go suddenly confused.

"Nathan?" she questions looking at me to which I nod my head to confirm her suspicions.

"We were just... just... we'll go," I say quickly preparing to pull Libby away.

Nathan says "No I was just leaving anyway," but he doesn't make any attempt to move.

Then Libby, because she's apparently not done enough anti-Libby stuff tonight jumps in and says, "Actually I think I'll go." Then she gives me this weird look and nods her head in Nathan's direction.

Is she really going to leave me with Nathan in the woods at god knows what hour? This really _isn't_ like Libby. But there's something in the way she's looking at me that makes me curious to stay.

So I guess that is why I'm currently nodding slowly as Libby walks away. This is freaky. And I don't know what to do because when I turn back to Nathan I see that he is already looking away in the opposite direction.

And I do something I never thought I would do. I go and sit beside him, resisting the urge to push him in again. I think it was round about this spot...

"You're out late," he says, not as a critique like normal but just a simple statement.

"You too," I say quietly because for some reason I feel rude. It's like I'm invading his private space. Except it's _not_ his private space it's mine and Cal's. Well if I'm being annoyingly awkward I guess it actually belongs to the council who own the woods but whatever...

"Do you know why I come here?" he asks and I shake my head because I don't want to speak anymore. And also I'm quite curious as to why it appears he's been here more than this one time... and at such a late time...

"I come to think. To think and to be grateful. Grateful for what has happened to me, to who I am now and where I am, but still... I sometimes wonder..." I see him glance at me then turn away sharply, "I know you and Cal come here a lot. I found that out years ago. So I come at night." Ok that's seriously freaky. How did he know I wanted to know that?!

"I'm adopted. Did you know that?"

Oh crap does he want me to answer? "Erm... no," I mutter, "no... I didn't."

He opens his mouth to speak again. I have a feeling that what he has to tell me is going to make me feel very, very bad about myself and my behaviour over these last few weeks. "I guess Cal never told you then." I shake my head. "It happened a long time ago. I can't even remember my real parents."

Is that upsetting for him? "I'm sorry," I say because it seemed like the right thing to say.

"Don't be," ok maybe not. "It's not like anything can change. I like my adoptive parents," then Nathan gives me a sardonic laugh, "And no, it's not because they're _rich_ like you probably think. They are actually quite nice you know."

I nod my head in agreement even though I've never met them. But his story, it's starting to make my eyes fill with water and I don't even know why. There's just something about the way Nathan's talking – I can sense something bad is coming.

He pauses for a moment and I can't help but stare at his face that is incidentally shinning in what limited moonlight there is. "My parents didn't want me," Nathan says, turning and meeting my eyes for the first time. They're shining brightly and I feel dull and shallow in comparison, in all sense of the words. "Well my mum didn't want me, I never learnt anything about my dad."

I turn away from his eyes and stare out into the water, "But you want to know," I presume and I see Nathan nod his head from the corner of my eye. "Why?" I can't help but ask.

"Why wouldn't I? He's my dad. And from what I'm hoping he's a decent guy." Pause. "You... Cal said you don't know your dad."

I want to feel angry right now because I can't believe Cal would ever tell Nathan such things about me. But then I remember that I don't really care.

"No I don't." I say sternly and Nathan must catch the tone because then he says;

"And why don't _you_ want to?"

I glance back up his way again and try to think of an answer. "He left me. He doesn't want me." I shrug, "I don't need him. _We_ don't need him."

It's Nathan's turn to shrug and he does as he says, "maybe you just want to think that because he's not around."

I throw a nasty glare at him, "No it's because I don't want to know him. I don't see why you would want to know yours either."

Nathan holds my gaze, "I know you don't. That's exactly why we're here, arguing."

I turn my nose up, "You think this is arguing? You do not _know_ arguing."

Nathan laughs at my joke (was that a joke?) and I suddenly feel rather awkward. I'm not meant to make him laugh; we're meant to argue. This is so weird.

I don't want to think about my dad or Nathan's dad or any dad any longer so I stand up and shake off my pants, "Well I... erm... bye." I say and the weirdness just keeps on rising.

"Bye," Nathan says but he doesn't look round or anything. How rude.

I head back home then, hoping to find Libby on the way.

**Georgia**

This is going fab! Fabber than fab! It's a fab night in fab world in fab universe!!

We've just had the most marvy food fight ever! And yes, I did get splattered with fruit and veg but it was so worth it. I can't wait till afterwards as well because there's more to come! Oh yes my list of splenderosity does not end here oh no!

"Jassy!" I yelled weaving my way behind the orange counter. Crikey it's like a war zone in here. Although we do have Rosie with us so that's understandable.

"Jas!" I shouted touching her arm which made her go suddenly spazzy and she nearly knocked me over the head with a pineapple.

"What do you want? I'm winning!" She is really into this fruit throwing business. Maybe I should suggest it Tom. Unless they already do something of the sort... oh no, I do_ not _need to think about that. I could never ever be _that_ drunk.

"Time to go Jassy!" I told her tapping my arm. I don't have a watch there but I'm sure she'll get the nub and gist.

"But I'm _winning_," she moaned. Who knew she'd be even whinier with a bit of alcohol in her blood? Maybe it's a good think she doesn't drink normally.

"Off we go," I said gently (or not) dragging her towards the door by her arm. She may have got hit several times over on the way as I hid behind her but that was a risk I was willing to take.

"We're leaving now everyone!" I shouted once we were clear of the veggie business. No one looked too impressed although slightly drained. Food fights really take it out of you.

"Where are we going Gee Gee?" Jas asked as we took to walking down the streets. She's clinging onto my arm as well. I'm going to have to disinfect that later.

"We're going to a club," I told her honestly. I think alcohol brings out the best in me personally.

"Oooo a club," Jassy cooed, "what's that like?"

I giggled along with everyone, "You'll see when we get there!"

Sat scrunched up around a table. They said it was only for two people – we've got eight round it! People these days, they're just not as smart in their noggins as they used to be. Tut tut tut...

"She's up! She's up!" Ellen suddenly yelled in my ear. _Thanks_. I turned to where she was pointing and screaming like the mad and slightly deranged woman she is.

Hahahahahaha oh this is too good. Where is my camera?

Jas. Mrs Soon-To-Be-Jennings is doing _karaoke_. I think my life is complete. She's up on the stage right now ready to sing her heart out to... Wait what is she singing (or rather attempting to sing)?

Oh yes that's it – 'My Guy'. Isn't that some religious song? I didn't know Jassy was religious.

Well she's not a very good religious person is she? Singing about her only "guy" when we all saw her snog that guy earlier. And the fact that we told her to doesn't count in the slightest...

I love hen parties.

We're back at home now. But the party is not over oh no. It's back to the old school part of the list now. Which is exactly why Mabs is currently streaking all the way down the street and back again while we all hide behind the garden hedge. Vair vair amusant if I say so myself.

And Mabs really knows how to add to the hilariosity by singing "Oh we do like to be beside the seasideeeee" as she skips along. Hehe.

"Right your turn Jas!" Mabs said collapsing to the ground as she pulled on her clothes again. And rather in an un-orderly way as well – but I'm not gonna tell her that her pants are on back to front.

Jas is looking rather tipsy right now. I don't think she'll manage to even stand up never mind make it down the street.

Oh yes there she goes falling over. Someone's going to have a teensy head ache tomorrow. Tut tut.

But not me. Oh no. I am the perfectly sober one... I think. I don't remember drinking. Although actually I think I may have had a glass a bit ago... and there's a bottle in my hand! How did that get there? Very sneaky and rude of it to pop up without telling me. I will alert the village elders.

Do we have village elders? Like Call-Me-Harold. No Barny. Robert. Roger. Alister. ARNOLD! It was Call-me-Arnold. Ahh the good old days of setting people's scarves on fire in Call-me-Arnold's church. Sometimes things just write themselves.

Anyway where was I? Oh yes, Jassy Spassy was attempting to stand up. Fat Chance. This is a tad dull now so things will have to be spiced up hehehee...

"New game!" I yelled making several people jump and literally jump out their clothes. But only because they weren't fastened properly and vair vair small. I'm surrounded by a pack of cheeky minxes I am.

They all sat up excitedly and looked at me like I was the Queen which if I say so myself is a pretty accurate description.

"What is it what issss it?" they said. Or some of them did anyway.

I rubbed my chin and pretended to think up the amazing stuff on the spot when really I had pre-planned it with Robbie earlier.

"We're going on a treasure hunt!" I shouted, "A _guy_ treasure hunt." Haha they all looked even _more_ excited now. If that's possible. Which it is because they are. "Around this area now there's Hunky, Robbie and some other guys that are on Tom's stag due. Our mission girls, should we accept and we _will_ is to find them all and bring them back here where they will be destroyed."

Ellen gulped, "Really?"

Rosie then saved me a job by biffing her over the head and yelling, "No you twit. Now let's get to it!" Then out of NOWHERE she pulled EIGHT VIKING HORNS! Oh this is fabby. We all passed them round, put them on, stood up and prepared for battle.

Everyone lined up single file with moi at the front. We were just about to march off when Jools barked up, "Wait! Most of us have never seen these people before. How will we know who they are?"

I did that really clever and wise thing where people tap their nose with their finger before revealing tip top secret information. "Well my friend," I said, "All those in need of capturing are wearing zorro masks."

"Zorro masks?..." everyone started murmuring so I figured it was time we moved.

"Right then!" I yelled raising my arm to the sky, "Let the battle commence! CHARGEEEEEEEEEE!"

We are going to find them! We are going to win! We are going to find them and win! I'm searching the back streets with a slightly spastic Jassy and mad' hoc Rosie who is taking this alarmingly seriously. Mabs and Christina are searching the back woods and near the river and Ellen, Karen and Jools are doing the other side of town by the park.

I hope we find Hunky. Just so I can see Jassy Spassy go even more loopy because she said that they're not supposed to see each other till the wedding on Sunday. And apparently (according to her mushed up brain) the zorro mask will not stop this. Meh. She just needs to use a little imagination.

Anyway when I spoke with Robbie yesterday. Or is it two days ago now since really it's Friday morning? Ahh well... on Wednesday Robbie told me that they'd be around and about between two and four and that there'll be six of them to find. We have them outnumbered! Even better!

Jas keeps muttering, "Don't let Tom see me... don't let him see me... hide my face... close my eyes... jump behind the others..."

Then every few metres or so she has a "practise" and completely flips out and acts like a cat is strangling her. She reaches for her head and eyes and puts it near her kness and rolls behind us. Quite amusing to watch actually. Rosie doesn't think so though.

"Will you quit it woman!" she yelled, "we need to focus on finding enemy troops!"

Jas stood up straight (for now) and pointed her finger at Ro Ro though it was swinging around slightly. "Silly Swwilly girl," she garbled, "Tom isn't the ENEEmyyy. Tom iss... Tomss isss... Tomss iss..."

"HERE!" I yelled suddenly, "I SEE HIM I SEE HIM!"

Jas of course had a panic attack and did her hiding and rolling before getting up and charging down the road after me and Rosie who were running after Tom.

"You can run but you CAN'T HIDE!" Rosie called.

This is so good. We're gonna get them all! I wish this night would never ever ever end!

**Libby**

This is bad. This is very bad. I think I've lost my sister's daughter. My niece. Bryony. And I don't think, I _know_. This is all my fault. I can't believe I lost a thirteen year old at some ridiculous time in the morning. I can never go home. I can never show my face again. Ever.

Ok I need to just stop and cool off. Just stop. Just breathe. Calm down.

It doesn't help that its pitch black out here. I need some light. This is why I never "have fun" as Bryony was saying before. This is why I never go out. This is why I don't "let loose". This is why I don't like the outdoors.

I should never have let Bryony talk me into coming outside. I should have said no at the mad dancing. This will never happen again. I will go back to being an inside hermit. If Georgia lets me live that is.

This is spooky. And I don't like it. Not one bit. I've managed to find my way to the river. I nearly managed to find my way _into_ the river but thankfully found some nearby shrubs to grab and pull myself back up. It was not fun sliding down the muddy bank. I'm now covered in dirt and mud and have horrible things in my hair. I can't believe Bryony likes this place.

I step through some more plants and things, now officially aware that I have lost any path that is around here. However, I do see someone sat near the river up ahead and luckily I'm able to remember him as Bryony's not-so friend, Nathan.

His eyes go slightly wide as he sees me approach, which is not altogether surprising considering the state I'm in. I probably look like a confused Stig of the Dump.

"Excuse me," I say in a way that would be more appropriate if I didn't already have his attention. But I do. And I don't blame him in the slightest for staring at me. He nods his head in acknowledgement anyway so I carry on, "Have you seen-" I stop myself. Of course he's seen Bryony he was with her a bit ago. "Do you know where Bryony went?" I say, trying desperately to keep my voice casual and not full of desperation like the rest of me.

Nathan shakes his head, "I... She left quite suddenly a while ago." He says quietly and I take a step closer so it's easier to hear him.

"And you don't know where she went?" I ask.

Nathan shrugs, "I presumed she was going to find you... I guess I was wrong."

I throw my hands to my face then, this time not attempting to pretend like nothing is wrong.

"Do you want some help?" Nathan says.

"For what?" I ask suddenly.

"To find her," he says simply, although doesn't move from his spot on the bank. I wonder how long he's been sat there. And at this silly time in the night-morning, in the morning.

"Erm... I... err," what am I doing? I don't know this boy. He could be weird, untrustworthy... but I was desperate. And very worried. "Ok," I continue, "How about you go that way," I motion with my hand, "and I'll search over here."

Nathan nods silently and finally moves to get up. He just gets up and straight away moves off so I shout, "Thanks" after him. Either he doesn't hear or chooses to ignore it though because he doesn't acknowledge it, which I think is a bit rude but I'm in no circumstances to judge right now.

I head off looking in the opposite direction but it just feels like I'm retracing my steps. Probably because that's exactly what I am doing. And it's getting me nowhere.

I decided to turn off to my right so I'm now facing away from the river and walking more towards civilisation. Or so I like to think.

It's about thirty or so metres later that I hear voices, which is odd in itself considering the time. I try to ignore them and walk quicker but it seems that either I'm walking towards them or they're heading towards me. Either way it's not good. I keep on going though because I figure I have a pretty good chance of hitting the road before I meet any of the people who are now shouting and yelling in quite excitable voices.

I'm wrong though because next thing I know I'm falling over something, or as I now realise, some_one_. He's definitely male, tall and as I peer up from the ground I see he's wearing some sort of mask over his face. Brilliant, I've bumped into a robber.

"Erm... sorry," he says which surprises me because I didn't know robbers were polite and also his voice seems definitely put on, like he's disguising his real one.

"It's... ok," I stutter as I try to get to my feet and oddly enough I feel grateful when the masked man helps me up.

I press myself back against a near tree for support as well as security. But it's weird; I don't feel scared anymore. I just seem to know (or delude myself) that this person isn't going to hurt me. I hope I'm right because I'm certainly an easy target.

"Thanks," I mummer and move my head to look down where the guy's hand is still on my waist. From the corner of my eye I see him look down at it also. And then he steps closer and looks at me funny. At least this is my assumption because I can't actually see for the mask. We seem to stare at each other for ages and I wonder if he's ever going to move... and if I even want him to.

I can't tell the colour of his eyes due to the darkness but they're intense; definitely intense. Is it suddenly hot out here or something? I feel uncomfortably warm. And I can't stop staring at those eyes now. What is happening to me? I feel... I feel like before. Like Bry wanted me to feel. Free...

I don't stop him as the guy moves his head down to kiss me. Well this is what I presume he's aiming to do even if he does pause millimetres from my mouth.

This annoys me. And I realise I want him to kiss. _Really_ want him to. I don't think I've ever wanted anything so bad and it makes me shiver violently. But still he doesn't continue his actions. What's he waiting for? Me to say no? To push him away?

I do something really un-me like then. I lean forward and timidly push my lips against his. I don't know why but in the last eight hours I've done more un-me stuff than I will probably ever do in a lifetime so I'll just include it in with that and blame Bry. Maybe she put something in my drink.

I feel strangely confident (which is something I can safely say I've _never_ felt around boys). And it helps enormously when he reacts to my kiss and seems to press into me. But I don't feel claustrophobic or powerless like I thought I would. It feels amazing and I even feel the need to push my arms up his chest (which is _solid_) and around his neck. I can't believe I'm doing this but I don't think I want to be anywhere else right now.

When he breaks away and ends the kiss I feel like pouting in annoyance. Even if it lasted forever, to me that kiss was way too short (although noticeably longer than any of my previous kisses). He rests his forehead on mine and I see that his lips are still so close to mine.

I'm in half a mind to initiate another kiss but then the guy says, "Erm..."

And the fake voice is gone. And even from that one word I know it's someone I know. And it makes me feel infuriated yet excited at the same time.

Timidly and with shaking hands I move them up to the edges of his mask. He tenses then as he realises what I'm about to do but luckily he doesn't try and stop me. This could mean several things – that he wants me to know who he is, that he doesn't really care or that he can't see who I am in the darkness so won't think it'll matter.

I pull the mask off seconds later and his stance doesn't change. And from the way he's looking at me I know it was option number three – he doesn't know who I am. He doesn't recognise me like this and it makes me feel funny inside.

But I know who he is. And it's for this reason that I slide away as quickly as I can and run away from him and towards the road. I can't believe it. I can't believe who it was. I can't believe he didn't recognise me. And I can't believe he was even kissing anyway as weird as that seems. I guess I was under the impression that he liked someone else...

In fact I was certain that Robbie liked my sister.

**Yes I know what you're all thinking... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH**

**but don't worry everything will sort itself out... or will it?**

**keep all your ponderings coming in... I love reading the Dave/Robbie/Dave/Robbie-ness :P**

**horns out ;)**


	6. Hesitations Part 1

**Heyyy! the wedding chapter is here and it's a two-parted (as hopefully you've guessed by the title)...**

**enjoy readinggggg...**

**horns out ;)**

**Hesitations. Part 1**

**Sunday 27****th**** September**

**Gee**

Well this is weird. The wedding starts in half an hour and I'm not numb or shaky or talking hysterically even though I'll be seeing Dave for the first time in... Fourteen years. But I think that's because instead I'm scared shitless. Crikey.

Jas is all ready to go. And by that I mean her dress (I checked it was white several times) is on, hair is done & makeup just having the finishing touches now. We'll have to leave in a bit for the Church where everyone should be all waiting in either the seats or at the front if you're "in" the wedding. You know people like the best man, the groom, no one too important...

The hen party went fabbytastic. We caught _all_ the guys – Tom, Robbie, all the other people that I have still not learnt the names of. But hey, now I don't have to! Me and Rosie tackled Tom to the ground after spotting him that time. He went down like a girl. Or worse – like Jas. Who was, at that point rocking back and forth in a ball on the floor. And yet surprisingly after catching Tom she went all psycho Spazzy and got stuck in.

In fact come to think of it, it was her alone that took down two lads at once. Super Spazzy Jazzy! Crikey.

Jas isn't quite as fun this morning though. She's practically screamed at every one of us at least three times. How nice. Me, Rosie, Christina and Karen are bridesmaids. Well I'm the Maid of Honour but a bridesmaid as well duh.

We're all wearing the same dress (duh) – it's peach, quite tight fitting and cuts just below the knee. Quite nice I have to say, although I-

"Time to go!" Rosie barked from the doorway. Oh shit. I looked over to Jas who seems confused as to whether she should look excited or nervous. It's kind of a mixture of both I guess. I just don't know if I'm ready.

Oh my giddy god oh my giddy god I just saw DAVE! Only for like half a second because I peeped in the door and up to the front of the church where Tom etc is stood but AHHHH I saw him. I think my non-talking hysterically phase has passed.

He's taller than I remember. And a tad broader and his pale skin in unusually brown too... (maybe he has been abroad recently like those rumours I heard) but his hair is the same brown messiness, of course. Oh lord I can't believe this is actually going to happen. I am actually going to have to see him and talk to him and stuff. Oh my god oh my giddy god.

"Georgia," someone said and I glanced round to see Jas staring at me like I'm stupid. Which I'm not by the way.

"What?" I asked and she raised her eyebrows at me until I got biffed from Rosie.

"Bryony has gone you twit it's your go."

Ahh. Ok. Time to go... Right... I can do this. Yes I can. Just walk. One foot. Then the other. Perfect.

Walking down the aisle with the other bridesmaids behind me. This is so weird. I'm not looking at Dave or the crowd or Tom or anyone I'm just walking forward. And trying not to trip up which is soooo harder than it seems.

Near the front and I can see Dave staring at me. Even though I'm not looking at him. No I won't. I won't. I just need to make it to my position.

Yes yes and thrice yes!! I am perfectly aligned (on the cross that Jas marked out for me) and the wedding is ready to commence! In fact right now they're going over some boring stuff that the "priest" is gabbling about. Tell me what is the point of him asking Tom if he "will take Jassy to be his wife"? It's pretty obvious that Po and Hunky love each other. Duh. For a religious man he's not so bright. Big G would be ashamed.

Robbie keeps sending me encouraging smiles. I wonder if I'm shaking or something? It's nice of Robbie though. Even if I do have to keep looking away quickly because Dave is stood right next to him and I don't need him to see _that_.

Oh it's over! Finally. Everyone looks vair groovy and all but this wedding business is a rather boring fandango. I think I've been in here like two hours! But still the hymns were surprisingly fabby! Especially when Rosie managed to sneak her Viking Horns on her head as we barbled out, "All things bright and beautiful".

Well that was until Jassy Spassy sent Rosie a glare that practically scared the horns off her head. I guess 'Viking' is not among the many, _many _themes involved in this wedding. Hey ho.

We're all outside now on the grassy bit round the Church. Thankfully it's not raining like normal merry old England but it's still not that warm. My arms are in fact rather chilly. Jas and Tom and everyone are having wedding piccys done in the big arch doorway. I think I've done mine though. I had one with Jas – one with me, Jas and all the bridesmaids – one with me, Jas, Tom and Robbie – one with me and Robbie (Maid of Honour and Best Man) – one with me, Jas and Bryony - and one with me, Jas, Tom, Robbie, the bridesmaids, the groomsmen and Bryony. What can I say, the camera must love me.

The last picture with everyone in had the potential to be awkward because Dave was in it also but I clung to Jas' arm and Bryony's hand like glue. Luckily he was put on the other side.

I've just seen Robbie and Bry catching up so I'm heading over to them while Po and Hunky carry on the photographing – and I'm moving away from Dave. They seem to be laughing about something which is normal; no doubt Robbie told her some story about what happened while he was one the road. She loves those ones.

"Hey!" I say overly loud as I get near so they notice me early. Bry finishes of laughing as she steps back to let me in the rather small circle they've formed.

Robbie grins at me, "So how are you finding the wedding?"

I purse my lips together, "...great?" I question and they both laugh at once. Ok I know I'm funny but that was a slight overreaction.

I raise my eyebrows at them both, "What's up?"

Bryony waves her hand, "Nothing, nothing" then she smile up at Robbie and they laugh again. Meh.

Robbie looks at me pointedly though tries to purposely hide his face from Bryony. And of course she's totally aware of this. "How are you doing?" Robbie asks. He says it normally but his eyes tell a different story.

I try and hold a frown because Robbie is talking so miserably in front of Bry but it doesn't last. "I'm fine," I say quietly and I see Bry's eyes narrowing from the corner of mine.

Robbie gives a short nod, "Ok," then the spins back to Bry who is now staring at me curiously. Fantastic. Stupid Robbie. "So what are you wearing to the reception?" he asks Bry who actually snorts.

"Clothes?" She mocks, her attention back to Robbie, "you're actually going to talk to me about clothes?"

Robbie laughs and brushes the top of her hair with his hand, "I guess not then," and Bry smiles up at him. I join in with the laughter as well because maybe it'll help me forget about Dave who is closer to me now than he has been in such a long time.

"Well do you reckon Gee'll let me wear my trackies?" Bry smirks at Robbie, avoiding my eye.

I raise my eyebrows at her and hold my hands up dramatically, "Hey that's fine with me. In fact I'd quite like to see the look on old Owly's face when you turn up dressed in them."

Bry's smile fails as I declare victory. "Oh yeah," I say, "you can't catch me out," I grin and Bry does back.

For the next few minutes me and Bry filled Robbie in on stuff that's been happening while he's been gone... which is... around two or three years I think since his last visit. And shock horror it wasn't exactly interesting. In fact we had nothing in the slightest to tell him. Bry just answered questions Robbie had about high school and friends and stuff. Obviously she went a bit quiet at that point what with the little tiff she's having with Cal. I really do need to ask her about that...

"That guy," Bryony suddenly says interrupting Robbie, "he reminds me of someone," she points straight forward so me and Robbie have to turn around to see who she's looking at.

Of course, it just has to be the person that I don't want it to be but no surprise it _is_ that person because as we all know Big G likes to mess with my shambles of a life.

So yes, the person Bry is talking about is Dave. And he's heading our way. Fab.

**Bry**

This wedding stuff is weird. I can't decide whether I like it or not. I mean it's all really quite spectacular and amazing and special but on the other hand... I'm the bloody flower girl. Yes that's right, I actually had to throw bloody petals as I walked down the aisle while people stared at me like I was a Barbie doll. Ergh I hate it.

But of course I had to do it. Because it was Jas asking. And her and Gee would have both physically killed me if I had refused. And I do quite like being alive actually.

My dress had the potential to be nice but it was totally ruined by a sort of net thing around the skirt. I could have been trying to catch flies not play a part in a wedding. How odd. And I don't do the "girl who should be awwwwed" at person. That's not me. It's a bloody miracle I didn't punch any one of the old grannies who kept wanting to pinch my cheeks. But like I said; weird.

The ceremony was made slightly more amusing by Gee's old friend Sven who was sat at the front and kept interrupting the priest guy every so often. Jas' face looked murderous. Good times. I haven't seen Jas yet actually, apart from when we were all having photos. And this weird guy kept staring at me.

And I think I know who he is. I think it's the funny guy from Gee's old diaries but I can't be too sure since I've never actually seen a picture or anything. What was his name? Dan? Dave? Dave I think. That's right.

But I don't know why he was staring at me. That's very rude in my opinion. You don't just stare blank out at someone. I mean, if you're really intrigued by a person you should take quick glances at them when they don't notice. This guy Dave was doing it all wrong. Silly, silly boy. Or man. Whatever.

I haven't see Callum since school on Thursday. I didn't go on Friday since I didn't get to bed till late. Plus Georgia didn't wake up till gone midday anyway so she couldn't exactly turn around and tell me off for it. But Gee's loose like that. And in occasions like this it's very useful.

I really wish Callum would be friends with me again. I think... I think now that I had that talk with Nathan maybe I can stand to be around him more. Not necessarily _best_ friends or anything but I could probably at least put up with him without having to resort to pushing him in the river.

So then Cal will hopefully forgive me and everything can go back to normal. Well, with the addition of Nate every so often. Hold on, did I just call him _Nate_? Oh lord, something is really up with me. But I guess I can respect him more now that I know a bit about him.

Even if I don't agree with him. And I don't. I just don't feel the need that he does to find and meet my dad. So what if he's blood related to me? He ditched Gee and clearly didn't want me. I mean, he's not been in my life before so why should I need him now? Answer: I don't.

Me and Robbie are talking outside the Church now since the photographer people don't need us anymore. I had to have a picture on my own, _throwing_ flowers in the air, looking up at them, smiling at the camera and bending one knee. Do I bloody look like a model? _Hello?_

I'll add that to the negative side of the wedding.

Oh the other hand, Robbie is definitely a plus to this wedding scene. I haven't seen him in so long and it's always fun to talk to him. He makes me laugh all the time.

"So flower girl eh?" Robbie said when he first came over to me, "wouldn't have taken you for the type," he nudged my shoulder.

I frowned at him, albeit not for very long. Robbie's like Libby – you just can't be mad at him. "They made me do it," I told him in my defence to which he grinned.

"You know what, I can totally believe that. Jas was it?"

I nodded and Robbie laughed. "Sounds about right."

"Best man eh?" I said repeating Robbie's own actions towards him.

He grinned and stood up all tall and proud, "That's me. Best, best man ever."

I raised my eyebrows at him, "You're Tom's _only_ best man ever."

Robbie smirked, "Sshhhh."

We talked for a bit after that about general stuff although always ended up veering back to the wedding. How surprising.

"So married life for Tom and Jas," Robbie mused, "you planning on hitching up anytime soon? Any young Casanova's I need to check out before you decide on a date?"

I hit him gently (or not so much) on the arm. "So funny," I said sarcastically, "you're on fire."

Robbie smiled, "Hey I gotta find out somehow. Have you got any boys in your sights these days?"

See normally I would refuse to talk about anything of this nature with anyone other than Gee or Libby – and sometimes maybe not even them. But I like Robbie so I gave him the benefit of the doubt other than believing he's just a nosy arse.

"Nope." I said shaking my head.

"No?" Robbie repeated, "What about that youngen you used to always hang around with? What was his name? Callum?"

I frowned at hearing his name when it's not coming from my mouth. "I... we... he's just a friend." I said eventually, wondering if I can still call him that even.

"Yeah?" Robbie questioned, clearly mistaking my hesitation wrongly. "Well you can always talk to me about it if you want."

I smiled at him but he was totally getting it wrong. "Cal's just a friend." I assured him, "It's just we had a falling out that's all." I shrugged and Robbie seemed to get that I didn't feel like sharing anymore just then because he changed the subject after that.

"So you reckon Jas is having a good time?" Robbie asked and I turned to see Jas practically breaking her face with the way she was smiling. I laughed and turned to Robbie.

"She hates it. I knew it."

We carried on laughing while Gee walked up to us looking rather relieved to get away from the crowds. She joins in the conversation for a bit until I see somehow else heading our way. And it's the same guy that was staring at me non-to discretely before. Lovely.

"That guy," I say interrupting whatever Robbie was saying at that point, "he reminds me of someone," I say. It's really starting to annoy me now because I can't place it. I point to the guy causing Georgia and Robbie to turn around to look.

I give up trying to think who he reminds me of while Gee seems transfixed ahead. I pull Robbie back a bit and ask "is that Dave?" just to check my assumptions are right.

Robbie looks momentarily shocked, which is understandable since he doesn't know I've read Gee's diaries. He frowns a tad before saying "Yeah, yeah that's him."

He said it quietly though and glanced nervously up at Georgia as he did it. If he was worried about her overhearing he didn't really have a problem, it seemed Gee was completely absorbed by what was in front and slowly getting closer...

Dave; apparently.

**Libby**

Oh this is bad. This could not be worse. I can't believe this. I can't believe what happened and what's happening now. Well that's a bit of a false cliff-hanger seeing as _nothing's_ happening now. And that's the problem.

The wedding's just finishing so everyone is dispersing off to the reception which is quite close so it shouldn't take long. And I really _really_ just want to get out of this posh, tight dress and put on something more comfortable.

I sat on the front row for the ceremony which is just about awkward enough anyway for someone like me. But it doesn't end there. I was placed between the worst possible people in the whole Church it seemed.

On my left was this obscenely tall, blonde guy who just about smiled the biggest smile that ever existed for the _whole _of the two hours that the wedding lasted for. And every so often he kept nudging me and saying, "Oh yaaa," in the strangest accent ever because I'm positive he isn't English, "yaaaa." And he didn't even have the curtsey to whisper it so I'm pretty sure they could hear him three rows back. Jas didn't look happy.

Oh and on my right were my parents. They don't really need explaining though.

During the wedding I kept looking at Robbie at the front. I didn't mean to exactly, I just couldn't help it. It's like my eyes seemed to be stuck on him. But I guess it doesn't even matter because he never looked my way once. And why would he? He didn't know it was me did he? And we're hardly close.

I think the reason I'm feeling hopeless and secretive and dithery is because I haven't got it off my chest yet about the kiss. But I can't tell Gee... who I tell a lot of my stuff to. But she would flip out about this I know. And the worst part is I don't know who at.

I was going to ring my friends the day after on the Friday but I just couldn't bring myself to. It was their first day at Uni and at our last get together on Wednesday I lied and told them all I was alright about Uni and that everything would be fine. So if I called them I would be the biggest idiot on the planet because this problem is _before_ I'm even at Uni. Pathetic.

I wasn't the only one acting funny during the wedding though. Gee was stood at the front looking like she'd been hypnotised. For the majority of the time she just keep staring straight forward. I think she was avoiding her old boyfriend Dave. I'm not sure which one he is but by the looks of things he was stood near Robbie and Tom's groomsmen. At least I'm not the only one screwed up slightly, even if it is my sister.

We're all outside the Church and just like before I can't take my eyes off Robbie. There's just something inside me that really wants to talk to him- no _yell_ at him. Why doesn't he know me? Argh it's so annoying. I never have to go through stuff like this. I'm not that obsessive girl that feels attracted to guys she doesn't even know.

Except I do know a bit about Robbie... I just don't _know_ him, know him. As in... I don't know him like Georgia knows him.

Ok that is everything wrong with this. I can't be doing this. I can't be thinking like this. I mean it's my sister and her... well very good friend. It's Robbie and Georgia... I'm not in there. No.

So why am I currently walking up to Robbie, Georgia and Bry who are congregated far off from everyone else? Oh lord, I don't know.

Georgia seems very distracted. Probably worrying about Dave again. I feel sorry for her but I've certainly got my fair share of it now. Robbie and Bry are talking quietly to each other but they break about when I arrive.

"Libby!" Bry exclaims happily. I think she's still trying to make it up to me after Thursday night when everything bad went on. She had me worried sick for ages. Well until I went back to her house and found her sitting there with hot chocolate. At least she made me a cup. That plus the fact that I'd just kissed Robbie stopped me from yelling at her. Plus I don't think I've ever yelled at anyone in my life so I wouldn't be very good at it.

But I feel like yelling at Robbie now. A lot. I'm rather scared about what's come over me. But it just hurts to know that he didn't know it was me.

I smile back at Bry and look over to Robbie nervously. Who by the way does not look nervous in the slightest. Which just makes me more nervous. Great.

"Hey Libby, you ok?" Robbie asks and I nod silently before opening my mouth to say something I really don't want to say. But I say it anyway. "Can I erm... well can I have a-a-a word with you? Please." I add on the end quick and feel like the biggest loser on the planet.

I probably _am_ the biggest loser on the planet since the most action I've had boy-wise is with a thirty-three year old guy who just happens to be my sister's ex and who is possibly still in love with her and who doesn't actually remember snogging me. My life is fantastic right now.

If Robbie is feeling confused he doesn't show it and nods his head while saying, "Sure." Then he taps Gee on the shoulder and looks at her tenderly. And it makes my insides feel funny. Ergh.

"Gee... will you," he motions with his hand, "will you be ok? I'm going over there so..."

Georgia nods and whispers, "yeah... yeah I think... yeah."

Me and Robbie have just walked a bit away from Georgia and it's so annoying because he keeps looking over to her. Probably because this guy (I think Dave) has just approached her. But I don't care about that right now. All this would be a lot easier if Robbie would actually look at _me_ for five seconds.

"Erm so can...can I talk to you?" I say timidly, trying to get Robbie to tune out from Georgia-net.

"Right," he answers quickly snapping his head round, "sorry go on. What can I do for you?"

I frown then because he actually has no clue about anything. I guess in the back of my mind I was hoping (in vain) that really he might remember. But apparently not.

"It's about Thursday night," I say. "Well Friday morning really... but Thursday night I guess... it depends on what you-" I stop talking. Because I'm just blabbering now. And it's not helping anything.

Robbie folds his arms in front of me and questions, "Ok so Thursday night or Friday morning..."

Ok...here goes... "I... you...when you were in the woods you..." I pause to take a deep breath and avert my eyes, "you...we... sort of... erm, kissed."

Robbie raises his eyebrows and a sort of amused look crosses his face, "I'm sorry? We... we _kissed_?"

I frown as I nod silently.

"I... I think you're mistaken," Robbie says and I can feel the blood rush to my face.

"No," I say shaking my head, "I'm not mistaken. The person you kissed in the woods, it was me."

Robbie shakes his head. And the scary thing is he does actually look genuinely confused. "Erm Libby I'm not sure what you..." he pauses and starts again, "I didn't kiss anyone that night."

My frown increases. So not only does he not remember that it was me but he doesn't remember the kiss at all? Do I suck that much? I know I've not had much experience but still...

"I was on Tom's stag party on Thursday." Robbie says after a while bringing my eyes up to meet his again.

"I know," I acknowledge, "You were wearing a mask."

"I was wearing a mask?" Robbie repeats even more confused now. Then slowly his eyes widen and he says, "I _was_ wearing a mask. We were... we were running from... from the girls..."

I nod my head and tell him to continue. Why do I get the feeling this is the first time he's remembering all this? How much did he drink?!

"I was in the woods with Ben... and they were coming so I ran and tripped and then-"

All I do is stand there like a lemon while realisation suddenly dawns on Robbie about what happened. His eyes go scarily wide and he brings a hand up to rub across his forehead in despair. At least I think its despair...

"I...we..." Robbie stutters and it pleases me to learn I'm not the only dithering fool in the face of this problem, "we kissed?" He confirms and I hate the way his mouth distorts as he says it.

I nod silently and look away. His reaction is not what I... well actually I don't know _what_ I expected his reaction to be but still...

Robbie puts a hand on my shoulder and it feels like he's purposely trying to point out the height difference. Which isn't even that great by the way – I'm actually quite tall.

"I'm sorry Libby... I... sorry. It should never have happened." Robbie says and it hurts because he really does mean it. Shit.

**Jas**

There are only a few things in my life that I don't need to hesitate for when thinking or talking about them. For example, I can quite happily say, with no hint of hesitation that I love weddings, I love my parents, I love my friends and one hundred percent, I love Tom.

I am now officially called Jasmine Jennings and it's the best feeling in the world, even if I don't particularly like my full name. But the Jennings bit is a great addition.

The wedding was fantastic. Everything went perfectly. Well apart from stupid Sven speaking out loud during the service, but I soon forgot about that when it came to our vows. I can't believe the way Tom makes me feel – it's without a doubt the most amazing feeling in the world. I wish I could have that feeling every day. And now I can – every second of every day because he's my _husband_.

Crikey that feels great to say.

We've just finished all our pictures. Me and Tom were in the last few by ourselves obviously. I don't think I want to take my dress off ever. Not even for the reception. Tom says it'll probably annoy me during the night but I don't care – it's staying on. You only get married once right? Or at least I hope it's that way for me.

This has been the best day of my life, hands down. Everyone I love is here and it just adds to how special this all is for me. I can't stop smiling – it's like a disease. But a really, really good one that

I never want to find a cure for.

In truth I should actually be really mad at Georgia and the rest of my friends for making me do all the stuff on my hen party. But surprisingly I just can't seem to bring myself to do it. I know I was ridiculously drunk (which will never happen again) but I think I still did enjoy myself. So I guess part of me (a teensy part) is actually really grateful to Gee.

Not that I'll ever tell her that. I've got her thinking she owes me for ruining the Jenning's fruit and veg stock. Even if they didn't mind in the slightest. That's not the point at all.

Remember how before I said I have no hesitations about loving weddings, especially this one? Well apparently all that is about to come to an end. Why?

Because right this moment Dave is walking up to Georgia and Bryony. And oddly enough Gee's not moving. They're actually going to talk after fourteen years. Oh god.

Please, _please_ don't let them ruin my wedding. _Please_.

**sooooo... more to come as promiseddd (:**

**horns out ;)**


	7. Hesitations Part 2

**Quick update since this is the 2nd half of the wedding.**

**I would like to dedicate this chappy to my friend of all friends (who is the co-writer for Flattened by a Laughing Camel) because she has kindly listened and joined in to my moaning and ranting about this story & has supplied me with more ideasss (:**

**Hesitations. Part 2**

**Sunday 27****th**** September... **_**Still**_

**Gee**

I can't believe this is happening. Well I _can_ because Big G has never been my biggest fan but still... _why _is it happening?!

Dave is stood less than a metre away. Has he forgotten what personal boundaries are over the years?

Libby is off to Robbie about God knows what and Bry is just standing next to me, glancing from me to Dave curiously. This is bad, this is so bad.

"You must be Bryony," Dave says, completely blanking me as he veers away to shake Bry's hand. She looks a tad confused at first and stares at Dave's hand like it's covered in fungus for a good few seconds before finally shaking it. Dave's eyes seem to narrow at this but he doesn't say anything.

"And you're Dave." Bryony states confidently, shocking him no end and definitely rendering him speechless.

"I... erm, yes, yes I am," Dave stutters after taking a few seconds to recover. The Dave I know doesn't stutter. Well the Dave I _knew_ didn't anyway.

I can't imagine what's going through Dave's head now. He probably thinks that I told Bry loads about him like some crazy obsessed woman who never got over her high school boyfriend.

But this is all complete bollocks of course. I never told Bry anything about him. She had to find out for herself by reading my diaries. I wonder how she knows this is Dave. Maybe she overhead someone else calling him that? Yes, that'll be it.

And I _did_ get over Dave. Sure, it may have taken... a rather long time but I did it. I am completely, one hundred percent, totally not over him. NO! I _am_ over him. So over him in fact that even though he's standing just inches or so away looking gorgey and smelling groovy I, Georgia Nicolson, do not even feel a teensy threat of the oncoming Horn. Nope, not at all... right?

But why are my legs bloody shaking? Grrrr.

When I finally refocus my brain to earth (which trust me, takes a while) I find Dave facing me again, a strange look in his eyes.

"So erm..." he begins – taking his turn now to dart his gaze between me and Bry. As you do. "How have you been?"

Ok what is that supposed to mean? Is it a – 'how have you been without me' sort of question? Or a 'you must be so depressed and alone' statement? Or maybe he actually wants to know how I'm feeling and what's going on in my life these days. Maybe...

"Well I... erm, I..." oh great. It seems the stutteryness is contagious. Wonderful.

"She's a write," Bryony chirps up and I smile at her gratefully. Maybe she can talk for me instead. "She works for a magazine and has done for four years and she loves it. Before that she was a reviewer for a year but the boss thought she was too controversial." Bry suddenly pauses as she finishes this and looks to me with a slightly worried look on her face. I smile at her though and as I glance over at Dave I see that he too is wearing an amused grin on his face.

"I see you're still the same then," Dave says in a casual way yet I still feel the hairs on my arms prick up at the words. Does he mean that in a bad way? Like I've not grown up from the crazy cosmic horn-driven silly teenage I was? Because I _have_. Haven't I?

I'm staring at Dave blankly. I can't decide if he's trying to be funny or not. I mean he _used_ to be a laugh, is he still one now? Hmm...

Oh Christ almighty this is so awkward – no one has talked in over twenty seconds! I know because I counted in my head. I've been practising. I've been staring at Dave who kept looking at Bry who is fascinated by the ground.

Ooo, Bry's head has just popped up. She must have sensed the incisive staring. Freaky.

"I'm going to go see the Grands," Bry says turning to leave suddenly. I almost stop her then because Dave now looks a tad relieved and I have a feeling he wants to talk to me alone. Crap.

But I let Bry wander off because clearly she was a bit uncomfortable and things could be a _lot _worse if Dave says the wrong thing in front of her.

"Does she know?" Dave asks, glancing over my shoulder at Bryony walking away. I frown in confusion. That's a silly question.

"Does she know what?" I ask.

Dave frowns, "Have you told her?"

Ok this is silly, "Told her what?" I say and then Dave goes slightly mad akimbo and grabs hold of my arms none too gently.

"Does Bryony know I'm her dad?!" He practically shouts so we both end up suddenly glancing round to make sure nobody's heard. Luckily it doesn't seem like it. Or if they did they really don't care. Charming.

I sort of pull away from Dave's grasp and say, "You don't know you're her father."

Dave looks around us before stepping closer yet again and saying, "Yes Georgia, I do."

I shake my head, I'm so scared right now. "No you don't." I say and my voice is suddenly really quiet.

Dave looks at me and shrugs casually before saying, Fine. Then I want a paternity test done."

I stare at him in shock. Please Big G say he did not just say that. Why? Whhhhyyy?

"But-" I begin to say but Dave cuts me off.

"Don't Georgia," he says, "I have every right to ask for one and you know it. And I will push this. I have to know."

Why? _Why_ does he have to know? And why now? After fourteen bloody years of _nothing_?

"You can't do this to Bryony," I blurt out because it's the only thing I can think of that might make Dave go back on what he just said.

"Do _what_ to Bryony?" he scoffs, "telling her who her dad is isn't a crime you know. She'll probably be grateful to know. Unless it's really Robbie you're bothered about."

I shake my head because I know I'm definitely right about this. "She won't" I say, ignoring the comment about Robbie, "she doesn't need you in her life and as far as I'm aware for the past fourteen years you haven't needed her either. Doing this paternity test won't do any good. Please Dave don't do this."

Oh hells bells I just sounded like a pathetic, moppy person. How unbelievably sad.

"I'm doing it," Dave states. And I believe him. Shit. "I just have to know," he says a bit quieter and finally takes the step back.

At which point Bryony comes flying in. Oh Big G _please_ say she didn't hear any of that. I'll... not say bad things about Jas for a month.

"The Grands say we have to go to the reception now," Bry says to me. I stare at her for a moment before finally saying;

"Right... yeah let's go."

Then we walk away. I don't say anything else to Dave and I don't look at him again. I can't believe this is happening. I _knew_ something crap like this would come about. Fab. Just _fab_.

At the wedding reception and it's annoyingly good despite all the craposity Dave's arrived with. I'm sat on a table with Jas, Tom, Robbie, Po's parents and Hunky's parents. Dave is on another table of eight with Rollo, Ed, their girlfriends, Dec and a couple of Tom's groomsmen. At least Dave hasn't brought a 'lady friend' or anyone. Not that I'd care. But if he had appeared with a wife and three kids it would have been so weird. And not in a good way.

I switched with Libs and went and sat at Rosie's table for a bit before. She's with Sven, Mabs, Bry, Jools and her guy who, by the way is probably the nicest, sweetest guy in the universe of universes. It's kind of freaky. He's really _really_ nice. Like the opposite of Rollo.

Not that Rollo's horrible. But Rollo, who Jools wouldn't stop staring at the whole time I was sat next to her and probably before and after that too. I kept nudging her of course but alas it did no good. She would just shrug at me and go back to playing sticky eyes with her old boyfriend. I guess I know who has the commitment problem in their relationship. Poor Sam. That's his name.

Jas is probably sweating her arse off. She seems to have it in her head that there's gonna be some trouble between the Ace Gang and the Barmy Army because they haven't seen each other in ages. She so over reacts.

But my money's on Jools and Rollo and Sam if something does go off. Not that Sam would be able to say anything offensive. He'd probably have to go confess to Call-me-Arnold right after. How sweet. Ish.

Anyway I'm back at my own table now, which is slightly less fun. Although it is a bit later now so people have started drinking and then gradually shifted over to the dance floor. Jas and Tom had their first dance together a while ago. It was to "Amazed" by Lonestar which I thought was a tad corny but I didn't say anything because I'm nice like that. And hey ho it's their song not mine.

Robbie is acting rather strange for him. As in he's hardly spoken throughout the entire reception. Mind you neither have I, although with Dave at least I have a good reason. Unless Dave being back is why Robbie is a bit off too. Maybe.

"Georgia," hey talk of the devil it's Robbie himself! Not that he's the devil... he's in fact the vair opposite of the devil he's tres tres sweet.

He just leant over and whispered in my ear. I turned to him and whispered back, "Yeah?"

He looked at me for a moment and his blue eyes went a hazy shade. "You wanna dance?"

I looked up at the dance floor to pay attention to what was on – Everything I do by Bryan Adams. A slow one. All the couple were sort of melting into each other. Robbie wants me to dance _now_?

"Erm...ok," I found myself saying and next thing I know I'm only a tad awkwardly dancing in Robbie's arms. And I'm surprised it's not more awkward. How odd.

We're not quite like the other 'dancers' though. He's got his hands on my back and mine are just on the top of his shoulders. Yes it's not awkward. It's actually quite nice.

"I did something stupid," Robbie abruptly says and I end up laughing ironically. Robbie _never _does anything stupid. Well unless I'm involved... but let's not talk about that.

I grin at him, "Is it anywhere near some of the stupid things I've done? Because if it isn't, I can't believe it's that bad."

Robbie takes his time before cracking smile like mine. "Fair enough."

We dance silently for a bit then until the song changes to that "Eternal Flame" one by the Bracelets or something. We look at each other for a moment before moving slowly closer so my head's now pressed against his chest and my arms around his neck.

Robbie tries to clear his throat before saying, "Dave's looking at you." I shut my eyes and don't say anything.

Well until I say "He wants a paternity test." Robbie stays silent so I carry on, "And... he's really going to do it."

Robbie pulls away then so he can look at me. "Georgia I..." he pauses and sighs, "I know you know who the father is. And not once in all these years have I asked you about that. But now... isn't it better that Bry finds out – that we _all_ find out from you, not some stupid test?"

I feel myself beginning to blub so I pull Robbie back closer for something to lean against.

"I'm scared," I whisper and it's true. I'm bloody terrified.

Robbie sort of strokes my hair a bit and says, "Me too... me too."

**Bryony**

I'm not usually one to hesitate because normally I trust myself and my actions. I don't feel the need to stop and think about most things.

Well, until recently that is. Now it's like everything that's happening is making me hesitate and sometimes look back and wonder why I didn't hesitate before.

Nathan, for example, I had an idea about him (not a very nice one) but it turns out he is human (wow) and has his own story like the rest of us. And yeah, I feel horrible about that situation.

But it's confusing as well. When I talked to Nathan that night he seemed really cut up about not knowing his dad. Which is weird because I've never felt that way at all. About my dad I mean. Which is definitely ironic considering what I overheard about seven hours ago.

It was a while after the ceremony when everyone was outside talking and having pictures etc. I'd left Gee so she could talk alone with Dave but as it turns out I went back to them too early. And heard way more that I wanted to.

So Dave asked Gee for a paternity test which I guess could mean one of two things. One, it could be that this Dave from Gee's diaries is an extremely nosy jerk even though it's not of his business. Or two, and obviously the one I believe since I'm not stupid, that Dave thinks he could be my dad. Hmm... fancy that?

And all _that_ means that there must be someone else who could also possibly be my dad. Oh the fun. I feel like I'm in blood Mamma Mia – which in itself is ironic considering it's the last film I watched on Thursday night with Libby.

Now don't get me wrong, I didn't spend the last seven hours trying to think who the other possible 'dad' could be because even if I did find out accidentally, it doesn't change anything about what I believe about the whole dad scenario. Sure, I hesitated when I first overhead them but I covered it up fast luckily. I wonder what Gee would be like if she knew that I know?

No, on the contrary I spent the last seven hours trying to _forget _what I now know. I do['t want to spend my time worrying about some guy who clearly didn't fancy being in my life for the past thirteen, nearly fourteen years I've been alive so I don't feel the need to give it the time of day.

At the moment I'm sat with Libby, Gee's old Ace Gang and some of their partners, like Sven for example who is so the coolest guy in the room. Most people go changed out their wedding gear to come to the reception (I took off my fishing net dress) and Sven changed into a casual suit kind of thing with a flashing tie!! Genius.

Libby is terrified of him as well which adds to the general comical effect. She keeps nudging her chair closer to mine because Sven is constantly offering to feed her strawberries. Personally, I think this is quite a nice gesture. Libs doesn't though.

I had a bit of a boogie with Sven and Rosie before and yes, boogie is definitely the right word, even if I don't use it much. Their form of dancing is sort of a mix between the Hakka and twisting excessively. Still, it's all good fun. Plus Libby was pleased that Sven had left the table for a bit.

One of Gee's Ace Gang members, Jools I think her name is, has brought her boyfriend along from down south. And I think she's being very rude to him. Instead of actually talking to her date she just kept making eyes at this other bloke sat on a different table. Very rude. And the guy she's with, Sam, is really nice. He seems sweet and funny and relaxed. I feel really sorry for him. I don't know what this Jools is doing. Although I have just met her, and she is Gee's friend so maybe I shouldn't judge.

But me, if I was Jools, I would be so happy to be with a guy like Sam and would at least look his way when having a conversation.

Thinking about this, I was suddenly brought to Callum. I haven't been 'friends' with him in nearly a week. And I really hate it. And I miss him. Without him at school I'm practically friendless. No wait, I most certainly _am_ friendless.

I ended up talking to Libby about Callum while we were at the table and everyone else was dancing. I would talk to Gee but while we don't have the typical mother-daughter awkwardness when it comes to stuff like this she _is_ still my mum. Plus, Libby was right there next to me.

"I'm sure he'll come around," Libby said after listening to me moan. She's probably heard enough about it all on Thursday (before the venture into the woods). Not that Libby would say anything if my mediocre problems were boring her; she's too nice (and shy) to offend anyone.

"I just... he's never acted like this before," I said, "I've not seen him in so long." Christ do they put something int he water in this place? Why am I sounding so whiny?

"And it's his birthday soon" I continued, "what if he doesn't let me see him before then? We always do something special on our birthdays but this year he'll probably do something with _Nathan_."

"Nathan from the woods?" Libby questioned and I nodded. "He seemed alright."

I frowned and shrugged. I don't really know what to think of him anymore.

Libby continued, "I mean he helped me find you. When I didn't know you were at your house that is."

I smiled apologetically and Libby did back. "Maybe you should give him a chance," She said, and I found myself nodding along.

"And maybe Callum's feeling confused right now," she added after a while. I turned to see her frowning into her drink.

"What do you mean?" I asked anxiously – Libby _never_ frowns.

She bit her lip ,"Well... well maybe he doesn't quite know how he feels about you so he's trying to clear his head."

"I... what?" I said totally confused.

Libby frowned harder (if that's possible) and said, "maybe he likes you."

It was my turn to frown then because the way she meant that was not in a friend way.

"What?" I exclaimed, "Callum's my best friend." Or at least he used to be.

Libby shrugged distractedly, "I don't know, maybe something happened and now I- _he_ feels different and doesn't know how to deal with it."

I hesitated in replying. One, because maybe there are some truths in what Libby had just said and two, I don't think she was only referring to Callum.

"Libby," I said cautiously, "Are you ok?"

She turned her head to me and nodded vehemently, "I'm fine."

Something's wrong. I wonder what? She wasn't frowning anymore, just looking unbelievably worried and pale – ok, even paler than normal which takes quite some feet, trust me.

I turned to see in which direction she was staring. It was towards the table with Gee, Jas, Tom, Robbie etc on. What's over there that's so troubling and distracting? I can't imagine any one of them making Libby so... agitated. But she _is_ looking that way.

Libby has gone to the loo and basically everyone (even the Grands here) is on the dance floor. Probably because they've started playing upbeat, happy songs again instead of the sentimental much they had on a few minutes ago.

A few minutes ago. When I learnt something else I never asked to know. It was one of those last, slow songs and Gee was dancing with Robbie. Everything seemed to move in slow motion as well and it was actually like something clicked in my head. Weird.

Just the way he was looking at her. The way they both were holding each other – I knew, just _knew _in that moment that there was something there, that they had something between them. And I thought back to the diaries of Gee's that I'd read. About what she said about Robbie in there. And what Dave had said earlier that day when he mentioned Robbie's name. It was right there – Robbie could possibly be my dad.

And it scared me – scared me no end. Robbie could be my dad? Robbie or Dave? Oh lord.

Luckily it was at this moment around that Libby decided she desperately needed the loo so took off and therefore didn't witness my unease. She looked rather queasy herself in fact she looked how I was feeling.

I wanted to get some air then – get out and clear my head like Libs was talking about before.

But I never got the chance because Robbie and Gee suddenly called me over. Of course they did. What else?

And I had to go. I had to go and dance with them and pretend that the weird feeling I had about Dave and Calum and Robbie wasn't there. At least it was a lively song so I could basically jump around like a crazy person and not have to act awkward or anything.

But then the song ended and I was dreading that weird bit between songs where you have to sway dodgily and talk etc. Robbie was looking at me like he wanted to talk. And he was smiling as well.

Or he was until suddenly Libby appeared out of nowhere (or the bathroom as that's where she was) and demanded to talk with him in the hall. That was odd. She looked a cross between angry and scared.

Me and Gee were just as confused as anything but when those two left we danced by ourselves.

It was nice. Gee may not be the best dancer in the world but she's so much fun. She did an excellent job at making me forget everything and by the look on her face I reckon she was grateful for the distraction as well.

**Libby**

The wedding was the reception was beautiful. I have no hesitations about saying that. And Jas, she looked absolutely amazing. Her hair was curled into ringlets and half clipped up with a few strands hanging down. And she didn't take her dress off all night – I don't blame her.

But as much as it was all pretty and wonderful etc for me it was horrific. And no, not concerning Jas or Tom. I just couldn't stop thinking about Robbie, or staring at him for that matter. I'm so scared; what has happened to me? It's like I can't move or think or focus without hesitating to look at him.

Of course he didn't help matters with what he said to me earlier, just after the actual wedding. He said he was _sorry_ and that it _shouldn't have happened_.

Why did he say that? Did he not like it?

Well obviously he didn't. And that doesn't exactly make me feel better. How come I'm reacting like this and he just wants to forget about it and act like it never occurred.

Although come to think of it forgetting sounds like a good option right about now. Because I'm sat at my table at the reception with my head in my hands while everyone has fun around me. Apart from Bryony the only people on this table are basically Gee's friends – and Gee's friends are definitely not the sort of people I'm friends with. They're loud and crazy and flirty and confident. If you want to get a word in edge ways you have to yell. Not that I do.

Jas and Tom had their first dance just a few moments ago – another thing to add to the beautiful list. I can't believe how in love those two are, it's so sweet. I hope when I get married I'm as much in love with the guy as Jas is. She's very lucky.

"Libs!" Someone just shouted in my ear and my head snapped around to see Gee waving her hands in front of me, "Hello! Switch with me silly," she said. Huh?

"What?" I questioned, wondering how long I'd been daydreaming for.

"Go sit in my place for a bit will you?" She said as she physically removed me from my seat anyway.

I went and moved over to her table, only registering that I would have to sit next to Robbie when I was just a mere metre away. He turned to see who was coming over and his face sort of fell when he recognised me. Thanks.

"Err..." he began gruffly, pulling out the chair for me awkwardly. How is it that he can be a perfect gentleman and still make my heart and head hurt? Not fair.

"Thanks" I said in a whisper and shuffled my chair up to the table so I could lean on it for support. Robbie didn't seem like he was going to talk to me any time soon except to nod his head in acknowledgement so I turned away from him slightly to see Jas. We talked for quite a while until Tom called her up to dance again.

Leaving me with only Robbie on my other side.

It was him that spoke first though. And I was surprised (and perhaps secretly pleased) to find that his voice was as shaky as my thoughts, "Have you told anyone?"

I shook my head and said, "No," as well. It was quiet though. And to anyone on other tables it probably wouldn't even look like we were having a conversation: he was staring out towards the dance floor and I had my head looking down at the table.

"Oh..." Robbie said trying to appear nonchalant but I knew he was relieved. "I am sor-" he started to say but we were suddenly interrupted by the reappearance of Gee.

"Hey, thanks for that Libs, your chair awaits your botty once more." She said.

I nodded silently and refused to look at Robbie as I clambered out of my chair and headed back over to the other table. How dare he say he's sorry _again_? I know he bloody regrets it, does he have to keep reminding me?

A couple hours or so have passed now. Maybe more, I'm not too sure. Robbie doesn't look too active on his table. Good. I hope he's as troubled as I am. And he doesn't even have a crazy Swedish (I think) person on his left.

Sven. Another one of my sister's... _friends_. They may as well be a circus I think. He's tall and blonde and the same mad character that was sat next to me during the wedding ceremony. Why are we always put together? If I wasn't me I might ask to switch. But that's life.

He keeps trying to talk to me and make me eat stuff or something. He's probably trying to poison me more like it. Bry seems to think it's funny of course.

But then I began talking with her about her 'boy' problems as such. I really, _really_ didn't want to discuss it but what could I say? This is my little niece; it's my job to help her out - even if my experience is pathetically limited and probably of no use.

I listened and tried to help where I could though. She seemed really upset about her best friend Callum. And I realised that for once, maybe I had the upper hand in the knowledge section of relationships. Ok, so I was up against a thirteen year old girl but still...

I guess Bryony is just too innocent to think that her best friend my actually like her. And maybe he doesn't, but I think there's a good chance he might. It would explain his behaviour well anyway.

As I continued to tell Bry what I thought, thoughts of Robbie kept creeping into my mind. And before I knew it the Callum I was portraying turned into me. I had to keep mentally reminding myself that it was Callum I was referring to all the time, though I couldn't help turn his feelings into mine. It was a subconscious thing at first that I gradually became aware of...

And I think Bryony did to. She caught me drifting off towards the end and tried to catch who I was staring at. She even asked if I was ok but I don't think she got the whole story. Thank God. I think it would be rather embarrassing to get love advice from your little niece. I imagine.

Not long after that happened something else did that made me want to cry. Which is probably why I ended up running to the bathroom.

I just looked up and saw them; Robbie and Gee, dancing in each other's arms. It wasn't too intimate or anything it just... well I saw the way he was looking at her. They've got history, they've got a connection...

It's silly that it's making me feel this way really. I always knew that Robbie liked my sister. Nothing changed there I guess, just with _me_. Why am I feeling this way? I don't want to feel this way. It hurts and I'm a coward when it comes to pain.

I don't know how long I stayed in the bathroom for. It could have been just a few seconds though it felt like several minutes. I guess it made me feel a tad better though... well, that could be debated.

See when I stormed back out of the loos and over to the dance floor where Robbie, Gee and now Bry were dancing I wasn't so much on the verge of tears like before, but felt surprisingly determined and I guess a little bit angry, or emotional at the very least.

Anyway I walked straight over to them and asked to speak with Robbie. And when I say asked I mean I said, "Robbie, in the hall please." I don't think I've ever spoken so confidently my whole life. Strange right?

"Erm... ok," he had said and he looked even scared than me. Good. I think...

When we entered the hall Robbie stopped, swung round to face me and said, "Listen Libby I'm sor-"

I cut him off, "No!" I said. Ok, it was a bit louder than that... "No I don't want you to be sorry! I don't want you to say that you wish it never happened and that it was a mistake because I don't want it to be a mistake because I... I-I liked it!"

Oh my god I cannot believe I just blurted all that out. Robbie is looking at me funny. I'm not surprised. This cannot get any worse.

Robbie sighs, "Look... this is... I know you don't want to hear it but I _am_ sorry, I can't... _do_ anything with this it's so... it's not right. Trust me."

He's trying to make me feel better but it's not working. Is this is way of letting me down gently or something? I think I'm going to cry – I can feel the water coming into my eyes. How can I feel so strongly about someone I never really _saw_ until a few days ago?

"But-t-t why?" I stutter feeling hopeless and pathetic.

Robbie's eyes soften even more and he's got an apologetic look on his face. "Because..." he moves his hand to rub his forehead, "...because I'm in love with your sister."

And just like that everything can fall apart. I knew it was coming, I really did but it didn't do anything to soften the blow.

So when Robbie tries to move forward to give me a hug or something I instinctively step away and carry on moving. I don't want to be like this. Not anymore.

I continue to walk back into the reception room, but this time trying to be confident in _myself_ and _me_. I don't need anyone to help me anymore. I promise myself that in the future I won't be the same person. I'll be confident and happy and I _won't_ hesitate. I'll be the person I should be – the person that can take care of herself and doesn't allow silly things like this to dampen her mood.

I'll be better – I'll be free.

**Dave**

It's been fourteen years since I've seen her so I think it's safe to say that I didn't have a clue how things were going to play out. Not that anything has gone bad necessarily. On the whole things have gone quite well I think. But that's just me.

I managed to speak to Georgia before – after the ceremony although she's stayed far away from me since. Which isn't too surprising I guess, she's hardly one to face her problems head on. Not that I'm a problem or anything. But she probably thinks that.

Even if I thought our talk went well she no doubt doesn't agree. Although that's got to be due to the fact that I practically ordered a paternity test. But why shouldn't I? I have a right to know if Bryony is my kid. If Georgia won't tell me herself I'll just have to find out his way.

Robbie probably already knows. They seem pretty tight – no shock there. He was dancing with her before. I knew he would still have feelings for her. He's not as strong as me – at least I was able to get on with my life.

Or so I thought.

When did it happen that my life was turned upside down? Well for the second time anyway – the first clearly being when Gee told me she was pregnant all those years ago.

It wasn't long ago – three, four weeks maybe? But that changed everything for me. Originally I wasn't going to come to the wedding. I didn't want to come and pretend to be a part of the lives of people that I didn't even know anymore.

But then I found out. And I knew I had to come. I had to come and find out things for myself and also find out whether Bryony was my daughter. I need to know this.

Throughout my adult life I've constantly reassured myself that me not being in Georgia's (and I guess Bryony's) life was a good thing – it was what was right. I didn't need her anymore and she wouldn't affect my happiness. And right before I saw them both in the Church I reminded myself of this – that I _did_ make the right choice all those years ago. This is what I believe.

Or it was. Right up until about five minutes ago – five minutes ago when I saw Georgia and Bryony laughing and dancing together in front of me. They were having fun and relaxed and happy. And me, I was sat at my table doing something I told myself I would never do – I wished that I was up there with them. I actually wanted to be a part of what they had together.

It was then that I realised that fourteen years ago I made the biggest mistake of my life. I should never have left or detached myself from Georgia. Because Bryony, she seems amazing. And if I could do anything, it would be to go back in time, stay with Gee and see Bryony grow up.

I should have hesitated that night. I should never have snapped. I should have been in Bryony's life. Maybe now it's too late.

**Review if you likeddd and have ponderings about stuff going on!**

**horns out ;)**


	8. Humiliations

**Sorry for the wait being a bit longer... hope this'll make up for it! **

**horns out ;)**

**Humiliations**

**Wednesday 30****th**** September**

**Bryony**

I'm avoiding Robbie and Dave. I thought I might as well come out and say it. I just don't really know how to act around them because if I spend time with them I know that I will eventually blurt out what I know... about those two being my possible dads. Meh.

So I'm just avoiding them. Which is harder than you'd think. For one, it seems that Dave is now going to be hanging around for a while and Robbie, well he's living in Jas and Tom's house while they're on their honeymoon, so has no chance of leaving for another two or so weeks. And he's with Rosie and Sven who have suddenly decided to stay for god knows how long... not that Jas will be able to do much about it...

And then there's another person I'm avoiding. Which is (in my opinion) even worse than the first two. It's Callum. Remember? My _old_ best friend? I think I may have to avoid him forever.

If I was the sort of person to blame people I would blame Libby. But I'm not. So I won't.

But if she hadn't said that stuff then I really wouldn't be in this predicament. But I'm really not blaming her. I guess I would have eventually come to this point on my own anyway. She just speeded up the process. A lot...

See when we were at the reception I ended up talking to her about my Callum 'problem'. And she said a lot of stuff and mentioned that Callum probably _likes_ me likes me which is why he was being off and slightly angry with me – he was confused about his feelings.

When I went round to see Callum after school today I wasn't exactly sure about my own feelings. Except really I was but I just told myself I wasn't so I wouldn't be nervous. But the truth is something had changed – once Libby had said that Callum liked me something just switched. And I saw him differently... and... I didn't want him to be my best friend anymore. No, I wanted more.

I had watched him walk quickly past me at the gate like usual so left it ten minutes or so before heading off towards his house. And yes, he was in. Yey...

"Bryony," he said frowning as he opened the door. What a lovely greeting.

"Err... hi," I said awkwardly, waiting for Cal to invite me in but instead he just pulled the door to and stepped out onto the path. So we were talking outside it seemed.

"What do you want?" He asked and not too nicely.

"I...I..." I struggled for words. Lord. "I want to talk about us." Wow, I got it out.

He folded his arms and bent down a bit to look at me, "Shoot."

Ok, so I wasn't quite expecting him to go all casual on me suddenly. I took a deep breath wondering why on earth I was about to say what I then just said, "It's ok if you like me," I told him looking him in the eye, "because... I think I like you too."

He went back to frowning then, probably trying to figure out what I had just meant.

And then he got it. And everything went crap.

"I... Bry... I..." oh shit. Shit shit shit. "Look I'm sorry things got this way but... you... I only see you as a-"

"No," I said suddenly feeling my eyes pricking with water, "No don't... just... I..." I stared at him a few seconds longer while none of us spoke. "Erm, sorry to bother you," I then finished backing away and out of the front garden.

"Bryony!" Callum had called after me but I didn't answer. I didn't need to listen to him trying to make me feel better. If that's even what he was planning to do. After he's forgotten how he just embarrassed me into oblivion I'm sure he'll remember that he wasn't even speaking to me because of what happened last week.

So now you know why I have to avoid him to. And I really don't want to. I just want my friend back. I want to _not_ like him the way I do. I want things to be normal – back when I was most definitely dad-less, had the one friend who was the best friend in the world, Gee happy and making me laugh all the time, Libby helping me with my problems instead of being away at Uni...

Why is this all happening? I don't like it.

I'm nearly home now after being at Callum's. It normally wouldn't take this long but for some reason my legs felt like moving at an extremely slow speed. Does that happen after you get hurt emotionally? Maybe. Or maybe I'm just exaggerating... I mean I never even kissed Callum or anything why should I be so upset? It's not like I know what I'm missing if you get me...

Well except I do. Because he really _was _my best friend. And even if we weren't a 'couple' then it was still amazing.

I think I should go back to deliberating about my potential dad's now. That'll cheer me up... ha! I haven't said a word to any of them since the wedding. Robbie has been round a couple times to talk to Gee but I just shut myself in my room whenever that happened – I pushed the wardrobe in front of the door so they couldn't get in; a trick I learned from reading Gee's diaries.

Although they never actually tried to get in so it really defeats the point of me locking myself in... but still, good practise right?

Dave has been easier to avoid. Because I think he's actually avoiding me. Like yesterday when I came home from school he was talking to Gee outside but as soon as he saw me walking up the road he suddenly turned and marched off. I guess I'm not the only nervous one around here then. That helps.

When I enter my house though my nerves fly to a whole new level. Why? Because not only is Gee standing in the hallway looking rather nervous herself but so are Dave and Robbie. And it doesn't exactly take a genius to gather that those two don't like each other. Why are they here? And together?

I gulp and am in half a mind to run straight back out again when Robbie says, "We're just leaving Bry," and Dave shoots him a glance that I can't see because he's got his back to me.

I nod my head and make a non-too discretely dash around the outside of them towards Gee.

"See you later," Robbie says as he walks towards the door, looking at me all the while. He's trying to get some reaction out of me or something – or at least a reply. But I don't know what to say. I don't really want to speak to either of the two men in my house right now.

I look away but do it slowly enough that I manage to see Robbie frown from the corner of my eye. But not an angry frown – a worried one. That doesn't make me feel any better – and I'm feeling very shit currently in case you didn't notice – and I guess a part of me wants to go over and say goodbye like I would normally.

But these really aren't normal circumstances so I leave it.

After that Dave and Robbie really didn't waste any time in leaving. And barely a couple of minutes had passed before I found myself sitting on the sofa in the lounge with Gee by my side looking slightly shifty in my opinion.

She's looking at me and I think that now is a good time to share everything that's happened with Callum. From reading her dairies I know that she's had plenty of issues with stupid boys. Maybe she can help me get over Cal? If that's what I want... well it's what I need anyhow.

I wonder how I should start. I'm not stupid, and I know she isn't either so Gee has probably worked out by now that me and Callum aren't on the best of terms at the moment.

But then I think maybe I shouldn't say anything about it. I mean, Gee most likely has enough on her plate what with Dave and Robbie being here and around so I would really just be adding to her worries. I don't want to do that.

And there's also the fact that right this second she looks like she's about to tell me something. Something that she doesn't possibly _want_ to tell me, but she's going to all the same.

"This is going to be a bit of a shock," Gee begins, though she seems like _she's_ the one that's been shocked. "I know I should have told you this a long time ago but I... well that doesn't matter but there's something you should know."

I nod my head. I already know now what she's going to say so I just wait patiently for her to speak and think of what my reaction should be to her words.

**Georgia**

"It's about your dad," I said to Bry who looked at me impassively. Ok, that's not the best reaction... maybe I should start from the beginning. "You read... you read my diaries right?" I asked and Bry nodded her head silently.

"Well..." I drew a breath, "I think it's time I told you what happened after that. I mean, I guess you want to know right?"

Bry just shrugged. _Shrugging?_ What does that mean? Ahh well...

"Ok I'm just gonna tell you want happened." I said, "I went out with Dave for a while... well a while for me anyway. And then..." Oh crap I can't believe I'm actually going to tell her. Well, I don't have to tell her _every_ little detail. That's not needed. Just the overview.

In fact I think I'll just skip to the end.

"Anyway after me and Dave... ended it I was pretty much pregnant and... well... I wasn't _exactly_ sure who the dad was..."

Bry interrupted me then, "Right, Robbie or Dave."

I stared at her like she had three eyes, which might as well have seeing as she's now the seeing-all girl. How in the name of Big G's undercrackers does she now it's Robbie or Dave? What?! Did Tom tell her? Surely not, Robbie said he wouldn't tell... Did _Robbie_ tell her? No, he wouldn't do that. Dave?

"Who... how do you know?!" I exclaimed in Bry's face. Oops.

She looked hesitant for a moment before finally saying, "Erm... well no one really but... I just... I sort of overheard you and Dave talking at the wedding."

WHAT?! Oh merde merde and thrice merde. This is not happening. I finally pluck or the courage to confront Bry and tell her the truth about my past and she bloody beats me to it! Christ almighty.

"But... I... ok I was going to tell you Bry," I said quickly feeling the worst person _ever, _"I just didn't know when and then it all-"

"It's alright," Bry said interrupting me. "I don't care. I don't really care about any of it."  
Excuse me? "What do you mean you don't care?" I asked. "How can you not care? This is... this is big."

Bry frowned, "You sound like Nathan."

My turn to frown, "Who?"

She shook her head quickly, "No one, ignore me."

Alright. I took a breath. "Are you... are you mad at me?"

"What for?" Bry asked. Silly question. Not that I'm going to say that to her.

"For not telling you sooner." I replied.

Bryony smiled then and I felt a bit better – but not nearly enough to get rid of the total humiliation of Bry already knowing what I was going to tell her.

Although... I haven't actually told her _exactly_ what I was going to. You know, the part about _who_ is her dad out of the two suitors. Haha... oh no wait it's not funny.

"I don't want to know," Bry suddenly says reading my mind yet again. Scary potatoes.

"You don't want to know..."

"...who my dad is," Bry finished for me. "I don't care."

I frowned at her. This is weird. "But... you don't care?" I questioned, confused more than a confused thing in confuzzled land.

She nodded pointedly. "Right."

"But I... I was going to tell you... now... before I told them..." I stuttered and Bry shook her head.

"I don't want to know." She said firmly, "Tell them if you want, but not me."

Has she gone loopy? How can she not want to know?! I'm so confused...

Currently sitting alone in the lounge watching some naff programme about winning something or other. I've been embarrassed, humiliated, made a fool of many times in my life... mostly because of me but still...

And now I'm having one of those moments again – where I feel so bad that putting my head in the toilet sounds like good sense. I can't believe Bry already knew about that... and yet doesn't want to know about _that_.

I bet she knew I was embarrassed. I think anyone would have known. What sort of mum doesn't know that their kid knows that they have two possible dads without their mum telling them first?

Ok that came out a bit weird. But this is no ordinary fandango of a situation. This is a bloody crisis.

During these past few days alone I've had more embarrassing moments than I can count on one hand. On Monday (the day after the wedding) Dave came round to see me. Fab. Well it was probably because I asked him to come but still...

I tried to make sure it would be after Bry had left for school but he turned up earlier and they met on the path. She scuttled round him and ignored him totally. At least now I know why she was acting oddly... I just figured it was because of her whole Callum situation... which I'm not too sure on at the moment... but there are other issues at hand.

Anyway Dave came inside and I told him that the paternity test didn't need to be done because I was going to tell everyone who the dad is. Of course, the cheeky arse that he thought that I was going to tell him right then! He sort of gestured with his hand into the air waiting for me to speak.

Fat chance. I made it clear that I was going to tell Bryony first and then Robbie and Dave. He seemed to agree with that though which made things a whole lot easier. In fact if Dave had decided to stay on a bit longer or something maybe we could have actually had a nice chit chat of sorts.

But he didn't. He just left straight away saying he had other 'things' to do. I wonder what these other 'things' are? He's being vair mysterious I have to say. Not that I would question him on it (unless drunk). We're not _that_ close yet or anything. Not even close to being that close in fact.

Robbie was round yesterday – you know, just to even things up clearly. And it was weird because he seemed a bit off. Definitely because Dave is back clearly. I tried to make him feel a bit better by making a joke and stuff because it was me that needed to be bummed out right now and Robbie being bummed out meant I couldn't be bummed out...

What was I saying before I so rudely interrupted myself? Meh it's gone...

So Robbie and Dave have both been round separately... and not long ago they were round today. Together. I thought I'd tell them both together that I was planning on telling Bry who her dad was that day. This day. _To_day.

Or at least I was going to until she just said that she doesn't want me to... Robbie and Dave seemed cool about it. Ish. Well they didn't look at each other for the entire ten minutes they were here stood in the same room but still... at least they didn't kill each other or anything. Yet.

But now my plan has gone pooey cos it doesn't seem like I'm going to be able to tell Bryony who her Vati is because she doesn't want to know and so I can't tell Dave or Robbie or anyone else because I promised myself yonks ago that I would never tell anyone until I've told Bry.

What in the name of Call-me-Arnold am I supposed to do? People – Robbie and Dave and the rest of the world – want answers! That I can't give them! Merde merde and thrice merde!

I am going to be so embarrassed. I wonder what excuse I can use. Am I too old to use the "I forgot" card? Arrrrggggh. Why does Big G hate me? Silly, _silly_ man. He needs a hobby and then he can stop ruining my life. I shall write him a letter.

What's his address again? Never mind I'm sure Call-me-Arnold'll have it. He's meant to be Big G's 'person' or something. Whatever that means. Some people are just plain weird.

Although, on an up note to this craposity at least Jassy can share in my humiliations. Poor girly. But she does have a groovy (ish) honeymoon to go on so I can't feel too sorry for her. I should give her a ring sometime before she leaves actually. I saw her this morning actually, her and some others – it made me feel slightly odd what with the situation we were coping with (as in not about me for once), but I'm not exactly sure why...

**Jas**

I don't feel well. And yet I feel completely and utterly happy at the same time. How can that be? It's one weird feeling I can tell you.

On the one hand I know I am the luckiest person in the world because I am now married to my soul mate, the love of my life and the person I want to be with forever. That's pretty darn good. And we're leaving for the honeymoon today as well - two and a bit weeks in Hawaii. I can't wait – we've booked a hotel nearest one of the most volatile volcanoes in the world. Imagine all the wildlife to discover around there?

I can just see us now having our picture taken as molten rock floats down the mountainside towards us. So romantic and beautiful. It'll look like one of those exotic postcards. Maybe we _should_ use it as a postcard? Like a Christmas card that we can send out together – I bet Tom would like that. I know I would and we're married now so really we _have_ to like the same things. It's the logical thing right?

But all that is the good stuff – the stuff that's making me feel great and doing quite a good job at blocking out all the messy things that are threatening to make me feel... well not good. I don't like them things. Even if everyone else seemed rather amused. Trust me, it was _not_ amusing.

It started near the end of the wedding reception which of course is just typical because it was so close to be a truly perfect night. But that was clearly not allowed to happen. All this does mean that I'm right though, as I did in fact predict, or rather worry, that something would unfortunately 'kick off' at some point and make a silly scene.

It's just that I was so set on this being between Georgia, Robbie and Dave that I momentarily forgot all about the Ace Gang and the Barmy Army. Crikey what a fool I was.

People were beginning to leave and I felt the need to nip to the loo before saying goodbye with Tom. However when I got to the toilets I was greeted, well not really but I walked in to see Jools pressed up against toilet cubicle number one (which is my lucky one so I wanted to use it) practically eating the insides out of some poor boy.

Or at least this was my initial impression until I registered that the poor boy was not in fact her sweet, kind date and _boyfriend_ but Rollo who is neither poor nor a boy, judging by the way he was _interacting_ with his old girlfriend. Ew.

I could have left them to it then and pretended I hadn't seen (which may have stopped what happened later on) but I knew I should tell them to stop because Jools _did_ have a date and... well it was my lucky cubicle.

"Jools what are you doing!?" I yelled rushing over to them and pulling hard on Rollo's jacket to get him away – it worked, slightly. Rollo tried to ignore me but Jools sort of stuck her head to the side (while Rollo continued to suck her neck – again, ew) and her eyes went a tad wide in acknowledgement.

She quickly made Rollo get off her and tried to straighten out her dress while I stood up straight and folded my arms at the two of them. A disgrace they are.

"You two are a disgrace," I told them.

Jools bit her lip and glanced down at the floor while Rollo tried to pull himself together. "No offence Jas," he said, "but we're all grownups now and-"

"That's what I thought," I said interrupting him, "But you two behaving like animals in here while people are out _there_ is not very grown up is it." I said, directing the "people out _there_" bit at Jools so she knew I was meaning her date, Sam.

"Look I'm sorry I didn't mean for it to happen it was stupid ok! Don't tell anyone please!" Jools tried to bargin with me.

However it was Rollo that answered next. "Didn't mean for it to happen?" He exclaimed, "You were practically drooling all over me!"

"How dare you!" Jools shouted in return, "You think you have so much control over me? Well control this, I'm leaving... with my _boyfriend_!"

Rollo gave a harsh laugh as Jools stormed out the room, "What? The boyfriend that does nothing for you?"

I heard Jools growl or something as she went through the door leaving me with an angry looking Rollo. He opened his mouth to say something to me but this time I beat him to it and ordered, "Just get out."

By this point I _really_ needed to pee in my lucky cubicle.

I thought, or prayed, that all the nonsense that occurred in those toilets would _stay_ in those toilets and not ruin the end of the evening. But as you can guess, I was wrong about that too.

Just a few minutes later Jools was dancing in the arms of Sam which apparently aggravated Rollo just a little too much... in that he felt the need to storm up to them and pull them apart in a much more successful way than what I had tried with him and Jools not long before.

I didn't catch much of what they were talking about (probably because my hands were pressed hard against my ears) but it ended with Dec and Ed rushing over to drag Rollo away. And Jools was looking very dishevelled when Sam seemed to walk off as well leaving her alone on the dance floor. It did make me feel sorry for her, but really she really shouldn't have kissed Rollo.

After that Mabs and Ellen went to get her, making her sit at one end of the room with them. Which, at the time, Gee annoyingly thought was rather funny because there was Jools, Mabs and Ellen sat nearest us glaring at Rollo, Ed and Dec who were pretty much opposite them and glaring back.

_I_ didn't find it funny. It was very, very _not_ funny so in order to prevent anything else happening I prepared to get up and talk to the girls. But Tom got up just before me and said he would handle it. I love him, I _really_ do.

If I tried to look at it from a positive point of view I suppose I could be a tad grateful that it was at the very end of the evening, so even if it did turn the mood rather sour it didn't have to last too long.

On everyone's way out though they would turn to me and whisper "I'm sorry about those people," even if they didn't know them. This, obviously, made me just more embarrassed. My guests were apologising to _me_, and not even the ones that were involved.

Well maybe that's a bit harsh, Jools and Rollo did come up to me and apologise sincerely – though I'm fairly sure it was Tom's doing. Still, they did, and not together thankfully (in their apologies they seemed to come to the conclusion that it was not their fault but the other one's – I didn't say anything.)

That was all on Sunday night, it's now Wednesday and these 'issues' as such have not gone away, hence me feeling a bit unwell. I'm just so glad I can get away from it all on my honeymoon with Tom.

Robbie is looking after the house for us while we're away and apparently Rosie and Sven have decided to stay on longer. Without asking I should add, though I guess with the whole Jools/Rollo problem I'm not _too_ bothered about them. Probably a mistake but at least I won't have to worry about it for another few weeks.

This morning I'd been into town to grab a few last minute things for the honeymoon to come home to find a weeping Jools in the arms of Rosie, Gee, Mabs and Ellen. God knows how all of them got there in the short time I'd been away. I thought Jools, Mabs and Ellen had already left to go back down south or wherever they are currently at.

"What's going on?" I asked to which I received many not-so pleasant glares. Jools just looked at me and burst into tears all over again.

"Sam broke up with me," She managed to say and I couldn't help but join the others in comforting her then. I didn't even realise she liked him _that_ much. But I guess that shows she does.

"I went to see Rollo..." Ok maybe not. "...I told him," she spluttered, "but he said he d-d-didn't want me either."

Oh dear. No wonder Jools was in a mess. Crikey.

She then went on to tell us all that for the past five years she has in fact been in touch with Rollo through varies ways and even met up with him on occasions. And no, this didn't stop once she started to date Sam.

Sam even proposed not long ago apparently but of course, Jools said no. And we all know why.

I think Mabs knew about the whole Jools/Rollo situation because she was looking a bit nervous and shifty herself when Jools was blurting everything out. Now _she_ could have warned me prior to the wedding. That would have been nice. But I won't hold it against her I guess since really it's Jools that's in the wrong, not her.

Not that I'll tell Jools that. She's still at mine now, crushed and weeping. Gee has gone back to her house – she said she had some stuff to take care of though she didn't seem to keen to do it. Still, I'm sure it's done now whatever it is.

I don't know what Jools is going to do or anything but for some reason I found myself staying that they are all welcome to stay at mine while they get themselves sorted. Where the heck did that come from? Me and Tom'll probably come home to a wrecked house.

Still, I just want to get away from the humiliations now. Bring on the honeymoon.

**Dave**

I think my life has revolved around humiliations. I pretty much hopped from one to the other constantly as I grew up. Being embarrassed isn't something that fazes me. Hell, when I was younger I used to _love_ it. But I was a comedian of sorts. The funny guy; that was me.

And I guess it served me well considering I'm now a columnist, meaning I get paid to be funny and play on my embarrassing moments in the past – so yeah, the funny background is useful. I work for a national newspaper so I'm never really set in one location. I don't mind I guess, it's not as if I have anything that ties me down to a certain area.

Although very recently I've been hoping that _that_ will change.

I still haven't found what I'm looking for. Both things in fact. For one, Gee still won't tell me who's Bry's dad is although she's assured me that a paternity test will not be necessary. I can't help feeling that she's just going to turn around and humiliate me just a bit more by saying that in fact she's not going to tell me. Me or Robbie; though I don't really want to think about him.

As for the second thing on my list, well that's just about as embarrassing; if not more because it appears I seem to know even less about that than the Bryony matter. Still, I'm used to it all in my life by now.

I was round at Gee's today. I was also round after the wedding which was altogether more... enjoyable (I think) because Robbie wasn't there like he was an hour ago. Gee, of course, was all nervy and stuttery, though at least I got to know why – she said she was going to tell Bryony who her dad was as soon as she got in from school.

And sure enough Bryony turned up not long after which I am grateful for because it meant I didn't have to be in the same room as Robbie for too long. That wouldn't have been too good by all accounts.

I can't understand much of what's happening right now. But mostly I just nod my head and roll with it – that's how I've always coped in the past. Well mostly.

I'm waiting for a call or anything from Gee. I need to know. I really do. Even if I'm not sure what I'll do if Bry is my daughter, or even if she isn't. I've never pictured myself as a dad. I never thought I _wanted_ to be a dad. I don't even know if I do now.

But one way or another I guess I sort of am... I just need more information about both circumstances. I've half found my way through one and now I should move onto the other.

And I think I have a head way. I _think_ that I'm making a bit of progress. Who knows, this time next week maybe I'll have all my answers. I hope that'll be a positive thing for me. Though I don't know which answers would make me happy.

I guess I'll have to wait and see.

**Now do you want to hear more from Dave? Or just have little snippets here and there like this? Let me know... and why is he acting rather mysterioussss? hmmm**

**And I would much appreciate it if you amazing guys would go onto my profile & vote for who you want to be Bry's dad & who you want Gee to end up with...**

**and let me know all your theories/ponderings surrounding any of the characters in this story - I think that's why I love it so much, there's dramas going on left, right & centre. **

**horns out ;)**


	9. Changes

**Ok so I know I've been like the least active person over the last month (or however long it's been since my last update) so sorry about that but I'm here! and have bring excuses... what a gift I know...**

**see first it was my 18th birthday weekend (woop!) but then right after that I became ill & was pretty much as useful as a slug for a week... not good... just beginning to feel better now. **

**but I'm here! and I'm updating finally so thanks for waiting... also some good & bad news:**

***BAD: I'm taking a break from this story after the next chapter (10 in total). NO, i'm NOT stopping, just taking a break then I will return with the 2nd half of this story. I just need time to focus on the work I've missed being ill & do some other stuff8**

***GOOD: speaking of other stuff, I was reading through my first story - Crashing PANTS & Crushing Camels and have decided to get started on the threquel once I've done the next chapter of this. Also, while I remember let me apologise for the awful grammer & lack of spell check in that old story (and probably this one too... :o ) Hopefully I'm a better writer now... hopefully... (:**

**Changes**

**Sunday 4****th**** October**

**Libby**

My first week of Uni is over and it's safe to say it's _nothing_ like I thought it would be. I must remind myself to change my opinions of things in the future. Because trust me, I couldn't have been more wrong about this.

I arrived around lunch time on Monday, depressed and scared no end because I was arriving later than everyone else and had recently been embarrassed beyond recognition. But now I know I shouldn't have been worried, not at all.

And as for Robbie, despite what I'm feeling at the moment, I know I should be grateful to him. I don't know exactly how it happened, but coming to Uni and reflecting over how things were left... I just felt a _change_ as cheesy as that sounds. Suddenly I didn't care anymore – I became strangely confident and assure of myself, something I don't think I've ever felt. And I guess I owe it to Robbie in a weird kind of way.

I'm not sure exactly what it was that I felt for him, maybe I never will know. And I don't even know if I'm over him as such... but getting there maybe... yes.

Fresher's week was nothing like I imagined – and I mean that in a positive way. I can't believe everything I've been missing out on as a teenager; dancing, parties, having _fun_. I hate to admit it but Bryony was right – I _didn't_ have fun before.

But that's changed now. And I want to do everything I can to make sure I am a fun person and I have fun – even if it'll be quite tricky changing from the old me to the _old _old me at first. But if there's a place to do that, it's Uni alright. I've drank more this week than I have in a lifetime. I mean, me and the girls used to drink a bit of wine here and there but never _drink_ drink like I have done here.

I have to say, it wasn't the most thrilling thing, throwing up in a toilet at half five in the morning just after getting in on your first night in a new town but I guess it _is_ part of the whole ritual welcoming into Uni right? Well I'll say it is whenever anyone asks. If I tell them that is.

I've met some great people so far... and some not so great ones. I've already made friends with the majority of people on my corridor, especially with one girl in particular called Holly. It's quite odd really, because she's not the sort of person I would usually be friends with – she's the sort of person _Gee_ would be friends with. She's loud and crazy and _fun_, and the fun people's definition of fun, not my fun. Although like I've said that's all changing now...

I've not spoken to my parents or anyone since Monday. That's how mad it is here. And I'm not even that intimidated by it all, although I think that's mostly due to my desire to down as much alcohol as possibly on my first night in order to forget about Robbie.

But hey, it worked! And now I've settled in... I like to think.

I've finally been able to relax today after a hard week of partying – it's harder than you'd think; harder that I'd _thought_! But no going out tonight because lectures and stuff are starting tomorrow. I think I should give mum and dad a ring now but I want to ring Gee first – I'm guessing she would appreciate all the things I have to tell her (me getting wasted etc) a lot more than my parents would.

So yeah, Gee it is.

"Hello?" Someone answers and I feel all the crazy and fun and happy progress I've made in the past week suddenly slip away beneath me. But I won't let it go. No.

"Oh hi Robbie," I say as casually as I can manage... which is probably not casual at all but at least I managed to get some coherent words out.

Robbie takes his time in answering and I don't know whether it makes me feel happy or not that he is possibly nervous about speaking to me. But I guess he knows it's me because next he says;

"Err right... sure, erm, do you want me to get Gee?"

I pause then and decide what would be the best thing to say, deliberating how far to take my new found confidence. "Whatever," I eventually spit out though immediately regret it as it didn't sound casual or aloof like I intended but more like a common chav. Great. "How are you?" I add, apparently braver than I originally thought.

I can hear Robbie walking through my sister's house as he takes his time to answer, making me wonder for the first time what he's actually _doing _at Gee's house answering her phone. Not that I care or anything.

"Erm great," he says though it's clearly a lie. Is that good or bad? "I... how are you finding Uni?" he asks and suddenly a feel an urge to hit him. Not that it's possible. But still...

"It's amazing!" I blurt out, scaring myself with my own enthusiasm. I really _have_ changed. "Everyone is nice and the town is great and I can't wait to start my course tomorrow."

"Well that's fantastic," Robbie tells me and I think he's being sincere. "I'll hand you over to Gee now... bye Libby."

I frown despite myself and just manage to mutter, "bye," back before Gee grabs the phone in order to shout, "HELOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" at me. You know, just to make sure I don't have any hearing at all when going to my first lectures tomorrow.

"Hello," I say back, a whisper in comparison.

"Libs!" She screams, "How are you!?"

"Erm... fine... good... great!" I stutter, finally deciding on the right word. "You were right Gee – Uni is really good and it's so much better now I'm here."

Gee laughs down the phone, "Well you know, not everyone's got a noggin' like mine."

I smile without realising at hearing her voice and say, "So what have I missed at home?" Although come to think of it perhaps that's not the _best_ question to ask...

"It's... up and down," Georgia says a lot more reserved this time. It makes me wonder if Robbie is still in the room and she's holding back because of that. Unless he left? Unless he doesn't leave anymore?

Oh shit – what if he's _living_ with her? I mean he told me he _loved_ her? But has he told her that? Is that why he's round at her house? Are they _together_ together? I have to know.

But I can't ask. Can I? She _is_ my sister. And he is... well he's... Robbie... urgh...

"What's Robbie doing round?" I say before thinking enough to stop myself.

Gee isn't really phased by the question though. I mean why would she be? This clearly shows that Robbie hasn't said anything about the kissing incident. I don't know if that makes me happy or sad...

"Oh he's just saying hey," Georgia answers casually, "He seems to be doing that a lot recently. Still it's all gravy goodness, Robbie is cool."

Ok so I guess he's not in the room because I know Gee wouldn't say that about Robbie in front of him.

"Yeah..." I mutter, "so are you two... erm... well you know..." Am I even making sense?

Well to Gee I apparently am (not that she makes sense most of the time) because next she says, "No... not really..." she pauses then says, "well not at all in fact." She doesn't sound happy about it though, she sounds sad... or confused even... "But I think-"

I interrupt her then. I think I know what she was going to say and so I don't want her to _say_ it. Ok that came out rather weirdly but I know what I mean. No matter what 'changes' I've made this week I really don't think I'm ready to hear my sister talking about her feelings for Robbie or the possibilities of them getting together. No.

So yeah I interrupt her by saying, "Oh sorry Gee I have to dash" (what a stupid word – why am I using it?) "I'll call soon though ok?"

Georgia doesn't answer for a few seconds and I just _know _that she's nodding down the phone like I can see her.

"Oh right yeah!" She eventually blabbers, "Sure thing, have fun at Uni!"

"Thanks," I say before hanging up, "Say hi to everyone for me." Well... _almost_ everyone.

I am so weak. Why can't I just forget about him? But I _did _forget about him! It's not fair, why did he have to answer the bloody phone? Idiot. Well that's not fair he's really an idiot. But strangely enough calling him one did just make me feel a little better. Funny how the mind works isn't it?

"Hey Liberty!" Someone just shouted from the corridor. Speaking of idiots... here is an _actual_ one.

He's called Justin and one of the 'not so great' people I mentioned before - possibly because he is probably the most egotistical, cockiest boy on the planet. Oh, and he is definitely _not_ shy when it comes to showing an interest in the opposite sex. I wonder how my STDs he's got... well actually I'd rather not think about it.

He's been trying to get into Holly's kickers all week. I'm not really sure her view on things other than she likes to flirt but has assured me it'll never go _that_ far with him. She's very in control over things like that though – maybe I should try and stand up for myself more – it'd fit in with the 'changed' me after all.

I repeat this to myself as I open the door to my room, ready to face whatever Justin is planning to throw at me.

**Robbie**

I can't believe it's been a whole week since the wedding. Although I suppose not _that_ much has happened exactly. Well not for normal people but for me, it seems like a lot. I mean for one I'm staying in a house with Rosie, Sven, Jools, Mabs and Ellen which is strangely amusing – I'm not normally one for the whole crazy side of things but it's actually not too bad. In fact I _like_ it.

And I guess this is one of the many reasons why I've changed my mind. I was going to leave you see; I was going to carry on travelling like I've always done with my line of work. But this past week has made me realise I don't _want_ to leave. I don't want to keep moving constantly and never have a friend on the doorstep or neighbours I don't know the first names of.

So I've decided to stay – _here_. I'm not sure exactly how it'll work at the moment, and that thought is definitely scary. But I've made the commitment – I quit my job yesterday. Luckily they took it well, thanked me for my work and even promised to write a reference which I'm very grateful for.

And as rude as it is, I'm sure Jas and Tom won't mind if I carry on staying for a while after they get back until I find a place of my own. I mean if I can look after this place with the most eccentric people on earth living in it then I'm sure staying out of my brother's and Jas' way won't be too much of a problem.

I know things are going to be tough at first. What with me being house-less and job-less. But I'm prepared to be positive and work through it all. I can't wait to tell everyone – Tom will be happy, he's been coaxing me to come 'home' for years. Well, now he'll get his wish.

That's why I'm round at Gee's at the moment – I've come to tell her that I'm staying put. I don't know why but I wanted her to be the first one to know. Well, actually I _do_ know why – it's because, (as I so perfectly admitted to her little sister who I may have kissed) I love her.

And besides that 'drama', if one would call it that, there's the thing with Bryony. Georgia still hasn't told me or Dave who her father is – although I have to say it seems to aggravate him a lot more than me. I really am quite shocked by his reaction (not that I've said anything) – it's definitely very, _very_ different than what Georgia said he was like the first time he found out anything. Although to be fair that was fourteen years ago.

Part of me is glad that I finally admitted (albeit not to the most ideal person) that I'm in love with Georgia. I think it's one of those things that most people prefer to keep inside them and hide – especially with the sort of circumstances surrounding us.

I feel like I'm acting differently – well I _am_. But I don't want to be. It's just annoying and I feel like there's something holding me back. It's almost as if I need her to know how I feel before I can continue normally again.

But of course I'm way too much of a wuss to put myself out there just yet. So I think I'll settle for telling her the staying here thing.

"So I have something to tell you," I say when Gee puts down the phone after talking to Libby.

She nods at me, "Oh yeah, go ahead."

"I don't have a job," I say for some reason – possibly the most stupid way of describing my news – and why do I feel a sweat coming on? Why am I nervous about _this_?

Gee frowns, "What do you mean you- did you get fired?" She asks worriedly.

I shake my head feeling exactly like the idiot I'm now portraying, "No, no, I fired myself- I quit!" I managed to get out, "I quit."

I can tell Georgia is holding back a grin when she says, "Why?" Apparently my situation is amusing to her. Great.

"Because..." I try to find the right words, "Because I don't want to move around anymore. I want to stay in one place. Here."

Gee's face breaks but I'm thankful that it's formed a smile. "You're going to live here? Forever?"

I nod quickly, willing her to be enthused by the development.

And I guess she is because the next thing she does is run over to me and throw her arms around my neck, hugging me happily.

"That's fantastic!" She says before pulling away from me, "Where are you going to live?"

I shrug, "Not sure at the moment but I'm looking – hopefully Jas and Tom will take me in," I grin and she does back. It suddenly makes my heart hurt.

"So is Libby ok?" I ask to distract myself and because I want to know whether Libby has said anything about... well me and her.

Gee waves her hand around casually as she moves to sit down at the table. I join her. "Oh she's fine." Georgia says, "I knew she would be."

"Good... good" and reply then really decide to push my luck by saying, "And you? Are you ok?"

She frowns momentarily before trying to smile again, "Of course... why wouldn't I be?" she says, her voice breaking just a little bit.

"Well it's just..." oh no what am I saying? "... you haven't told us yet... about... about Bryony."

Georgia snaps her head up suddenly to meet my eyes before looking away again as a silent answer. I should stop right then of course and not say anything else but of course I can't...

"I know it's not easy but if you've told her then you should..." I run my hand through my hair, agitated, "it's been four days."

Then Gee suddenly shakes her head before putting it into her hands. Oh shit I've upset her.

"I didn't tell her," she mumbles, "I _couldn't_ tell her."

I frown a bit then and wonder out loud, "What do you mean?"

"She wouldn't let me," Gee exasperates, "She said she didn't to know which one of you is her dad."

A little something triggers in me then and I say, "But she knows it's me or Dave?" That would explain why she's been a little shifty around me these last few days.

Georgia nods without looking at me so I shift round to put a hand on her arm, "Don't worry, I'm sure she'll come round."

Gee leans against me a bit and mumbles, "I'm not sure she will. She can get very set in her ways you know?"

I laugh and give her a little nudge, "Kind of like someone else I know then?"

Georgia breaks a smile then and it pleases me no end. Then we just sit together for a while in silence before Gee speaks again saying;

"She said I could tell you two though." My body suddenly tenses. This is it? She's going to tell me? Now? I'm going to know...

I try to keep my voice from shaking as I say, "N-now?" but it's rather pointless because Georgia shakes her head.

"No. But soon," she promises. "I will very soon."

And against my better judgement I believe her.

**Gee**

Ok so things have started to change a whole lot recently. Every fandango is being turned upside down. How strange. For one, I've seen Dave and Robbie more times in the past week than I have... well since I was an ickle kid of around fifteen years old. Oh how time flies.

And it's quite scary bananas saying this but I think I've actually gotten used to having the both being around – fair enough it's normally at different times but you get the nub and gist. Robbie was just here this second actually and five guesses as to what topic came up non-shockingly? Oh yeah, the 'daddy' one. Crap.

And I accidentally told him that Bry doesn't know – or rather _refused_ to know. Which now means that I have somehow dug myself into a hole where I will be put with Robbie and Dave and not be allowed out until I tell them which one is Bryony's vati even though she won't know. Which is silly. And stupid.

Seeing Dave and Robbie again has made me feel a tad funny _again_. I really thought I was maturing and gaining so much sophis-ness. But apparently Big G was just messing with me. How rude. But I can't believe what I've been missing... I really am enjoying having both of them back in my life again. Not that I'd ever admit that of course – I still have my glaciosity... ish.

There's something else as well that's making me... think. (Wow, I know). You see I was round at Jas' the other day when Jools was there weeping over Rollo and Sam and... well it made me think about my own situation – or how it used to be with Dave and Robbie. She was so crushed because she'd gone from having them both to having no one... and trust me if anyone does, _I_ know what that feels like, even if it didn't exactly pan out like that for me before.

But it still made me think about me and Dave and Robbie _now_. And I guess I'm scared to my inner nungas that something will happen and cause another argument and that I'll lose both of them forever. That would suck. And I know Bryony is being off with both of them (again due to the Vati issues) but I just wish she'd come around and spend a bit of time with them. I think she'd really like them. Well actually I _know_ she would because she already did like Robbie... before all this mess.

Still Robbie was positive. He seems to think Bry'll change her mind. Maybe I'll get him to speak to her... or maybe Libs – Bry listens to her.

Speaking of Libs she rang earlier – seems to be enjoying herself at Uni just like moi said she would. Like people needed more convincing – I'm clearly le genius and mastermind. At least now I can use that in an argument though...

Corr I'm tired. And slightly worried. I've not seen Bryony all day. Well actually that's a lie since I did see her this morning after ever so accidentally waking her up. But is it really my fault if my devil-ridden straighteners burn me and hence force me to run into my daughter's room screaming for water?

No, it's not. Blame the straighteners.

Anyway after she grudgingly got out of bed (which in itself is a pretty big shocker since Bryony is actually the morning person) she slammed right out her room and into the bathroom. And I wasn't going to disturb her in there. I've learnt from Vati's beardy mistakes.

She soon came out though just ten minutes later – how in the name of all things clean does she get ready so fast? It'd take me ten minutes to run my bath water alone. And after that I heard Bry rush to her room, get dressed (super speedily again) before running out the house.

She didn't even tell me where she was going! She _always_ tells me! Most of the time I don't actually listen but she does always tell me...

I think I have a slight inkling as to where she was heading though... see I was vair sneaky and sneaked into her room like a sneaky thing when she was in the bathroom to find a birthday card on her desk. And then I realised that it's her best friend Callum's birthday today.

Well if they are still friends, which I thought they weren't... but I haven't had chance to really ask her about it because of the whole Vati issues going on right now. But there's a pretty good possibility it was for Callum since he had a birthday around the same time last year... maybe...

Bryony has been away a long while though. She left at quarter to 11ish and it's now gone five. I wonder what she's up to. Should I be worried? Or should I be happy that my daughter has found such a useful way of spending many, many hours with her friend.

Ok I don't like the sound of that.

Drat why doesn't she have a mobile phone? I could ring her. I must make a note to get her one for her next birthday, or bribe someone else into doing it. That'll make her super duper happy and possibly even make up for the whole Dave/Robbie business. I'm sure I would have liked my Vati sehr sehr more if he had given me a mobile.

Po and Hunky are back from their honeymoon... god knows when. If they have any sense they'll extend it from two weeks to ten. Especially with what they have to come home to. It's like rats have overtaken their house. Scary.

There's Robbie... Rosie... Sven... Ellen... Mabs... and Jools. Now all that is just asking for trouble if you ask me. Not that many people do...

It's no wonder Robbie has spent so much time over at mine. I would too. Plus he's been giving me regular updates. For instance I learnt from him this morning that Jools stopped blubbing on Friday and is now suddenly on a cooking craze. As in she's just constantly making food every second of the day.

I am so in the wrong house right now. They all got fed huge helpings of Yorkshire puddings yesterday for tea. Me and Bryony had beans on toast. Although it was tip top if I say so myself and I do.

Robbie says it's her way of dealing with all the breakup-stuff. Fair does. But I'd be able to support her much more if she came over here and cooked. I told Robbie to tell her that. He laughed.

I was serious.

Mabs is apparently missing her "toy boy" as well. She'll be off soon then to get some action. Some people only think of themselves.

Oh my lord Sandra this is good! I just found a postcard on the floor of the hall from JASSY! How ridiculously sad is that?! She's on her honeymoon yet is bothering to send _postcards_. Oh dear. Maybe Hunky is not all that in the bedroom department.

Not that I really want to think about that right now. Or... ever for that matter. Ew.

My life is clearly already messed up enough without having Po and Hunky's unfortunate sex life in my head. GO AWAY!

**Bry**

Ok so this is weird. Things have so changed. So much.

Since right now, instead of handing over a birthday card to my best friend's fourteenth birthday I am sitting in a random field with someone who I used to hate but who now, as it turns out, has quite a bit in common with me.

Yes, I'm with Nathan. Don't get me wrong, I didn't _plan_ to meet up with him – but as I was approaching Cal's house to give him his card I saw Nathan come out. That didn't help my already miserable mood. And I'm pretty sure I took it out on him. But surprisingly enough he didn't hate me or anything.

In fact he took me to one side (or one field) and helped cool me down. Plus he was told by Callum to tell me some rather... crappy news apparently. See basically Cal feels sorry for me since he thinks I love him which I think is pretty arrogant of him since I only said I felt the same way he did – although I also said I thought he liked me.

But the point is he thinks it'll be better for us both if we don't hang out as much. Which is stupid and ridiculous and annoying because I was going to stay away from him anyway! Well after giving him his birthday card. And no there was not a little part of me that thought maybe he would see me and like me again... not a bit.

I can't believe I'm here with Nathan though. Not fighting. Actually getting along. So weird.

"My dad wants to get in touch with me," he said, carrying on the conversation from while I was daydreaming.

I shrugged. Better to not seem too intrigued right? It's only messed up dad stuff like I have. Except not as bad.

"So do you think I should meet with him?"

I turned and raised my eyebrows at him, "Are you seriously going to listen to my opinion anyway because you know what it'll be."

Nathan gave a small smile, "Fair enough. I have already agreed to meet him. I just don't understand why you don't get all this."

I sighed. Here we go again. I should ban these sorts of talks, "Look I just don't care about my dad ok."

"But surely you want to know a little bit?" Nathan pressed. Oh yeah he knows about the whole who's my dad thing. Dave? Robbie? Dave? Robbie? Yeah that stuff. And yeah he wants me to find out. Nosy bugger.

"Nope." I said standing up, "And I have to go now. I'm afraid you've managed to make me uncomfortable."

Nathan grinned. I wasn't joking. "Fine... but think about it."

"Of course, of course," I said dramatically as I walked away. Just when I thought things couldn't change anymore, I'm making jokes with Nathan. Odd.

Now, which way's home?

**Thanks everyone, I know it wasn't as long but another one is coming up - a good one! before a break.**

**I know I'm officially a moaner now but PLEASE please keep reviewing I really appreciate it. Your reviews make me smileeeee xD**

**Horns out! ;)**


	10. Revelations

**Ok so yes I know this is later than any piece of writing can probably ever be and I am sorry about that. Although I'm sure a few of you felt better writing those angry reviews - and if they didn't, whatever. I know I may deserve them for taking my time and I'm sorry, but I really have been busy. **

**For those of you who waited for this chapter then I thank you, you are the reason I write fanfictions :)**

**And on that note, I really don't know what to do after this. So please, if you are still interested in my work, let me know what you would like to read of mine next,**

**Thank you for your time, it's much appreciated,**

**Enjoy **

**horns out ;) **

**Revelations**

**Thursday 8****th**** October**

**Bryony**

My life at school is now a joke. I mean, before it was slightly fun and a tad interesting but now there is absolutely nothing worth going for. Well, besides the education but I don't need that.

And no, I'm not going all rebellious and 'breaking out' or anything. Quite the contrary I'm being a complete loser and am spending half my life in my room working because I have nothing better to do. Or so it seems.

But yeah, school... I have lost my one and only friend; Callum. Not only is he not being friendly with me anymore but he's basically ignoring my existence. And maybe I'm just being paranoid but I'm pretty sure he's doing his best to erase every bit of 'me' from his life.

For instance, me and him always used to moan about the rubbish refectory food and would specially sneak round the back of the art block to eat our home-made sandwiches in peace.

But this week, this week I've found him sitting in the cafeteria with all his 'new' friends (because I'm so easily replaceable) eating the stupid crappy food they sell there. I know I'm only thirteen so not technically an 'expert' but I'm pretty sure your taste buds can't change in the matter of a week or so.

And that's another thing; suddenly Cal is 'super' popular. I don't get. Sure, before he had a lot of friends, but not really close ones – he was just the sort of person that everyone could get on with. But now, it's like he's a bloody celebrity and only seems to travel round in packs. Odd.

Nathan. There's a different topic, though in some ways entwined. It's strange but I think I quite like him now – when's he's not being a prick of course. But oddly enough he's managed to keep that to a minimum over the last few days. At school he's in the "Cal crowd" as I know call it but he still gives me a small smile every now and then. True, it is when no one else is looking but the thought is there.

We've been seeing each other after school a bit as well. I reckon he feels sorry for me since I officially have no friends my age on the face of the earth... but so far I haven't scared him away.

Also I think it's because of our similar 'dad' situation. He planned to meet his you see. In fact it was today – just after school. I'm not usually this nosy but I'm actually intrigued as to how it went. So much so that I may even be looking forward to seeing him.

But only to find out the gossip as such. Of course.

I'm sat on my bed at the moment, going through more homework. Well actually using the word 'more' is a pretty false definition. I'm just going over everything from lessons because I've finished all my 'set' homework and like I said earlier – my life is a sham and I'm a loser with nothing interesting to do anymore.

Georgia is worried about me. I know because she keeps sticking her head in my room every five minutes and yes she is naturally nosy but she's never been _that _nosy before. It's very annoying. I now understand what it was like for her in the diaries with her 'Vati' popping in _all_ the time.

Although I can't be too sympathetic considering it's exactly what she's doing to me now.

And she keeps trying to corner me and trying to change my mind about the whole 'dad' problem. Which I will not cave on by the way. I don't care whether it was Robbie or Dave that _knocked up my mum_ (oh god I hate that phrase). They were clearly both there around the time which is both... weird and strangely eww. But I refuse to dwell on whether my mum was 'cheating' or not. Although it did say in her diary she was last going out with Dave...

Oh whatever I don't care. At the moment I'm not upset with Gee at all.

Though I suppose that could change depending on whether she barges into my room in the next few minutes.

"Bry Bry"

Oh. So does this mean I'm 'in a tiff' with her then?

"Bry!" Gee shouted for the third time as she opened my door. Without knocking I may say. She really is liking invading my personal space right now.

"Yes?" I answered though refused to look up from my "homework". This is me being rude.

"Someone's on the phone for you," she said one in my room.

I snapped my head up to see her holding the phone, which would make sense if someone was on it. But who?

Did Callum ring? Has he decided he can't live without me and wants to be friends again? It would make sense, we've been best friends since... I can't even remember, so maybe he now knows that you can't just throw all that away. Because you can't. It's not right.

Yes, that's why he's ringing...

I rushed off my bed and grabbed the phone from Gee. She gave me the amused raised-eyebrows look before heading out into the corridor again. Wow, space. I'd forgotten what this was like. Although knowing Gee she'll probably be pressed against the other side of my door. Ahh well...

I sat tentatively on the edge of my bed while raising the phone to my ear, "Hello?" I practically whispered.

"Erm... hi Bryony." Nathan?

"Nathan?"

"Err yeah, that would be me." Oh.

"Oh."

He coughed, "Right, nice to speak to you too."

Oh crap. "Sorry," I said, "I just wasn't expecting you," I said, trying hard not to sound too disappointed.

"Of course you weren't," Nathan said, though not in the light, humorous tone I was hoping for. In fact he sounded rather agitated. "I need to see you," He blurted out, causing me to frown. I've known Nathan to be blunt before but this is just weird.

"Ok..." I began, not knowing quite what to say, "...do I get to know why?"

"No... not now." He said, exasperated, "I'll tell you later. Just, please come."

Ok he's actually worrying me a bit now, "Come where?" I asked.

"Erm..." he paused, "to the park. By the river ok?"

"Yeah alright," I said wondering why he chose the place that is mine and Callum's. Although didn't he say he'd been going there for a long time too? Just at night in the dark... creepy...

"Great, I'll see you in ten minutes," Nathan finished before putting the phone down.

Ten minutes? Great, so I guess I'm off out then. I could have been very busy at this current moment in time but does Nathan care about that? No, of course he doesn't.

But he did seem to be acting very strangely. So I will probably go there. Maybe.

Sat with my legs dangling over the river bank. He's not even here! Why isn't he here? This had better not be some sort of weird set-up as some kind of sick jok-

"Bryony!" I heard someone, Nathan, call. I turned around quickly to see him rushing over to where I was sat. I stood up at once, taking in the weary look on his face with apprehension. "You came." He registered.

_Top marks to you_, I felt like saying. But didn't. I don't think he would appreciate it too much at this current time. "Yeah..." I said shrugging, "I'm here... what do you want?"

Nathan stopped about three metres away from me. What's with the weird gap? Am I suddenly contagious or something? How rude that boy is. "I need to tell you something," he said quietly, making me instantly more curious than I already was.

Maybe it's about Callum! Perhaps Cal told Nathan something that he just has to pass on to me. Like how much Cal loves me or something. It could happen...

"Yes?" I said, taking an eager step forward, only to watch Nathan take a similar one backwards. Excuse me? What's up with _him_? "What's the matter with you?" I spat, annoyed with his behaviour.

Nathan closed his eyes for a moment before looking up to meet my gaze. "I met my dad."

Oh great, so now it's his daddy issues getting him down and he wants my help. Probably because I act like I don't give a toss about mine. Makes sense. Though shouldn't he be talking to someone he's closer with about stuff like this? Even if I do have a tad bit of experience in this area.

"Good for you," I said indifferently.

Nathan wouldn't tear his gaze from mine. But he wouldn't say anything else either. How infuriating.

"What?" I practically yelled. "Why are you staring at me like that?"

Nathan took a deep breath before taking a small step in my direction, saying as he went; "I think you need to know something about him."

**Gee**

A lot of weirder than weird things are happening today. Like earlier, after some boy phoned up and asked to speak to Bryony she took off out the house without so much of an explanation. Again. She's turning into quite the rebel chid.

I don't whether to be disappointed or proud. Those two really shouldn't co-inside should they?

And then there's the latest occurrence – or occurrences. Two of them. And they are both currently sitting in my living room.

It wasn't even like they gave me a choice as well. When I opened the door Dave basically barged past me saying something or other that I didn't quite catch and then Robbie slid in also – though at least at the decency to give me an apologetic look.

And now I'm heading back into that dreaded room like the twit I am. What are they doing here? They have no right to come into my house like this it's.... it's.... well it's not right is what it is. Or isn't...

"You're telling us now," Dave suddenly said, pointing his finger at me in a rather rude manner. I scowled at him and went to take a seat on the sofa. Dave frowned back but at least sat down opposite me.

"No," I told him, and sent a look Robbie's way as well to let him know I was talking to both of them. "I said I would tell Bryony first and she doesn't know yet so I can't tell you."

Robbie coughed awkwardly then, "I know Gee but-"

Dave cut him off. "I don't care what you said. You need to tell us." He gave me an exasperated look. "Georgia I _need_ to know. Please, I need to know so I can clear my head."

How weird.

"You owe me this." He said quietly, causing Robbie to frown to his left.

"What?" Robbie questioned, "She doesn't owe you _anything_."

Dave diverted his attention from me to Robbie. Oh potatoes. I have a feeling this won't end well.

"Really? Is that what you think?" He spat, standing up and talking a step towards Robbie. He stood up too. Ahh crap.

"Yes it is." Robbie argued. "Why would Georgia owe _you_ anything at all?"

Oooo he didn't say 'you' too nicely. Not nicely at all.

"How about because she SLEPT WITH YOU?"

Oh yeah there was that. But that was like 14 years ago.

"That was over TEN YEARS AGO!" Robbie shouted, "And you have no idea how ashamed she was and how all she wanted was for you to forgive her but you wouldn't! You _gave it up_. She owes you NOTHING!"

Dave gritted his teeth "You have no idea what-"

"SHUT UP BOTH OF YOU!" I screamed. Wow, where did that come from? I am like a tip top controlling-type person who is the boss of her own... oh I don't know there's more important things at hand.

They shut up though. And looked at me in shock. Ok...

I looked down at my shoes because meeting either one of their eyes would be too awkward. "I... Dave's right. I... I should tell you guys."

--------

_Dave smiles as I approach him. It's gorgey and makes me go a tad wobbly in the knees but I manage to carry on walking. _

"_Sex Kitty," he grins, "To what do I owe your presence on this fine evening?" _

_He's so happy. I almost don't tell him then. I certainly don't want to. I can't do this to him. _

_Dave must notice my reaction because his face suddenly turns serious and he takes one of my hands with his. "Gee what's wrong?"_

_I avoid his eyes and look down at the ground. I can't do it I can't do it. But of course I have to... I..._

_A tear drops falls down my cheek and Dave wipes it away with his finger which makes me want to actually die inside. He pulls me forward into a deep hug and just holds me for a while. Until I speak that is. And I know that everything will change. _

_"I'm pregnant." I say and right on cue Dave's body tenses around mine. I shut my eyes and hope that he won't react in a... well any way that I'm imagining in my head right now. _

"_You... erm, what?" Dave questions, pulling out of the hug but still keeping hold of my hand. He looks at me in a way that's asking me to tell him he misheard and I'm not really pregnant. I wish I could tell him that. I really do. _

_But instead I just nod my head slowly and more tears roll down my face. This time Dave doesn't wipe them away and my hand seems to fall out of his. "But... no, I mean we... oh my god," he mutters and I have a feeling it's to himself rather than me. So I just stand there not looking at him while he processes the news. _

_After an eternity Dave turns properly to me again and says, "Well do you... I mean, what should we do? I think there's some stuff available..."_

_I frown at him. He's not making any sense. Well not that I blame him. Then he continues;_

"_I mean I guess you want to erm... well you know... but we'll have to tell someone first... before..."_

_Now I really frown because in all that crap he just said I think I understand what he's saying. He's talking about getting rid of it. Just like that. What about m-_

_Hold on a pigging moment. What am I saying? Do I even want to keep the baby? Why do I feel... why am I upset that Dave is suggesting we get rid of it? This... this is all wrong... it should be... like we should..._

_Great, now I'm making even less sense than Dave. _

"_I... you think I should get rid of it?" I say in a whisper and look into his eyes. _

_He takes his time to answer. Like he's thinking about stuff. I want to quicken him up because I may just die waiting but then very slowly and purposely he nods his head. "I think... I think that would be the best for both of us." Dave finishes and begins walking around in front of me. _

_Maybe if I was thinking rationally and normal and... well as normal as I get when I haven't got a baby growing inside off me... well maybe if I was thinking like all that then I would agree with Dave. Perhaps his suggestion is the right one._

_So why don't I agree? Why do I suddenly want this baby? This is all so confusing. Damn hormones. _

"_I..." I begin and I can feel myself shaking as I say this, "I... would like to think... I want a choice as well."_

_Dave stops walking. He stops and stares at me looking more shocked than I've ever seen him before. Well... not many people would take me for the motherly type I guess..._

"_You want to keep it?" Dave exclaims. _

"_I... I didn't say that," I mutter and for some reason Dave doesn't like that answer. He doesn't like it at all. _

"_Georgia," he says and his voice is louder than before. He begins to walk back towards me, "this isn't a game, this isn't something you can have doubts about. You have to know what you want to do!" _

_I shudder from his shouting and involuntarily take a step back. I try to make my voice louder when I say, "I know that. But it's my baby I want a choice in the matter!"_

"_Well it's my baby too!" Dave screams at me and I freeze. I don't move – I couldn't move even if I wanted to. It's like all my senses and muscles have just frozen. I can't seem to think or do anything but I know that I have to. I have to say something soon otherwise Dave will..._

_But I can't lie about this. I just can't... this is bigger than anything..._

_Dave takes the last step closer to me, scrutinising my frozen self with his eyes. He can tell something is up and I can't turn away from him. His eyes are boring into mine but I can't look away. And soon he's going to know. He wasn't meant to know this... this... he didn't have to know this..._

"_Georgia," he says and it's a cross between anger and fear, "Georgia, tell me it's my baby."_

_I don't speak. I don't move. I don't say anything. And then his face just falls. And it's over like that. He knows. He knows I cheated on him. And I think this time I actually will die just from the look on Dave's face. _

_He steps far away from me and puts his face in his hand before saying, "Who?" really quietly that I almost didn't hear him. I wish I hadn't. I don't answer so he says, "Who?" a lot more forcefully and I know I need to answer. I wouldn't be able to lie right now anyway._

"_Robbie," I whisper and I begin properly crying then. Saying it out loud hurts so much more. I didn't want to hurt Dave. I didn't mean to..._

_Dave sort of gives a sardonic laugh and it goes right through me. "Of course," he mutters in a tone that makes me think he's drunk. But of course he isn't. "It's got to be Robbie... who else right?" _

_I hate this. I want to be anywhere but here. No... Actually I want to be closer to Dave. I want him to not care and say everything will be alright and I want him to hold me like before but for longer and just not think about any of this. _

"_It was always Robbie with you," Dave says and his voice is getting louder again, "I was never good enough was I?!"_

_I shake my head desperately and attempt to walk to towards him but he just edges further back. "You know I'm right."_

_I shake my head again and whisper, "No... No that's not true I swear."_

_Dave gives that horrible laugh again, "Right, because I'm really going to believe you now. Why don't you go celebrate your baby with Robbie."_

_I manage to halt my blubbing for just a few seconds to say, "I never said it was his..."_

"_Oh wonderful!" Dave says clapping his hands together, "So you don't know whose it is? This just gets better. Well let me make it easier for you Georgia." I don't think I want him to. I don't want him to do anything... I don't want... I just..._

_"I don't care whose it is," Dave yells and I think with my tears I probably could cry a bloody river right now. "Because I'm done with this Georgia. With you. We're over, forever. I don't care what you do now with your life because from this moment I'm not in it. Go get rid of the stupid baby – it just represents everything wrong with our relationship."_

_I look up and meet his eyes and it feels like it's for the last time in... Forever like he said. _

_Dave shakes his head one more time and when he speaks his voice is back to a quiet whisper. "I loved you. I trusted you. Even when everything was telling me not to. But I still did. And you... you..." he starts to walk away and doesn't stop "...goodbye Georgia Nicolson."_

_And as I watch him leave I know that he will never stop. He's gone. Forever. _

_And I can't do anything but cry my heart out. _

----------

**Bry**

I don't think I was thinking straight when I was running flat out to my house with Nathan. And then when I saw the cars of both Dave and Robbie outside that didn't help matters.

And to top things off when I opened the door and we both snuck inside we were greeted by angry shouting and yelling and general hateful stuff coming from the lounge. Maybe then I should have just barged straight in there telling them all what I now know. But for some bizarre reason I made Nathan pause so I could listen to what they were saying.

That's when I heard that Gee had in fact cheated on Dave with Robbie. I had suspected it of course, but I guess I never prepared my fully for the proof of it. But there it was, it had happened. And apparently my mum feels worse than anyone for it.

But she's not a bad person, even if she did do that. Her and Robbie had history – I have read her diaries so I do know. And it kind of feels like Robbie is my dad now. Even if it's not been confirmed. It would make sense – it would be a reasonable reason for Gee not wanting to tell Dave and continually putting it off. (This is the message I got from hearing them shout anyway).

I also heard Dave yelling that my mum 'owes' him. How _dare_ he say that to her. How dare he bloody suggest such a thing after what Nathan's just told me. He has _no_ right to. The lying, nasty, horrible man.

I clenched my fists when I heard Gee say that Dave was right. I can't believe he's made her think like that. She doesn't deserve that.

I clenched my fists tighter and resisted the urge to fly into the room and hit Dave. I think I may even have drawn blood – it was stinging a lot.

Nathan put a hand on my arm but I shrugged it off. I had to go in there and tell everyone. And I was going to.

But then Gee spoke again.

"I'll tell you," she whispered, and I leant with my ear pressed to the door – which is weird, because I was _sure_ that I didn't want to know. But I guess I do...

"The father..." she gulped, "Bryony's dad is... it's..." Sniff sniff. "Dave."

**Dave**

Obviously I knew she would tell me at some point, but that doesn't draw away from how much of a shock it all is. Because truthfully I don't know _how_ I should be feeling right now. Should I be happy? Angry? Disappointed?

No, definitely not the last one. No matter what, I know that Bryony is a great kid.

But it doesn't make sense. She's not _supposed _to be mine. It doesn't make sense. All this...everything that's happened was because of _him_, because of _Robbie_. And now... it's like he doesn't even matter.

And it really does leave me in a mess over what to do now. What _is_ there to do now? My whole life has been turned upside down in the past month and there's no way I can get it back to normal. It's all been too much.

No one's spoken yet. Robbie sort of fell down onto the sofa in silence and is staring out the window. And Georgia...she's silent as well but her eyes are full of tears. Again – I don't know what to feel.

But I'm saved from having to figure it out because Gee then speaks again.

"I'm so sorry," she mumbles "I didn't... I didn't want to cheat..." oh. We're back on that. "I don't know what I was thinking... and I know I should have told you sooner but I couldn't. I just couldn't face seeing you again and feeling how I did that last time because I... I..."

I know she feels bad. Really, _really_ bad. And I wish she would stop because despite what she might think, it's really not making me feel any better. If anything, just tonnes worse. Not that she'll realise that. And why would she?

"STOP APOLOGISING!" Someone suddenly shouts and all three of us turn our shocked expressions towards the door where an angry looking Bryony is stood. Great, just what this awkward

Situation needs. And I guess she heard...

"Bryony what are you-" Georgia begins but her daughter cuts her off. _My_ daughter too I guess... that's odd to think.

"Stop apologising when it's HIM that should be doing that!" She yells and with so much force I actually feel intimidated. Although that might just be from what she just said. What does she mean by that?

"Bryony what do you mean?" Gee asks – which is just as well because I wasn't going to.

Bryony turns to glare at me. "_Dave_ has some explaining to do."She growls but that isn't what gets me.

In fact I almost don't notice her words because behind her enters the last person on the planet I would expect, or rather _want_ to find at Georgia's house.

Nathan.

I realise then that my game is up. That no matter what happens I'm at a loss. Everything's going to come and I could potentially lose everything that I've just gained. My whole month will be a wasted one and I'll go back to...

Go back to what? I don't know what...

**Gee**

"I think someone needs to explain something," Robbie says causing me to notice his presence in the room for a long while.

I nod in agreement and turn to Bryony. She doesn't look happy. "Bryony tell me what you mean."

She doesn't take her eyes off Dave but he is focused on Bry's friend, Nathan. What's up with that?

"Dave cheated on you mum." Bryony says. And the words sound even more foreign because she hardly ever calls me 'mum'.

"What?" I snap, glancing between Dave and Bryony quickly. What is that girl on about? How would she have _any _idea of what Dave did or didn't do when we were going out? This doesn't make sense.

"It's true," Bryony continues, and I see Dave rub his head gingerly. "Because Nathan here is his _son_."

My body freezes over to some effect as I register the teenage boy stood just behind my daughter. This cannot be happening – it can't be true.

"How... how old are you?" I manage to ask and I see Dave about to interrupt but I send him an angry glare that stops him in his tracks.

"I'm fourteen." He states, also glaring at Dave – he's not the most popular fellow here then.

I take a deep breath as I realise what this means. Nathan's older than Bryony. Dave cheated before me. And he said all that stuff...

"No," Dave speaks up, and then apparently reads my mind because he says, "it's not what you think. I _never_ slept with anyone else while we were together." I didn't say anything. "It was... it happened after I found out about you and Robbie. I went to a bar and got unbelievably drunk ok? The girl only told me two months ago that I had a _kid_. Of course what no one knew is that I actually have _two_."

"I don't believe you." I said quietly. And it's true. I can't believe what he did.

I don't know whether to blame him. I don't even know whether I hate him or not.

**Bryony**

I don't listen to anything else. I just run away upstairs to cry into a pillow. That's what they do in most books and films anyway – it seemed like the thing to do.

Though it didn't make me feel any better. Dave's known about Nathan for two months and he comes around straight away to find him. He's known about me for 13 years and only now does he make an appearance.

He doesn't care. He doesn't care about me or Gee. Probably not even Nathan.

Nathan... Nathan is my _brother_. How weird and scary is that? Should I be happy? I don't know what it's like to have a sibling. Hell, about from Callum I don't even know what it's like to be around people my own age. And now Callum's out of the picture now as well.

Everything has changed so much. And I don't think it's stopped yet. All this stuff that's coming out... it sucks.

**Robbie**

I never told anyone, not a soul, that I thought Bryony was my child. Obviously other's knew that me and Gee slept together but I never told them the other part. And I'm glad I didn't because right now I feel like the biggest loser on the planet.

Of _course_ Dave is the father. Dave always got everything that I wanted. And now he's beat me at the final hurdle too.

Even after all this – even after finding out that Dave slept with someone else and had another kid – even after that, Gee doesn't even seem that angry.

So I right now I don't know what hurts more – that I'm not Bryony's dad or that Gee might possibly be in love with Dave again.

**Gee**

I told everyone to go straight after Bryony ran upstairs crying. Because it made me realise that right now, Dave or Robbie don't really matter. Not right now.

So I made them leave without saying another word and then headed up into Bry's room. She was sat with her face slammed into her pillow and I was pretty sure she didn't hear me come in so I knocked.

She didn't say anything and neither did I. I just joined her on the bed and put my arms round her.

**Bryony**

I hugged Gee back straight away and buried my head in her shoulder. She even made us sway a little bit which surprisingly helped.

She really is a better mum that she thinks she is. That maybe even _I _think she is sometimes.

But I won't forget again. Never.

I don't care about anyone else. I have Gee for a mum. And that's all I need.

**Let me know what you think :)**

**horns out ;)**

**x**


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